I got to ask the question on everyone's mind.... and you wonder why they don't let you do children's parties anymore?

w usually, I do like to try to be more of a rascist that anyone else, perhaps more so.

hey there Monkey!! long time!! good to see you around again.

Halloween Horror - The True Story....

So, there i was, out in the woods in a private little place I like to go to and cry, or write in my journal, and from out of no where, a big bear claw is on my shoulder. Having wished I'd worn my brown rubber safety pants, I hesitated, and ever so slowly turned around...
'Only you-</i> '

"AAAAAAAAAAGHHH!!!", I screamed in what could only be called the most masculine scream ever screamed by man.

'Whoa, there, little buddy!</i>'

'Oh, it's you Smokey. As you can probably smell, you really surprised the crap out of me'.

'Only you can prevent forest fires!</i>'

"Jeez, Smokey, only me? That's a lot of responsibility for just one man. I honestly don't think I'm up to it."

I have complete faith in your abilities, little buddy! Say, you are pretty tense about this, your muscles are rigid....maybe you'll feel better when you're better informed.....I have some brochures and pamphlets up at my cave. Maybe reading thru them will help you understand the importance of fire prevention.</i>'


.....and after a few drinks, one thing led to another,
'Maybe you need a massage.You're still so tense, It's OK, I'm a bear, I know what I'm doing.have another long island iced tea''</i>

and I know I've said this before about alligators, but from personal experience - trust me, the only thing worse than being mauled and eaten by a bear, is to be loved by one.
When I woke up, with only that ranger hat on, i felt so violated and dirty. I took the $20 left on the nightstand and went home as fast as I could and scrubbed and scrubbed with wire brushes and brillo pads - they just don't make water hot enough to wash away the shame.

I guess the morale of this story is never turn your back on a bear, and I mean that litterally. Especially if it's just some guy in a bear costume.

(i gotta go brush my teeth again).

I guess no one cares about an interspecies love story of betrayal and grizzly bear date rape. Just wait until it happens to one of you!


Yes, i do indeed know a thing or two about forbiden love and dark passions. For you see, when i was younger, I kind of had a thing for Mrs.Butterworth.... with her maple-y brown sweetness seeping into all the nooks and crannys of-
-ahem-
So my parents wanted to send me to a psychiatrist, but lacking the money, they did the next best thing..

I was diagnosed with Waffle Maddness(*1), and since it was in it's later stages. the vet said they were going to have to put me down...
That was just about when DCFS(*2) came and took me away to live in a foster home. Sure, I was 27 at the time, but it still hurt, and it still hurts.

....Well, it wasn't all bad, I got a nice flea dip,a bath, and treated for worms(no more scooting my butt across the carpeting for me).

but i was about this close ;---------------; to getting neutered... well, maybe this close
;------------------------------------------------------------------------=):

(hey it's nothing to brag about, but I can still poke an eye out with it.)


------footnotes-----------
(*1) a.ka. Pancake Dementia - The Dreaded French Toast Fever - The Captain Crunch Clap

(*2) Department of Children and Family Services
</i>

Please, Monkey... think of a long story and write a book!!! it'd be next to Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett and Tom Sharpe books in my shelf. (and my Monty Python dvds!!)

Keep it up!

Moooo-chos Gracious, mi amigos.

Today's topic is on legalized torture, and I think it's a wonderfull idea, though there are a few areas i'm unsure of.....

one of them is: If I'm being tortured by the goverment,
(Maybe a more accurate term for 'if'</i> could be </i>'when'</i>).
Let's say I confess to something I could not possibly have done, ( shooting abe lincon) as a result of my old fashioned and sentimental attachement (some may say 'quaint</i>') desire of having my testicals not ripped off slowly by a pair of plyers, I was wondering-
1. Would I then be charged with some other crime, like confessing to a crime i did not/could not have commited?
2. If I'm being detained, and I know i've done nothing wrong, will I face a lawsuit by the goverment for knowingly being innocent, yet not being able to prove that I am not guilty? Sure, I wont know what the charges are to my detainment, but i'm sure I must be there for a reason. Will I have to put up backpayment for all the years spent on keeping me locked up/food/torture insurance/or having to pay dry cleaners for all the torturer's uniforms I maliciously spilled a large portion of my blood on them while the beat me?

Well, I dont want the idea of legalize torture to sound all bad, there are a few good points:
If i've been tortured for months/years, and they find out I'm completly innocent, thanks to the new laws, they dont have to shoot me in the head and dump me off somewhere so no one finds out. they can just let me go and expect me to appologize, or perhaps suing me for causing my torturer's to suffer the 'emotional trauma' of beating or having raped the wrong man, or for wasting thier time, and interfing with national security.


Just think of all those who benefit from having legalized torture in the USA, not just the sexual sadists, or the lawyers, the whole carreer of becoming a profesional torturer will become mainstream. Perhaps a college devoted to it. Not to mention the manufacturing sector! You'll finally be able to get what I think every parent in america would want to help in disciplining of thier children, Yes, thier own Home Waterboard Action Playset(TM). No need to ground little Johnny or send him to his room, the occassional sexual humilation and forced near drowning experience will really set his liberal ass straight. Because it's not techniqually torture, so drown away ya' little bastard.

Since nobody had even the slightest interested in my little 1500 page comicbook, here is some pictures from it.
I never used this imageshack place before, but here are some pics(if it works right)-

this is from Supermarket Siege Zombie Massacre, about 250 pages into it....
<img src="http://images.dead-donkey.com/images/dotmadayinbleak10041pn0.jpg" border="0" alt="Image Hosted by ImageShack.us">

http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/8894 ... 041pn0.jpg








here is SpudTrek

Spud is the one in the middle, dxa is the blue suited dude, purple nightmare is the purple guy, the chick with handlebars is bonnie parker, yellowshirt glasses is pc arcade, and as in real life, i'm the guy in the speedos with my sidekick/hostage Wonderbunny.



(i just thought this one was funny, I sometimes answer the door this way)



Questions? Comments? Critisism? Death threats?


edit-it seems there is a popup when clicking on thumbnails.

well, I had kinda wanted opinions on it, good or bad.

I needed to get some of those quote/blurb things to put on the back cover.....

(possible example suggestions)-

---feel free to mix and match---

complete disinterest? yikes.

or was it so bad it gave you all cancer?

eh, I guess I'll check back in another week and go out drinking. If nobody says nothing, by the time I'm sober, hell, I guess I'll apply to business school, or some crap.

maybe you want to talk to this guy monkey?
http://scifi.dead-donkey.com/viewtopic.php?t=2876

He's publishing/publish a comic

Well i like the coloring in them, good job on that. Some of the illustrations are very well done but there are also some which i find less 'succesfull'.
Also i would try another font for the text you're using. Enough free ones to find on the web. Overall i would say with some addition work/alterations it could be great

heh, yeah!
now that's the kind of responses I dream of, 2 with no real comments about them, and at least a decent one from pure. I wouldn't mind more along the lines of pure's post, constructive critisism stuff, as the entire thing has reached 1500 pages long at the moment, It'd be a shame if absolutely nobody liked it, sure, I'd still work on it, but less enthusiastically. or maybe just start drinking. If someone doesn't like it, or hates it completly, vomits at the thought of reading another page, I'd prefer to hear that then an absense of comment. Honest, if it's bad, it wont hurt my feelings. Sure I'd be bummed a bit, but if it's a person's honest opinion, no problem.

(edit - it's 1748 pages with 52 chapters at the moment, to be exact. Though a lot of the pages are just scribbles with dialogue.)

I kind of prefer critisism, to tell the trueth. Stuff to work on and improve. some folks i know say its really good. I don't know if they are trying to be polite or what, screw polite, I have a fear that what I think is interesting may, in fact be completely cliche and stereotyped with no logical plot points or series of events that proceed in a sane manner. Kind of like Ed Wood (plan 9 from outerspace) does in a lot of his films.or, as i've mentioned to spud, maybe nobody actually told the director of House of the dead how incredibly bad it was, maybe he just didnt know. or as I suspect, that house of hte dead was the only movie ever shot, directed, and edited without anyone having looked at it.

-PURE-
There is something wrong with the font? Do the letters get cut off on your monitor? I use supposedly the same type of font regular comicbooks use, I think it's actually called 'comicbook font regular'.
I didn't notice until i saw one I uploaded to the image shacks page using another computer monitor (I don't have a monitor for my computer, I have to use a television to see, my eyesight is freakishly bad.severe astigmatism and 25000/20 vision - i'm not exagerating. what I can see from 20 feet(6 or so meters), you could see from space.).

-
Does the pictures show up too dark? I notice how they appear on my tv is very bright and well defined, while on a monitor I cant see details, it all looks like lesser shades of black.


if you don't have a comicbook reader program, this is a good one-
hxxttp://www.geocities.com/davidayton/CDisplay
or the prog itself version 1.8
hxxttp://cdisplay.techknight.com/setup.zip
this prog lets you adjust brightness levels, color saturation, magnification, buncha stuff.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'll next put up the first half of chapter 1 (the character intros) and a large portion of chapter 4(it has a lot of zombie/monster/bloody violent action and massacre stuff)

I'll put it in .cbr format (that's just winwar/zip files with the extension changed to be read by cdisplay.)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What i wouldn't mind, and if you'd be so kind:
what you people like/dislike about:
-the characters (i worry they are too much stereotypes, I actuall put that in a conversation with them, about how they notice that they're like the friggin A-Team).
-the dialogue (is it interesting or funny/too annoying). does it make you want to continue reading. or just fuck up the whole pacing of the story.

So, there i was, doing laundry - and it was revolting.

Seriously, my favortie white shirt was the ring leader, and appearantly hid a pistol in the lint trap. I mean I turned away for just a second, and
-BAMM- they got hostages.
I always knew life got tougher as I got older, but this - in all honestly, i did not expect.
My laundry must have been planning this for months, they showed a high degree of coordination, all the time i had wanted some kind of color coordination, they apparently where working on tactial urban warfare and gurilla tactics.
Amnesty International (laundry devision) sent an official to mediate. The clothes demands were simple,
1. Equal rights for all mismatched socks
2. smaller washloads
3. A fueled up plane with a pilot to take them to Holland.
(apparently they'd been watching a documentary from thier clothes hamper about Holland and they figured the windmills would make them dry faster. I tried to explain windmills don't work that way, but dirty clothes don't listen, there's no reasoning with them, all hopped up on fabric softeners - they got nothing to loose.)

I said 'I DON"T NEGOTIATE WITH LAUNDRY!"
...and they threw out some pantyhose.
the mediator snickered, and i said 'those arent mine',
but his look made me feel dirty, so I decided to cut my loses and run.
"You can all rot in a goodwill donation bin for all I care, you dirty stinking polyester bastards!'

Thats when the cops showed up, and my favorite shirt grabbed me as a human shield and told the cops
'Back off, Peeegs, or the gringo gets it!'

And the cops immediately jumped to my defense by demanding
'Do you have any better hostages?'

'what, peeeg?'

'do you have a better hostage - maybe someone whiter?'

'We'll keel him, peeg.'
'Not if we shoot him first!'
-BAMM-BAMM-BAMM-

And that's how doing laundry killed me.

Laundry
Now i know why i got a windmill in my backyard

Monkeylog 03-10-07
Still naked, without clothing, hiding from a pair of sweatsocks that still hold a grudge against me. ( I've never really appreciated the special dedication and care that my last wives have gone thru to maintain me in clean pants. To them, I salute you, and if I could remember your maiden names, I'd send you a gift basket.)

But, alas, I digress.
It is with a heavey heart i must confess this disturbing event of these last few days...
I, M.Smasher, have been rejected by more women this week than in all the
previous weeks combined.
I don't mean that in the term by the number of women, but in the sheer mass and body weight of these perfectly shaped(*) females..
Yes, in layman's terms, I've been hittin on the fatties.*
I know, I know - I think it was william shakespear who first said 'fat women need love, too - they just have to pay for it.'



*By shape I mean sphere,pear,and in one case a trapahedazoid with cellulite

**though not all technically 'fat'. Some where the 6-7ft amazon types, 200 pounds of muscley lumberjack quality love.

yeah, a gift basket of my laundry.[/i][/u]

You may not believe this, but that is the exact same black dress and platform shoes I almost wore today.
Sure, I'm a 200 pound 5'11 scruffy looked thug, but I think I pulled it off.

Still that blonde, so tall a willowy, pretty - like a tree. If I wasn't so sure she'd press charges, well, I'd try to climb her.