The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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Author:  Slayer [ Sat Feb 17, 2018 7:30 pm ]
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Had a horrornight at school again, but they used new rules so only kids of 16 years and above could enter. Since most kids visiting the night are below 16, this meant that I had very few kids watching the horror with me. They saw:

Scream 2 - this Craven classic is the best one of the series imo. The sequel jokes are funny and the kills/gore are nice. It was quite a while ago since I had seen this, but I still knew almost everything.

The Faculty - in my student's dorm this used to be the movie every new housemate had to watch as some kind of inauguration. In those days I have seen this film 10-15 times, so I almost know this by heart. Nice reactions, especially on the best scene of this film: Famke Janssen's head on tentacles, crawling towards her headless body which is trying to find the head.

Piranha - this one didn't sit in my longterm memory as solidly as the previous two, but since it's storyline is so simple it easily came back to me. At first there were some technical problems, but after I fiddled a bit with the cables everything was fine. The predictability of this film is epic and the weird sound the piranhas make while attacking will haunt you for hours after you have seen this.

Author:  Slayer [ Sun Feb 18, 2018 4:44 pm ]
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Cyxork 7 - one of teh Troma films in the big pile I bought recently. This one has Ray Wise and on the cover he looks like some superhero ina scifi film, but this film is not a scsifi film, it is about making a scifi film. So this low budget film about making a low budget film is the n-th fil m I have on this subject and frankly, I'm a bit done with it. So I thought this film was rather boring, even though the acting is above avergae for this type of movie, and the setting isn't even that bad. But while I love seeing teenagers being hacked up by slasher/killer number 28247283, I think that "making a movie on a shoestring in the desert" part 2830856 is just not my thing. There were a few funny moments, but they couldn't save the film for me. Had I known this beforehand, then I wouldn't have bought it.

Author:  Slayer [ Tue Feb 20, 2018 12:08 am ]
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Bloodspit - another Troma and this one tries to make a vampire movie. It's Australian and usually I have good fun with Oz horror, but tis one doesn't really cut it. Why? Because it wants to be a comedy and does it half-assed. The jokes vary from OK-ish "how would you like your stake?" to outright childish (the myriad of sexjokes is touching levels of intolerance). The gore is OK, there are some very bloody mutilations, but because this movie also wants to be something sexy and funny it all fails and turns into a mediocre miserable flick. I don't think I'm gonna watch this one again anytime soon.

Author:  Slayer [ Sat Feb 24, 2018 8:58 pm ]
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River of Death - bought this one because it looked a bit like an Italoesque mix betwen cannibalsploitation and nazisploitation. It's an adventurefilm which has some violence, but compared to the works of Deodato and Fulci this is quite tame. The story is about two nazis of whom one betrays the other at the end of the war. The other one swears to take his revenge so in the 60s he sets up an expedition to the Amazonian jungle, where a "lost city" is. In this city he thinks he'll find his nemesis. Meanwhile, another expedition a bit earlier, stumbled upon a deadly disease causing many cauaslties among the local tribes, and whle the expedition meets it's demise in the jungle, one of it's members is presumed alive. So the hero of the story wants to find this girl (not a ccoincidence it's a girl, ofc) and he gets hired by the ex-nazi who wants his enemy dead. They have to struggle against riverpirates, hostile tribes, the jungle itself and of course the nazi guards of the evil doctor in the lost city. If you wanna have some mindless fun (it's not like you need your brain to follow this story), or are into an 80s adventurefilm, you can easily pick this one. It has some aspects of Italo, mainly in atmosphere and acting, but it's not as hardcore, like I said.

Author:  Slayer [ Sun Feb 25, 2018 3:09 pm ]
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Eve of Destruction - infamous scifi in our country because it stars Renee Soutendijk, one of the first Dutch actresses to try and make it across to Hollywood. The film is about a robot which is next to human and secretly designed by the US governemtn, of course to hunt down international terrorists. But when this robot experiences a bank heist, it gets shot and the internals are damaged, so the robot becomes evil now. A commando-like hotshot is hired to stop the robot, who has the feelings, dreams and memories of it's creator implanted, so the military man teams up with her to find and terminate the robot. One little problem: the robot can set itself to explode a nuclear warhead inside itself, endangering the surroundings. I know this movie ecause of Soutendijk and because of the Night of Bad Taste compilation. What's so bad about it, is the entire plot, it is simply quite ridiculous. Apart from that, the film isn't all so gruesome: production values are high, there are quite some familiar faces in the cast, effects are OK-ish and acting is good overall (except maybe for Soutendijk who has to act like a robot and does that a bit awkwardly). The action is cool with a gazillion bullets being fired and cars exploding here and there. Another great example of mindless fun: bad moviefans might like it, but there are cooler so bad it's good scifi films out there.

Author:  Slayer [ Thu Mar 01, 2018 3:11 pm ]
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Tomcat Angels - no horror, this Troma film. The cover reminded me of the Bullets, Bombs and Babes series, and there are some similarities, but also some differences. To start with the differences: this film has a setting which fits the TV series JAG better: navy and airforce in impeccable white uniforms celebrate the graduation of a bunch of women in the flight school for jets. Immediately after, two if them get sent out to "the Persian Gulf" and when one of them gets shot down, the others also move to the Gulf and go and rescue her. So the protagonists are all pilots, so action is therefore in the sky instead of on the ground as in the BBB series. But, as in those series, the women all get laid in various ways, some more romantic than others ("ready to ride the bull?"). Both story and acting are mediocre to bad, so I laughed a few times because of some stupidities, like pinpointing the location of the prisoner on a map of the entire Middle East. In the escape scene everyone grabs a plastic AK47 to shoot him- or herself out of the compound. So I had some fun, buit not as much as with the BBB series. Also, this Troma lacked any real violence, it was all quite clean (so clean even that bulletwounds don't even have an impact and/or blood squirting out) which is a bit of a letdown. All in all quite OK, but if you want girls with guns I'd go for the BBB's.

Author:  Slayer [ Sat Mar 03, 2018 6:36 pm ]
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The Chosen One: legend of the raven - this film advertises the fact that it has Carmen Electra and a Playboy playmate of the month in the cast. This should tell you enough about what kind of movie this is. The story is about a girl called Emma who gets killed and now her older sister McKenna (Electra) has to take her place as the keeper of the crescent, some sacred amulet of the local tribe. As the keeper she must fight for the good side as the raven, whose powers she will take over by some ceremonies. In the very small town where this all takes place (some 10 people live there, including the tribesmen), there is also a woman who turns into the wolf, fighting for the bad side. Why this happens you don't get to know, but as the "wolf" she dresses up as some sort of SM dominatrix, killing people just because she is evil. The raven dresses up in a silver spandex suit with a mask that reminded me of Gwendoline the B-movie. This fight of good vs evil happens against a background with a love triangle and the production/distribution of crystal meth. So you get to see some soft erotic lovescenes, but apparently they didn't have enough money to get Electra naked. The storyline, the acting and especially the sfx on the appearing and disappearing of ghosts will appeal to bad moviefans.

The Macabre Pair of Shorts - this weird title is put on a Tromafilm which actually was a positive surprise. It's an anthology about two guys having to work on Halloween night. They work at Panavision, and when they want to adjust the airco they find a strange film so they decide to watch it. This film is called The Macabre Pair of Shorts and there is a warning on the can that watching it will cost you your soul. The first short is about a killer with a blood disease who gets turned into a vampire but then starts an unprecedented killing spree. The second short is about a TV show featuring a guy being followed by a mime who wants him to eat ham and eggs. This one was really weird, and it was accompanied by a second wraparound story about two vampires watching the TV show. When the movie ends, the film itself (the celluloid I mean) attacks the two co-workers and they have to fight for their lives to survive the night. Great and absurdistic ending to a very nice film which has the guy from Buffy and Angel in a short appearance before he became famous. Some nice spoofs and overall good atmosphere. Recommended, not just for bad moviefans.

Actium Maximus: war of the alien dinosaurs - this one really took the cake tonight. Extremely absurdistic, this scifi which was made for almost no money. Advice: look up some pictures of this film and check out if you like what you see. You might consider this spoiling, but spoiling this film is next to impossible, as watching it will give you a completely new experience. It's a bit hard to explain the story, as there is no real plot. There are two storylines, one about Actium, the main planet colonized years ago by a race led by Grand Automaton Polpox (this looks like a square red box with a small box on it which keeps turning and has a bunch of blue headlights), who is now running the planet like a dictator. To keep the population quiet, he organises games in some sort of Colosseum, where dinosaurs fight each other to the death. Despite this, there is a group called the Laffodites, led by a rebel leader called Briton, who plan to assassinate Polpox. The planet looks like an empty aquarium mostly, containing miniature versions of the Venus of Milo and stuff like that. For his games, Polpox needs new dinosaurs and other creatures, and that is where the second storyline comes in: the director, writer, composer and executive producer of the film stars as one of the very few human actors with lines in this film. He is the leader of a hunting party going to different planets to catch creatures for the fights. Unfortunately, the few lines he speaks, are being mumbled and almost inaudible for 90% of the time. His vinyl clad wife also speaks a few lines. All other text is uttered by aliens, and their voices are distorted so much, that subtitles are necessary to understand what they are saying. These subs appear randomly, sometimes they disappear quickly and sometimes they don't even appear in the first place. The aliens and dinosaurs are something to look out for: sock puppets covered in meal, clay and syrup groan and growl while doing nothing else than bobbing their heads and sometimes walking from left to right and back. You might wonder why Polpox needs new beasts because they never actually fight, let alone die. In most scenes there is some clumsy blue screen editing involved. Every scene begins with a shot containing pictures of what is about to happen. You really have to see this to believe it. There is no real ending to the story, the director explains in the interview that this was supposed to be the pilot for a TV series. This interview is a must see btw, the director explains that he aimed for something inbetween Star Wars and Jurassic Park. He must be either extremely dry humoured, or flat out insane. Highly recommended for bad moviefans!

Author:  Slayer [ Sun Mar 04, 2018 8:31 pm ]
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A movie from another B-movie box called "Drenched in Blood":

Goregoyles - an anthology with two stories, one taking about an hour and the other one half that time. The wraparound is not really a story, it's just a metal/horrorfan acting crazy and uninteresting: he talks a bit about the films but the film could have done without it. The first story, "Holy Terror", is about a guy who finds out that he is possessed, and the demon inside him kills people who want to get him out of the human body. Both the chrch and a satnic cult are now after him, for different reasons of course. The church wants him dead, the cult wants him to deliver the new leader of the antichristian world (or something like that, predictable to the detail in any case). There is loads of gore so that's great. Everything else is medicore though, and the sound is terrible: almost throughout the film there is a humming sound in the background that sometimes grows to terror levels, so much so that you can't hear the dialogue properly anymore, very annoying. The second story, "Berzerkers", is about an ancient Viking demon who commands the undead and when a family is stranded in the wods because their car broke down, the undead feast upon them. They leave the young boy alive, and that is with a purpose... OK flick, zombies looked a bit meh and the story was hilariously improbable, but overall it was OK enough. Bad moviefans might like this, but it pales in comparison to what I saw yesterday.

Author:  Slayer [ Sat Mar 10, 2018 6:19 pm ]
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Devil's Moon - another one from the Drenched in Blood box. This one starts out as a thriller with a serial killer treating his first victim. After she has died, he goes after her sister, who ends up running away from him together with the guy she just fired that morning. They team up with a jogger who just happened to pass by and in the woods they stumble upon a bunch of rednecks and on a small group of devil worshiping girls who were doing some sort of a seance. In this seance they summoned a demon who now starts possessing everyone. The storyline becomes a bit of a mess by this time, and what happened to the serial killer remains a mystery to me (maybe I simply missed it). Gore is nice, and Trent Haaga overacts a redneck in a somewhat funny way, but overall this is not a movie that I would recommend to anyone, maybe bad moviefans can have some fun with it (for example with the fake beard), but there are "better" ones out there for sure.

Author:  Slayer [ Sun Mar 11, 2018 5:47 pm ]
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In The Eye of the Hurricane - aka El ojo del huracán aka La volpe dalla coda di velluto. Spanish/Italian giallo from 1971 with a lot of "the good atmosphere". Michel and Ruth have a troublesome marriage so Ruth wants to break up, especially since she met a new guy named Paul, who is everything she ever looked for in a man. Paul and her go to the seaside for some vacation, and they make drives in the countryside and go diving in the sea. One day, the brakes of the car stop working and Ruth barely escapes death. The next day, her diving equipment is faulty, and she almost suffocates. When Michel suddenly turns up at the beachhouse, it reinforces her suspicions towards him, but did he really do it? Or is there a devilish scheme at play? Very nice storyline, with the (un)expected twists in it. It had been a while since I saw a giallo, so this one surprised me again. In a lot of comments on this fil m I read that it was sleazy, but the nudity was not overdone and in several scenes it is even obstructed by objects or vegetation, so while it might not be superclassy, I don't think it;s very sleazy either (for example The Sister of Ursula was a lot sleazier imo). Acting is great, music is nice and like I already said atmosphere is superb in this one. I had a good time watching it, recommended for giallo and/or Italo fans.

Author:  Slayer [ Fri Mar 16, 2018 11:21 pm ]
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Victor Crowley - sequel in the Hatchet franchise. Andrew Yong, the sole survivor from part three, has written a book on his experiences with Victor Crowley and the Honey Island swamp. He is now touring around giving interviews in TV shows (among which the Sabrina show, the production around his ex-wife) and signing autographs. When his agent gets a superb offer for an interview on location in the swamp, Andrew resists but finally falls for the money. In the meantime a crew of three students and one tourguide trying to be an actor go to the swamp to make yet another horrormovie on Crowley. They hear a plane crash and it's the private jet with Andrew, Sabrina and others. Now they have to survive the night and of course, Crowley reappears... Although this is quite OK and I did have fun watching this, this was the least film of them all until now. Acting was nice and there were some great gore effects, but I notice a slightly downward spiral, I feel I'm getting a bit tired of this series, and I sincerely hope they don't drag it for too long. It's a bit hard to do if you have seen the Hatchet films, but if you would watch this as an independent standalone, then it wouldn't even be so bad.

Author:  Slayer [ Sun Mar 18, 2018 3:50 pm ]
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Halloween Night - an unoriginal but still fulfilling slasher which obviously plays at Halloween. Ten years ago, Christopher Vale, a ten-year-old suffered a huge trauma by seeing his mom getting killed by criminals. He got his face burnt in the process and when we move to the present, we see him in a mental institute being mocked by the personnel there. He breaks out and coincidentally it is Hallowen again, just like on that fateful night ten years ago. A bit further away, David is planning THE best Halloween party ever, witha surprise act involving a guy whom only he knows and some fake cops. On their way to the party, some guests are meeting Christopher and he puts on the costume of one of them, with a mask hiding his burnt face. He is now visiting his old house, which, coincidentally, is the place where David is throwing the party. Of course this is gonna be a bloody mess. Like you can see, lots of coincidences, and some really stubborn stupidities added to that, can make a nice slasher like you expect them to be. Acting is mediocre, make up is on cool on Christopher and the ending is both stupid and cliche. So if you go in wanting something original, you will be disappointed. If you are in for some old school cliche slasher however, this is a safe pick.

Author:  Slayer [ Wed Mar 21, 2018 10:44 pm ]
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The Limehouse Golem - the title might make you think this is about the legendary monster from Prague, but it isn't. It's the nickname of a murderer roaming the streets of London in 1880, especially the part of the city called Limehouse. This means that this movie is not really a horror (although the murder victims are displayed in a gory way), but more a thriller. The whole thing has a Jack the Ripper-like atmosphere and it also strangely reminded me a bit of Silence of the Lambs. Acting is great and the story is nice, although I guessed the murderer rightway before the disclosure. Still, it's a very nicely shot film, with many little details which make it a lot better than an average production. I enjoyed this one, but don't expect a horrormovie, because then you might be disappointed.

Author:  Slayer [ Sat Mar 24, 2018 8:33 pm ]
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It Stains The Sands Red - a zombiefilm which tries to be original with limited means and in my opinion they succeed. There are no hordes of the undead slowly moving in on scared humans, but the main character, an (ex-)stripper named Molly, is being stalked by one very persevering zombie. Because the car she was in got stuck in the sand and her boyfriend got taken out by the zombie, she now is alone and needs to be at an airfield 36 miles away asap in order to catch the plane to Mexico. Walking through the desert is her only option, with the zombie always a little behind her. Where this film strays from the beaten path, is the character development of Molly, who transforms from a pathetic drug addict who dumped her baby into an empathic and fierce mother. Pretty interesting, a tad tearjerky at times, but I thought this was nicely done. The small cast does a good job at acting and the cinematography was nice too. I think most horrorfans will enjoy this, recommended.

Author:  ^Rogue^ [ Sat Mar 24, 2018 10:14 pm ]
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Pleasant surprise, that one. :rock:

Author:  Slayer [ Sun Mar 25, 2018 7:37 pm ]
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Satan's Sadists - this an Al Adamson film from the 60s adopted by Troma about a violent motorgang. There isn't much of a story, you just follow the gang, donning iron crosses and swastikas, terrorizing people along a desert highway in California. They rape, they rob and they kill people, but when they keep an ex-marine hostage things get a bit more complicated for them. In the gang there are several different characters, like a drug addict, a very violent one, the somewhat pholisophical yet rudeless leader and a woman who adores him. The acting is ok, some castmembers overdo it a bit. Atmosphere is typical 60s, feeling loose, highly tolerant towards illegal stuff, adventurous and experimental. This atmosphere is the strongpoint of the film, as there isn't much to the story like I said. I had fun, but I have seen better. If you are into 60s films, or if you like violent motorgang movies, then this is for you.

Author:  Slayer [ Sun Apr 01, 2018 12:21 am ]
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Headgame - a bunch of people are invited to a party and the next day they all wake up with a camera screwed tightly in their foreheads. Now they must play a game in which they have to escape a building through a door which will open if only one of them has survived. At first they cooperate but soon they start scheming and after a while the first death has occurred. Now they split into groups and are planning on how to get out alive, but the people who put them in this place can see everything through their headcameras, which makes things a tad more difficult. This was a very, very predictable film and therefore it was also disappointing. It had stuff from Cube, from Running Man, from Saw, from well, name a similar movie and you will know what this movie is gonna be like. Nothing new, nothing original. Sometimes that is OK, but this time it was boring. I suggest to skip it.

Author:  Slayer [ Sun Apr 01, 2018 4:16 pm ]
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Peelers - nice zombie/infected flick about a stripjoint on closing night: all strippers do their dance (there is some extreme stuff in this as well), and a bunch of Mexican miners enjoy their night out, as well as some other (sometimes rather strange) visitors. When one of the miners doesn't feel well, he goes tto the toilet, but he never comes back. Soon, the second miner needs to go and also doesn't return to the table. After the first kill is made, "Blue" Jean, the owner of the joint, notices something strange about the miners and soon her crew has to fight off the infected who seem to stop at nothing. Quite funny at times and also pretty gory, this film was easy to sit thriugh and I had a good time watching it. Acting and atmosphere are both OK and even though everything takes place in the same spot, it doesn't really get boring (a nice dose of nudity certainly helps in this department). This is also the first film I ever saw showing a kill by amniotic fluid! Recommended for fans of zombiefilms and horrorcomedy.

Author:  Slayer [ Fri Apr 06, 2018 7:35 pm ]
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Haunted - the 2017 film made by Italians. What I notice in Italia cinema lately, is that somehwre along the road they decided that dubbing was bad, and they all learned English and now all Italian films aiming at an international audience have actors who are trying to speak English. Yeah, trying. Because the pronunciation is horrible, to say the least. You have to listen hard to understand a part of what they are saying: it's so bad that it takes an effort really (not the gioal of entertainment like this, imo) and it distracts from following the plot comfortably. When a British character/actor showed up, I was actually relieved and fell back into my chair. All this makes my opinion on this movie a lot worse than when it would have been dubbed, so mplease Italian filmmakers, reconsider: dubbing might be old fashioned, but at least it sounded good! The plot itself is not very original, but it's an OK ghost story and it's ending was something I liked. I would have recommended it mildly, weren't it for the superbad English the cast is trying to utter. Better dub next time.

Author:  Slayer [ Sat Apr 07, 2018 3:44 pm ]
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Night of Something Strange - this is not your everyday zombiefilm, it aims at grossing you out with some very dirty things and make you laugh at some strange situations. A group of teens is going on Spring Break, but they don't know that some weird zombielike creatures are roaming the countryside since a janitor abused a body in a morgue and therefore got infected by a strange lust. Thase zombies don't want your brain, they want to have sex with you! So the teens have to fend for themselves and that goes better with some of them then with others. Loads of gore and dirty stuff, some funny jokes and a lot of teenage humour about sexrelated things make this a nice and brainless (literally, lol) piece of entertainment. I had fun, don't expect a masterpiece and you will be fine.

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