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PostPosted: Mon Mar 29, 2004 12:31 am  Post subject: I just have to tell this it is so funny
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Buried In The Backyard
Joined: Thu Nov 06, 2003 4:05 pm
Posts: 28
A man escapes from a prison where he has been kept for 15 years. He
breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in
bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl
to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up and
goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy
is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time
in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If
he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do what he tells you, just give
him satisfaction, no matter how much he ravages you. This guy is probably
damned dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love
you".

To which the wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was
whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and
asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. I told him where to find it.
Be strong, honey. I love you, too."

:wacky:


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 29, 2004 12:44 am  Post subject:
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Joined: Sat Nov 02, 2002 1:35 am
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lol

thought that was going to be 'a guy walks into a bar' joke for a minute then

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 29, 2004 5:03 am  Post subject:
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The Ancient One
Joined: Sun Feb 23, 2003 10:03 am
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Location: Norway - Where the polar bears roam the streets
hey, that really happened to me! Who told you aboot it? :?

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 29, 2004 10:44 am  Post subject:
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Mummified In Barbed Wire
Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2004 6:34 pm
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yeah very good lol :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 29, 2004 11:20 am  Post subject:
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Blood Sucking Freak
Joined: Sun Dec 21, 2003 3:15 pm
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hehehe :lol: :lol:

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 29, 2004 7:08 pm  Post subject:
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The Devil, Probably
Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2002 3:07 am
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hehe, funny. i had heard something like that about navy people. a father was warning his daughter that her fiance had been in the navy on a ship for long voyages, with only other guys to have sex with. he said her new husband may be used to having sex a certain errr, way, so he may try to have sex with her errrrr, in an abnormal way.
and she said, 'i hope so, my bum really hurts.'

on a escaped prisoner funny thing, this is supposedly true, guy frequently escaped from his cell at night, snuck back into it. he had been doing it for quite a while until they found a bunch of taco bell wrappers. he was convicted of breaking out of prison, like multiple counts of it. he ended up doing 10 times more years in prison for breaking out, then breaking in, then his original conviction. like sentenced to 3 years, then getting 30years for breaking out and returning.

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 29, 2004 8:35 pm  Post subject:
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Joined: Fri Nov 22, 2002 4:30 pm
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:lol:

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 29, 2004 9:11 pm  Post subject:
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The Devil, Probably
Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2002 3:07 am
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hehehe, only in america.
though all the little times i spent in jail(not prison) i think they put like salt peter/hormone surpressants in the food. same thing in when i was in boot camp. i was used to having sex(yes, with a woman) like 1 or 2 times a day, then not at all. Being like 17 years old, i;m at the hieght of my sexual peak(more or less, so you women out there who havent had sex with me, err, yet, will never know how good i could have been), but in boot camp and jail, not even the slightest stirring in my little monkey, and i'm talking months at a time. maybe it is just cause (as far as i know) i could never look at another guy in a sexual way, or if it was something in the food. hell, even if i had to do 20 years in prison, with the band Hanson as my cellmates i doubt i could look at them in a sexual way. sure, maybe in a dominace thier my bitches sort of way, but nahh. i like women, they just have errrrr, better shapes? i couldnt put my finger on it(hehe, yes i could put my finger in it), i just cant think of sex with anything besides a woman. or some of the more evolved primates.(j/k).

errr, anybody else been locked up/military duty away from women and been like that? completely no sex urges?

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 30, 2004 1:35 am  Post subject:
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The Ancient One
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:lol:

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 30, 2004 4:36 am  Post subject:
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The Ancient One
Joined: Sun Feb 23, 2003 10:03 am
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Location: Norway - Where the polar bears roam the streets
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been like that? completely no sex urges?

only back when I was into drugs... =)

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