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PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2007 2:26 am  Post subject:
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The Devil, Probably
Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2002 3:07 am
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Location: I'm inside of you.
-ahem- dusting off this chestnut

So, I was in bed with my girlfriend, and I accidently called her 'Frank'.
Talk about pissed.
But in my defense, she does look a lot like Frankenstein, and I tried to explain it to her, but she's crazy - she just wont list to reason, she's like a madwoman. The more I told her, the angry-er she got. Ah, my soulmate, She can hold a grudge, and I'm an incredibly light sleeper - we were the perfext match.

--alternate version--------------------------------------

So, I was in bed with my girlfriend, and I accidently called her 'Frank'.
I know what you're thinking, and it has nothing to do with some closet freudian slip thing. Simply put, some men enjoy women in lingere or leather outfits, myself, I've always had a thing* for the Universal Classic Monsters. Sure, the Wolf Man, the Mummy, Dracula, Creature from the black laggoon, Frankenstein. It's just a quirk I have, and I assure you its all completly normal. ( I seem to have got myself into a dead end alley because all the monsters are technically male, so i wont mention it)

I really dont think i could ever be a homosexual... unless it was someohow very, very funny - and honestly, I'm not seeing it happening.


-----------------------------------------

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'You - you monster! Why? Why in God's name do you do these horrible things??!'

'I thought it was obvious, you sillly girl.
I'm a monster. I do monstrous things.'


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2007 4:45 am  Post subject:
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The Devil, Probably
Joined: Thu Jul 03, 2003 9:45 pm
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Location: The Land Of The Virgin Queen
Speaking of Franks... what the hell happened to Man Made Man? I still have some of the beginnings from what? 3 years ago...

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2007 10:10 pm  Post subject:
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The Devil, Probably
Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2002 3:07 am
Posts: 2174
Location: I'm inside of you.
actually, I was rebuilding a website these last couple days since i started posting here again. I've spent about every day working on it, and the artwork has steadily been getting better. It's 1744 pages long at the moment, though i'm splitting it up into 100 page chapters/books.
err, that 60 pages of the ManmadeMan comic is not part of this 100 pages, wich i call 'A Day In Bleak' - wich is just what happens the first day the characters get to Bleak. (i'll PM you once i put 100 pages up, so you can see it first, proof reader if you will.)

The second 200 or so pages in part 2 i was going to call 'A Week in Bleak'- wich is basicall the first week surviving in zombietown.
then come 'a year in bleak' wich does the rest of the year.
the animated version has come along, but it's not as good as i'd like it too be.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 4:38 am  Post subject:
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The Devil, Probably
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Location: The Land Of The Virgin Queen
Ok, looking forward to the first 100. Is there a completed .cbr for ManmadeMan? What I have is sort of a disorganized folder of .jpg's.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 12:19 am  Post subject:
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The Devil, Probably
Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2002 3:07 am
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Location: I'm inside of you.
Sigh, no matter how many times I get fired from a job this one just hurts. I mean, I was one of the best Imperial Grand Wizards of the KLu Klux Klan ever, or so I thought. When I put on that white hood and robes, clocked in, I was all business.''The black man is the servant of the Jew, Who works for the homosexual, amen my white brothers!'. But come 5pm, when I clock out, I expect some me time.
So there we were, at the company picnic, and thru no fault of my own, I brought my girlfriend. Talk about a bunch of assholes. I didn't think anything about it, I mean c'mon, I'm supposed to hate 'em 24-7? Whats up with that? I mean i guess the cornrows were a dead give away, but i'd kinda thought no one would notice Shanariqua wasn't so much anglo saxxon, as she was well, Somalian. Jeez, If we white guys arent suppose to like 'ethnically challenged' women, then why the hell are they so freakin' hot?
Any way, they kicked me out of the KKK, (it was my third written warning in one week)*, I'm banned from all rascists groups, no aryan brotherhood, no boot boys, I'm not even allowed to vote Republican.

ah, crap, I sure hope she got home ok. I kinda forgot her while running for my life.


*I got a written warning for my view an children and drugs. Children should not do drugs, and I mean any. No vaccinations, no innoculations, antibiotics, nothing. survival of the fittest I say. Lets weed out the genetically impure and bring america back as the new master race, and we can finnaly have the eskimos and the indian mountain tribes of south america (who seem immune to cancer) take thier place as the true rulers of the world.

I have to admit, I'm not the best white supremist, espescially since i'm a mexican, but at least I try.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For you, Mr. Karstsmobile, I will send a few hundred pages, and the animated parts for your private perusal. mind you, many panels are nothing more than rough sketches, a lot of different dialogues that i hadnt decided on in various panels. There is however, a 'Karstmobile Stone Quarry and geological Mining Camp' in it. The owner of the camp happens to be named Karstmobile, and he has a little ventriliquest puppet who tells him what to do or he stabs him, but it's all completely coincidental and has no resemblence to anyone, living or dead...errr, well besides you.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 1:21 am  Post subject:
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The Devil, Probably
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Location: The Land Of The Virgin Queen
:lol: I can't friggin wait now. I'll keep the haldol at the ready in case it/me gets to psychotic.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2007 10:31 pm  Post subject:
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The Devil, Probably
Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2002 3:07 am
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Location: I'm inside of you.
err, here's a picture of karstmobile P.I. and jimmy, working a job undercover.
I just threw this one together because i was thinking about err, i really don;t know. takyon is in it, too.
It seemed funny while i was drawing it, but now it just seems, unpleasant. kind of mean, i guess. I didn;t mean it to be. seemed funnier. oh, well i drew it, wrote it, may as well put it up.

i couldn't figure out how to put it on imageshack or my old website.

Image

Image


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 12:28 am  Post subject:
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The Devil, Probably
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Location: The Land Of The Virgin Queen
:o

Well... I sure wasn't expecting that... :lol:

Short shorts... roller skates... gay-stash...

:fruity:

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 1:21 am  Post subject:
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The Devil, Probably
Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2002 3:07 am
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Location: I'm inside of you.
arrgh.
it seemed funny at the time. I drew it so i wouldn't forget it. though now i cant seem to get it out of my brain.
it started out i was thinking about how short and stubby my legs were, yet quick enough to stay one step ahead of my creditors, and somehow it ended up like the picture.
there was also a pirate involved.

there was a portion i forgot to put after jimmy says 'destraightenator' panel stuff where you and he are elected president of the gay conspiracy, and how you secretly save the world and destroy the gay gun, mostly left out because i didn't know how to spell "Liberachi' clone army - or whatever the singer gayguy was, developing the 'Re-straightenator' and deploying it, with ellen degeneress as a double agent, thus saving mankind from the i assume pain of gay male sex.

wich was all just the set up to explaining to your mother why you're the gay poster child magazine cover.

eh, i'll just delete it, and put something else up.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 1:31 am  Post subject:
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The Devil, Probably
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Location: The Land Of The Virgin Queen
monkeysmasher wrote:
arrgh... though now i cant seem to get it out of my brain...


ditto

:lol:

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 2:19 am  Post subject:
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The Devil, Probably
Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2002 3:07 am
Posts: 2174
Location: I'm inside of you.
Karst and Jimmy, a love story. the alternative version.

-Karst's neighbor's car speed's by, splashing muddy water on Karst.

Jimmy-'Don't take that from him.'
Karst-'who said that?'
Jimmy-'I did, numbnuts! There's only one thing you can do, one thing that bastard deserves....you have too... kill him?'
Karst-'what? No, no, this isn't possible! You can talk??!
Jimmy-'obviously,i can, you idiot. Now, kill him.'
Karst-'No,No I could never kill anyone. no not ever.I must be having some kind of psychotic break. Dolls don't really talk.'

the next day as karst gets home from work, lays back in bed to watch TV.

Jimmy- 'well numbnuts, did you kill him? or did you just punk out like a little bitch?
Karst-' I know you're just a delusion, bought upon me by an enurism, or a brain tumor, or whatever, so you'd know I would never kill him. Ever.'
Jimmy-'I knew it, you're just a little punk ass bitch! Let the world keep pissing on you, you deserve it!'
Karst-'as part of my subconscious, you must know I'd never kill anyone. that's why I had to dig up his dead mother, place her corpse in bed next to him while he slept, abduct his wife and bury her in his mother's grave,alive.'
Jimmy-'That;s right, your a weak little..... wait what?'
Karst-'well, jimmy it seemed quite obvious. really, the only solution. See by the time he woke up and figures out what happened she'll likely have suffocated before he can dig her up. This way, everybody wins. I win, you win, they win, everybody wins, well, except the ones who died, but who cares, right?'
Jimmy-'umm, really? hey, wait a second, what are you going to do with that hacksaw?'
-SMACK-
Karst-'SPEAK ONLY WHEN SPOKEN TOO, BITCH'
Jimmy-'WAIT!! THIS ISN'T HOW IT's SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN-'
-SMACK-
Karst-'SILENCE, WHORE! NOW WHOSE GETTING A CAMEL TOE! HUH? TAKE IT BITCH TAKE IT!'
Jimmy-'ahhhhh!HELP HELP!'
Karst-'NOBODY'S GONNA HEAR YOU SCREAM, BITCH! THIS IS MY PSYCHOTIC BREAK AND I"M TAKING FULL ADVANTAGE OF IT!HAHAHAHAHA!'


Karst-'and that was the last time Jimmy ever gave me any lip, It took a lot of drill bits, and plenty of wood glue, but we finaly understand each other.'

weeks later
at a bus stop bench,
Jimmy-'Life is like a box of chocolates, right, sir?'
Karst-'No. life is like a broken pencil.....pointless.'
Jimmy-'You're going to stab me in the eye with a pencil, arent you, sir?'
Karst-'I sure am, jimmy, haha, I sure am.'


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 2:38 am  Post subject:
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The Devil, Probably
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Location: The Land Of The Virgin Queen
If only that could have been captured in 3 or 4 panels...

:beerchug:

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 10:08 pm  Post subject:
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The Devil, Probably
Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2002 3:07 am
Posts: 2174
Location: I'm inside of you.
I have to say with quite some certainty, It is the rest of the world that is crazy, not I.

The following is a true story, and by true i mean it actually is true.

As i was grochery shopping yesterday evenening, I happened to glance down the cosmetics aisle and see a rather large woman (320 pounds, I dont know how much that is in kilograms or 'stones' or whatever, lets just say fatter than santa in a thong.) pulling her shirt up and inserting merchandise into what i could only describe as a series of fat rolls ass cracklike or perhaps layers of flabby breasts lining the sides of her sides.

My friends, I have been to war, but nothing could compare to the horror of that, nothing......or so I thought. :o
I knew I needed vodka, and I Knew i needed a lot of it before the image penetrated (-ick-) it's way into the long term storage area of my brain.
THat didn't seem to be doing to the trick, maybe it's my decades long addiction to painkillers and sleeping pills somehow blocked it. I did what I think anyone in this situation would do,
Some H-bombs
(if you don't know what that is, well, hehehe)
anyway, as i'm feeling myself loosing what little grasp on lucidity and completely lost my war with gravity, drifting in and out of the land of hallucinagenic nod, and some guy tried to fuck me!!

AAAACK!
(eh, if you didn't know I'm male.) (errr, all male, I'm all man, baby)

I did manage to escape with all my virtue intact, but it really got me thinking of all the times i've been with a drunk and/or high chick.
There's a morale to this whole thing about personal space and respecting other peoples lack of inhibitions when intoxicated.

So did I learn a valuable lesson?

Nope. I didn't learn a damn thing.

Like trying to explain to my girlfriend why some guy's class ring was lodged in my rectum. :moon:


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 2:54 am  Post subject:
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The Ancient One
Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2003 3:28 pm
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Location: Somewhere between dimensions, waiting.
I hate it when things get lodged in my rectum.

I had this incident with a jack hammer once. A most unpleasan experience.

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 6:20 am  Post subject:
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The Devil, Probably
Joined: Mon Jun 09, 2003 1:04 pm
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Location: In the darkest spot of your soul.
TaKYoN wrote:
I had this incident with a jack hammer once. A most unpleasan experience.


Yeah, but don't complain. Imagine how the jack hammer must have felt.


....or should I say: "how Jack Hammer felt". :lol:


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 2:08 pm  Post subject:
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The Ancient One
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Location: Somewhere between dimensions, waiting.
LOL he was not amused.

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 3:10 pm  Post subject:
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The Devil, Probably
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Location: I'm inside of you.
i'd say. the jackhammer ended up putting out a restraining order. The Tak-meister is not allowed within 500 meters of any construction site or hardware store, lest litigation ensues.

on a similar note, last night i had the strangest dream. there i was in prison, and who ended up being my cellmate? Jesus :jesus:
I'll just cut to the end -

'I don't care who your father was, I'm your daddy now! So get on your knees and pray, you long haired hippy bitch. and that beard better be shaved PDQ. And put on some damn makeup. Pal, you're just lucky Buddha made parole. That cat was into some sick shit.'


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 5:24 pm  Post subject:
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The Ancient One
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LOL my dream last night was pretty strange. Every time I looked at my boots they were ripped and full of holes, even though I was wearing a tuxedo.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 6:36 pm  Post subject:
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The Devil, Probably
Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2002 3:07 am
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Location: I'm inside of you.
---serious portion of my post---------------
As yet another country fall's the tyranical forces of insane copyright
protection (canada), 2 years in prison for recording in a theatre on a
cell phone? I believe i read somewhere some guy in USA got like 17
years for recording a film (i'm not 100% sure on that one, just what i
thought i heard.)

My suggestion -
why don't people start going into theaters and just pretend to record
the film?
Build some fake camcorders at home out of like plastic junk and duct
tape, paint 'em black and grey, just so they look like a camcorder.
hell, if you're creative, throw in a christmas tree light for the red
recording glow. Doesn't seem like it'd be too hard to make a convincing one, specially if it's in a dark theatre.

get a few dozen/hundred/thousand (whatever amount who care enough about these crazy laws to try and activily protest) to do that everytime they go to the movies.
If enough people do it, maybe the cop's/politicians will get the idea,
and change the law (yeah, that's doubtfull, they'd probably make carrying a simulated camcorder a crime). or maybe they'd finally be authorized just to start shooting people. :matrix:

But hell, it's an idea.
Heh, the last time I went to the movies, I think it was to see
'gladiator'. So it's not an issue for me.


----------The strang(er) portion of my post -----------------------

This is the dream I had last night -

-Sung to the music of Eminem's 'Stan' -

Dear Steven Hawkins,
My town is so boring it defies the laws of physics by both sucking and
blowing simultaneously.Your are the smartest guy in the world, so please investigate. Enclosed is $36 for a round trip SuperSaver bus ticket.
Anxiously Awaiting Your Arrival,
M. Smasher.


-----Dido solo-------

Dear Steven Hawkins,
Me again. Still waiting for your arrival. I hope everything is OK.
Did the bus people not let you strap your chair to the hood of the bus?
Or if you can't get out of your chair, would they not tie a rope to it
to drag you behind the bus? I sure hope you're ok.
Anxiously your's
M.Smasher.
P.S. Does your penis function?


-----Dido solo-------

Dear Dr.Hawkins,
I really did not appreciate the tone of your lawyer's letter, but i forgive you, buddy!
Your best friend in the whole world,
M.Smasher..


----Dido solo-------

Hawkins,
A restraining order? against me? I thought we were friends, best friends. That just broke my heart. I'm done writing you letters.
Borderline personality-ly your's
M.Smasher
P.S. I'm writing this from your chair's keyboard. You may not want to turn around.


-----------------------------------------------------

-or alternative ending-
The Police: 'Dr. Hawkins, run! The letter's are coming from inside the house!They're from your chair! RUN!

'He can't run you fool, he's in that damn chair!!
'You mean the chairs stalking him?'

(Unexcpected plot twist -bumbahbummm-
-----------------------------------------------------
Please take in mind this is satire. If you can't tell this is a joke, errr, I really don't know what to say. Ah, what are the chances Hawkin's is reading this, it's a joke and not a threat.

man, and i better not have to pay royalties for using a song in a dream i had.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 9:12 pm  Post subject:
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The Ancient One
Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2003 3:28 pm
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HHM, afraid I will have to read that post again next time I am stoned.

It is the only time they make sense :wink:

I had a friend like you once, but I think he lives on his own now, in the middle of nowhere. Something to do with being misunderstood.

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