Plot: An evil sorcerer (Hsuan Chen) is out to take over the Martial world. We know he’s evil because he sports a cape and does the trademark villain’s laugh: head back, hands on hips, “Ah-ha-hah!” You know the score. Aided by a hopping vampire (Those not familiar with Chinese hopping vampires rent Mr. Vampire (1985) immediately) and a kung fu zombie, our fiend imprisons a rival sorcerer and his daughter inside clay jars, and proceeds to drain their essence. A courageous kung fu maiden (Yukari Oshima) sets out to rescue her father and sister, but not before tackling the, oddly sympathetic, vampire and his cute, vampire kids.

Oshima is one of the most gifted screen fighters of all time. Her spectacular legwork is a wonder to behold, but she’s only the supporting turn. The main star here is cult Taiwanese actress Lin Hsiao Lan, dubbed with a fey male voice, as the titular hero Kung Fu Wonderchild. Oshima’s maiden befriends the Wonderchild and his spell-slinging grandfather, at a Hogwart’s style school for mystical martial arts. The heroes, aided by a bumbling, comic relief duo, discover the supervillain is actually the school’s head teacher in disguise, and face an outlandish array of threats: talking skeletons, blond wigged henchmen, face huggers ripped off from Alien (1979), and a rather nifty, cell animated dragon, before the explosive finale.