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Uwe Boll, (again - groan)
https://forum.dead-donkey.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=9837		 Page 1 of 3
Author:  potmunky [ Sun Oct 30, 2005 8:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Uwe Boll, (again - groan)
Hi all.
Just a bit of news for all you 'Boll-atics' out there...
:matrix: Yes, all two of you... :mrgreen:

I spotted this on Gorezone, earlier tonight...

** Uwe Boll mania continues!: Producer-director Uwe Boll has created a new distribution company, Event Film, which will release his $60 million IN THE NAME OF THE KING: A DUNGEAON SIEGE TALE in two separate parts says The Hollywood Reporter. This film adaptation of the video game stars Jason Statham, Ray Liotta and Leelee Sobieski. The parts are scheduled for wide release on November 3rd 2006 and December 1st 2006. Regarding the plans to release in two parts, Boll said it will be "a huge epic adventure, and to support the exhibitors who can't accept a movie so long, we decided to split the movie in half". (thanks to DarkHorizons.com)**

Sorry to all the Dungeon Siege fans out there, (including me :cry: ).
Guess this is going to be Bolls LOTR trilogy, then... :roll:
The mind boggles as to how this guy gets funding...

I especially liked; "to support the exhibitors who can't accept a movie so long, we decided to split the movie in half". What about the exhibitors with sense, who cant accept a movie so BAD, (probably)?...
Will he do us ALL a favour and burn all copies plus the negative?
Maybe even himself, while hes on?... :twisted: :eatthis:
We can hope...
Author:  emper0r [ Sun Oct 30, 2005 9:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh god.. when will this stop? :suicide:
I mean fuck, he has like another 4 movies also annouced.
Uwe Boll if you ever read this: FUCKING KILL YOURSELF! .
Oh i feel so much better.

~emper0r.
Author:  karstmobile [ Sun Oct 30, 2005 11:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
I voted :O for two reasons:

1. Without the bad, how could we judge good.
2. Slight chance that his films will become tomorrows well-aged entertaining crap.

:eatthis:
Author:  Knokk TuRnoo [ Mon Oct 31, 2005 1:31 am ]
Post subject: 
when does the man get his hhah sticky ??? :twisted: :o
Author:  potmunky [ Mon Oct 31, 2005 8:49 am ]
Post subject: 
Karst; Have you seen House Of The Dead!? Or Alone In The Dark!? These are not films that will become 'tomorrows well-aged entertaining crap'! :o
They could be shown in Film school to teach aspiring Directors how NOT to make a film! :mrgreen:
...Upon pain of death! :mrgreen:
Boll is to directing, what Keanu is to acting, imo...
Author:  potmunky [ Mon Oct 31, 2005 8:51 am ]
Post subject: 
Mind you. If he keeps releasing the amount of films hes got planned, surely the law of averages means he will eventually make at least ONE average film?!... Surely!?... :roll:
Author:  spudthedestroyer [ Mon Oct 31, 2005 4:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
nope, his films are getting substantially worse in the most part, and it requires a competant technical director to at least achieve average

As much as I don't like Paul Anderson, for example, as a director given his lousy track record, he did do Event Horizon which was actually quite enjoyable... so at least he can direct. its just his total inability to write that hinders him in my opinion. I think it was Terry Gilliam who said that its director's total inability to relinquish control of the project that means a lot of films suck, a good director needs to know when he needs a writer.

Uwe Bolls films are directorially a total shambles. Look at the slow motion, and total technical incompetance of action scenes, and all the rest for that matter.
Author:  grzEGOrz [ Mon Oct 31, 2005 7:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
let him live. I know that probably he's The Worst Director Ever, but comme on, it is still fun to watch his sheer and utter crap in complete disbelief - who the hell give him money to shoot it? besides, it's always a good gift for one's enemies :wacky: and you guys are such movie extremists and cannot stand Uwe? :mrgreen:

and once again - has anybody seen 'Amoklauf' by Mighty Uwe? if he is on continous downhill ride with his movies, his early ones might be actually quite bearable :twisted:
Author:  potmunky [ Mon Oct 31, 2005 9:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
Not heard of 'Amoklauf', (not too hot on my German either-wots the title mean?).
I will say this, tho; Directors generally get better once outta art school, then, (usually as they hit their middle-age), they often seem to go downhill. From where Uwe Boll stands on the 'Directorial Slope to Annonimity', Id say his peak was reached when he was only Two years old, and he can only be another short-film away from entering Hades Itself! :twisted: ...
Sayin that; He does get the conversational juices flowing round these parts. :wacky: Unfortunately, for all the wrong reasons...
Author:  karstmobile [ Wed Nov 02, 2005 12:49 am ]
Post subject: 
potmunky wrote:
Karst; Have you seen House Of The Dead!? Or Alone In The Dark!? These are not films that will become 'tomorrows well-aged entertaining crap'! :o...


I did say slight. :lol:

Never know... could be a big geek society all about some Boll in the not so distant future... :outsider:
Author:  potmunky [ Wed Nov 02, 2005 1:11 am ]
Post subject: 
karstmobile wrote:
Never know... could be a big geek society all about some Boll in the not so distant future... :outsider:

OH GOD NO! :o
Ive got a two year old Son, who Id hoped would grow up in a Boll-Free world. :cry:
How do I tell him that it was our generation that made Boll the God that he, probably, always was!? :suicide:
Destiny...
Thats what I'll blame.
That and the price of oil...:cussing:
And cinema tickets :wink:
Author:  anti-pop [ Mon Nov 07, 2005 8:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
Something I will never understand is this:

How the fuck does uwe boll (or his agent or the mafia or whoever) convince somehow "A list" actors (Ray Liotta, Michael Madsen, Udo Kier, Burt Reynolds etc.) to act in his "movies" ?

Drugs ? Blackmail ? (does he have pictures of studio executives getting banged by a poney ?) or maybe....

Image
Author:  Geezus [ Mon Nov 07, 2005 8:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh come on - This guy deserves to become somone's avatar : :mrgreen:

Image
Author:  potmunky [ Tue Nov 08, 2005 12:07 am ]
Post subject: 
ZOIKS!!! :o
What small hands you have, my dear :wacky:
Looks as tho he should be a porn-director...
Author:  spudthedestroyer [ Tue Nov 08, 2005 12:20 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
How the fuck does uwe boll (or his agent or the mafia or whoever) convince somehow "A list" actors (Ray Liotta, Michael Madsen, Udo Kier, Burt Reynolds etc.) to act in his "movies" ?


lol, none of them are A list actors by a long shot (i noticed the stealthy quotes so i guess you know that anyway :lol:)...

Lets face it, all those actors do any old shit going these days, even if some of them do normally put on a good show. its no more surprising any of them are in uwe boll movies than Christian Slater was in one.

"I did it all for the money... all for the money...."

Image

HYPNO-TOAD!
Author:  potmunky [ Wed Nov 09, 2005 10:17 am ]
Post subject: 
Such a shame, teh way Slater has thrown his carreer down the bog :cry:
I LOVED him in Cuffs... :lol:
Author:  PC_Arcade [ Wed Nov 09, 2005 10:21 am ]
Post subject: 
Kuffs :o

If you'd said heathers I'd have agreed, but KUFFS??!!
Author:  potmunky [ Wed Nov 09, 2005 10:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
No, I deffo made him wear Cuffs... :wink:
Author:  manofwar [ Wed Nov 16, 2005 1:55 am ]
Post subject: 
I voted "let him live" because, though i agree he makes total crap, sometimes i like watching total crap, you know? i'm one for extremes.
Author:  spudthedestroyer [ Wed Nov 16, 2005 4:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
for me it not such much total crap, i can live with that, its insulting and just terrible. Its not like a bad b-movie bad, i have no problems with that as long as it doesn't pretend to be anything other than what it is.

However, his movies are more like titanic bad, just plain shit and unwatchable. I like watching crap too sometimes, but i don't like watching unwatchable movies.
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