check if you have 'Allow Waiting Queue Overflow' - I set mine to Friends, Community and Release PRIO (using sivka)
and about queue - it is always *better* for *you*not to have full queue, full queue increase bandwidth overhead, not reduce it
first: the number of clients trying to get something from you doesn't depend on your queue size but on stuff you have
so if your queue size is 5000 and there are 10000 clients knocking 5000 of them will be in queue and the other 5000 will knock "randomly"
second: if someone's client is in your queue it reask you every 20 or so minutes, if it's not it does it more often just to get position...
hope I can be understood with my perfect english