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PostPosted: Thu Dec 05, 2019 7:02 pm  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2019 1:45 am  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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TaKYoN wrote:
Haven't been here for years, can't believe some of you are still here. Any other old members still around?

Hey Tak! How ya doin'?

Me I'm still teaching history and watching movies, the latter just not as regular as I used to. I'm a bit behind on reviews, so here goes:

Mayhem - Glenn from The Walking Dead plays a career guy who wants to climb the ladder in his company, only to find out that he is becoming a worse and worse person. A virus has broken out, and it makes people superaggressive. One of the infected killed a bunch of people but in court he was declared unaccountable because of the disease. So when the virus hits the company building, the guy sees his chance to set things straight among the corporate dinosaurs. Funny and pretty gory film, because of the infection I had it filed under /zombies, but this is not a zombiefilm at all. It's more a very bloody comedy which you will like that extra bit if you are also fed up with too rich people just treating normal persons lke pawns on a chessboard, ruining lives left and right. I had good fun watching this, recommended.

Passi di morte perduti nel buio - aka Death Steps in the Dark. Classic giallo by Maurizio Pradeaux, of whom I didn't see any movie yet to my knowledge. It starts out as a rip-off of Murder on the Orient Express, with a woman being sliced in a train. Then the police investigation starts and the prime suspect, a photographer who keeps saying he didn't do it, starts his own investigation on the side to find the killer so he doesn't get arrested for the murder himself. In the meantime, the killer is being blackmailed because a pair of gloves was dropped in the train and someone is trying to extort the killer with it. This leads to more deaths so the police, and the photographer both get in a hurry. Nice giallo, with a classic killer with gloves, a hat, a long coat and a razorblade. The Swedish girlfriend of the photographer is an annoying character though, she must be the comic relief or something, but she is so superdumb that it's a mircale she knows how to breathe. Agonising to watch, but apart from that this is a nice film, I'm gonna check out his other giallos and hope they are without "comic frelief" Recommended for giallo /Italo fans.

The Gate II - I hadn't seen The Gate in a long while, so I didn't remember much of it. This one is a late 80s early 90s sequel, which has all the ingredients of a cheesy 80s teen horror movie, with some Charles Band-like demon puppetry. Story is simple, sfx are laughable and the characters are onedimensional. It wasn't superinteresting, but I still had fun because it was screaming 80s B-horror so hard. There is actually not a lot to tell about this film, except that it is pretty predictable and it has a supercheesy ending which kind of ruined the plot for me. Might be fun in a back to back session with The Gate, a bunch of friends, lots of beer and some other good stuff.

Elfie Hopkins - a teen drama about a girl wanting to leave the boring village she lives in but she can't because she is trying to handle the death of her mother, who died a few years back. She is friends with a tech nerd Dylan Parker who would like to go to university but is being held back by personal interests. Elfie and Dylan waste their time doing little investigations about the lives of their fellow villagers. One day they get new neighbours, the Gammons, and they seem a bit weird, but after the housewarming Elfie and Dylan conclude they are nice people. Because strange things start to happen, they begin an investigation on the Gammons anyway and they find out more than is good for them. Nice plot, it's kind of obvious there is something going on with that family, but it takes quite a while until it is revealed. I was quite close with my prediction and the charcaters play it out in a pretty cool way. The final half hour is the most interesting part of the film, the build up to it is actually taking a bit too long, and the final showdown is over pretty fast. But because the acting is OK, the setting is nice and there is some nice gore that is not extremely problematic. Since I have see so much rubbish from the UK in the past year, this was a nice change of pace.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2019 10:02 pm  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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Some wholesome family xmas movies there :D

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 25, 2019 12:21 am  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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Actually I'm out of Xmas horror movies, I watched all 12 of them. So just regular horror and scifi this year, I guess.

The Landlord - a movie which resembles the Troma style a lot, and it has a lot going on within it's timeframe. It's about Tyler, a guy renting out apartments, welcoming new tenants almost every other day. Why? Because the demons in the apartment keep killing off the new inhabitants. These demons, adorned with cheap masks and clay/paint are making Tyler's life miserable, because he has to clean up all the time and keep out of the hands of the police. His sister in the meantime, is a cop who is having an affair with her partner, with whom she also made a deal with other demons: they can kill and eat degenerates and the cops will get the valuables they leave behind. This has little/nothing to do with the plot about the apartment, but it's fun: in the main plot there is actually a nice twist/reveal near the end which was quite good (I guessed it, but still: nice move). The gore is cheap, the kills plenty and the ending is OKish. If you like Troma, you will enjoy this, if not, pls consider this is not a very high budget production. I had fun, that's for sure.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 26, 2019 11:07 pm  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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Sssssss - remember The A-Team? Remember that guy "Face", who was always scoring the cutest girls (or as cute as they came in the 80s)? Always felt something vengeful towards him? Then this is the film to watch! This will take away all your traumas of Face showing up in your nightmares stealing your girlfriend! The story is like this: a scientist specialized in snake's venom visits a university where he meets David (Dirk Benedict, aka "Face"), who becomes his lab assistant. In the lab the doctor inoculates David, to make him immune to snakebites, at least, that's what he says. In reality, this is all a cunning plan to make a snakeman, a snake with the brains of a man! All this because of course the humans are destroying the planet and the coldblooded animals will take over. Sure. The doctor loses it and David too, because he is actually in love with the doctor's daughter (see, there is Face again!) but alas, he gets inoculated a little too often. In between there is a snkaeshow with the doctor grabbing a King Cobra, and a visit to a carnival where there already is a snakeman, so David knows what's in store for him. Effects are simple, the changes to Davids body are below par, but at least you get to see them. The film is also a bit long, could have done with 20-30 minutes less. Nothing really shocking, no actual scares, a minimum of gore because all the kills are made by snakebites. So you might wanna skip this one, unless of course you have a trauma like described above. Speaking of which: I realize I wrote the beginning of this review a little too well, but don't worry, I'm not a traumacase myself ;)

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 28, 2019 6:31 pm  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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The Dweller - the second film on the "Sleazy Slashers" box. This film, a little over one hour long, is a film full of nothing. The story is about three bankrobbers making their escape, they end up in the woods where their car breaks down so they hide in a vacant cabin. Ther are several random characters who get watched by some invisible monster. When this "monster" appears, jittery white lines go across the screen to indicate the monster's presence. It doesn't get any lamer than that in low buidget cinema, I'd say. Two of the bankrobbers are brothers, so conveniently they can be played by the Polonia brothers, the creators of this piece of sh*t. The monster's view is pink, there are some characters who do get viewed but not killed by the monster, one character is purely in the film because she has big boobs, as her character doesn't add to the plot at all, not even in the slightest way. Very low budget crap, so you have to prepare your mind for this vast hole of emptiness and then you might survive watching this.

Had some friends over the other day for a filmnight, we watched three films:

Eternal Evil - a film about the phenomenon of astral projection. The sleeve of this DVD is misleading to say the least: it has several thjigns wrong about the film. The film is in reality 85, not 97 minutes as it says on the sleeve, and it's from 1985 not 1977. Funny thing is we all got a huge 80s vibe while watching it, so that made us look it up and thus we found out about the wrong info on the sleeve. The story is about a director of comercials who used to make films but can't do that anymore. He has a friend, played by Karen Black, and she teaches him about astral projection. He is fascinated by the subject, and also enthusiastic about the feeling of an out-of-body experience. After he has walked out on his shrink, the next day he finds out that the shrink died a gruesome death. Shortly after, his father-in-law meets a similar fate. The police, triying to connect the dots, ends up suspecting him. The film is more a thriller with some supernatural aspects than a horrormovie, the gore is at a minimum. Actually it was not so superbad, I mean, I have seen way worse. The ending was quite cool even. I wouldn't really recommend it, because it is'nt very good or surprisjng or anything like that, but it was an OK watch and as long as you don't expect lots of gore, monsters or anything you'll be good.

Blood Red Planet - another Polonia brothers film, this time in space. On a low budget spaceship, the Omega 1, a crew is trying to find out what happened to the crew of a spaceship that went to Mars before them. They communicate with a base on earth, there is also a base on Mars, which looks suspiciously like a shoebox with ornaments. When this crew doesn't return, the Omega 2, which looks suspiciously like the Omega 1, is sent to search for this crew. The spaceship has a computer, KAL, which can answer all questions, but is in reality a slide projector. The guns are made of toy telescopes and empty cleaning agent bottles, they also have "tanks" which are drinking bottles upside down strapped to the back of the person carryig the weapon. Most of the time you see the crewmembers in a superclose close up shot, so you don't get to see much of the "spaceship" they are in. The monsters in this film are on one hand a cleaning glove with clay on it and on the other hand a sockpuppet which looks superb. That one is so supercool that you almost forget about how boring the scenes inside the spaceship are. The effects are supercheap, the cast has some familiar faces if you hve seen other Polonia films, and you can have some great laughs with this one. Highly recommended for bad moviefans!

The Laughing Dead - some god from Mexico demands child sacrifices, so from time to time it's earthly inions kidnap, or buy children from villages in the surroundings in order to keep the god happy. A priest from the US, who knocked up a nun in the past, is leading a group of tourists to Mexico, to see some archaeological diggings. In the group are some dandy guys, some new age college kids and coincidentally also the (now ex-)nun with her son Ivan. Upon arrival in Mexico, they end up in a hotel Todos Santos, aptly named becasue it's also the All Saints / All Souls festival. The rpeiest gets called to perofrm an exocism, but instead he gets possessed by an ancient god who switches hearts with him (just like that, she grabs his and puts her own ripped out heart inside his body). When Ivan gets kidnapped for a scarifice, he must fight the gods in order to save his sona dn stay alive at the same time. The endfight is great: it has ancient Mexican customs, a ballgame, dinosaur-like creatures and zombies. In this film they don't care much for any accuracy when it comes to indigenous beliefs of Mexico: Aztec, Maya and Inca stuff gets mixed up and the indigenous ballgame is just played like regular basketball, ouch. If you don't know anything about Meso-American culture this will not bother you very much I suppose, and then you can have lots of fun with this film, especially with the final scenes. Recommended for bad moviefans.

After my friends left, I watched one more:

Backwoods - the third film from the "Sleazy Slashers" box I watched. Another fine example of how you can fill lots of celluloid without ever making a film. This crap is about a redneck woman getting knoced up and giving birth to a giant baby, called Luther. One day the woman is hit by a truck full of collegekids who are out for some camping in the woods. Luther gets mad and starts killing everyone, not just the kids in the truck, but also other people who just happen to be in the surroundings. Both the woman and Luther are played by men, and Luther dresses up as his mother while he is doing the killing. Add some gore and some random shots of a guy with his penis between his legs so it seems like he doesn't have one (they call it the "Mangina") and the you have this product. In order to keep some of your sanity I advise you to watch this either with friends, or with a substabtial amount of booze/other funny stuff in your body.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 30, 2019 12:47 am  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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The Dinosaur Chronicles - like Blood Red Planet, this flm is on the "Galaxy of Terror" box, and like the "Sleazy Slasher" box, it contains Polonia brothers films. I found out that it's healthy to not watch more than two Polonia brothers films on consecutive days. This film contains some stock footage from stop motion dinosaurs, and the fragments are shown more than once, one even three times. The story is about two brothers (again) who go on a cruise with a friend who just won a lottery and now is a millionaire. The ship ends up in a storm and they get blown overbaord ending up on an island which is inhabited by dinosaurs of various kinds: the pterodactyl is attached to a kite, which is visible in at least one shot. The Tyrannosaurus is in stock footage, jut like the Allosaurus. The Triceratops is both in stock footage and in a handpuppet version, and at least in two different shots you can see the hand directing the handpuppet. The three guys end up near a river, which looks suspiciously like the river rom The Dweller, so they went from the Caribbean to the border of Canada in the NW of the US in one go, cool. After runnig around for a while, they jump into a swimming pool and end up on the boat again. Only for bad moviefans and beware, take only a few of these movies in a week or your brain might die off.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 30, 2019 4:49 pm  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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Dreamaniac - seeing the cover I expected a slasher, but reading the backside it looked more like a spirit killing people, so the killer was a ghost or a demon in human form. In the opening credits I saw it was a David DeCOteau film and I wouldn't have imagined being relieved to see that one day, but after the Polonia brothers DeCoteau is Oscar worthy for sure. In a heavy 80s vibe, Adam is doing some sort of conjuring and Lily, a foxy lady, shows up seducing him. She also crashes the party when Adam's sister is throwing one for her sorority, and one by one the guys and girls who attend the party meet a bloody demise. Standing up to this force of evil is Adam's girlfriend, will she be able to save the day or will everyone succumb to the powers of Lily? Acting is so so, gore is OK and the ending is a big letdown, it's so stupid that you don't know whether to laugh or cry. Fortunately, the kills and the music make up for this stupidity, and overall this is quite an OK low budget 80s horrorflick. For bad moviefans: watch for the shadow of the guy filming the scene ;)

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 20, 2020 12:29 am  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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Totally forgot to post what I watched in the new year so far, so here goes:


Zonetroopers - this is a movie which seemed to be a kids movie to me: a group of American soldiers in Italy 1944 sets out on a mission where they accidentally find an alien spacecraft which crashed into earth. One of the crewmembers has been kidnapped by the SS and the Americans set out to liberate the alien and obliterate the SS in the area and of course both things work out OK. Funny sfx, weaponry is quite OK, although one of the Americans carries around an M1919 on his own and the SS drives around in American halftracks. Adorable at times, this might not be for hardcore horrorfans, but bad movuefans might have a nice time watching this.

Beware! Children at Play - kids keep going missing in a rural area of the States, and when an old friend of the local sheriff, whose daughter has been missing for a while too, visits the town, things get ugly. He is an author and he invites the powers of a mindreader, but she gets killed by the missing kids: it turns out they hold up in the woods iunder the leadership of one of them who believes he is Beowulf. It's now up to the sheriff and his friend to end this charade of terrorising kids, but they have a deeply religious man as an opponent, who is hellbent of exterminating the "demons" that are possessing the local children. Shocking endscene, especially because it's so unnecessary storywise, I mean, it's really useless what the characters are doing there and therefore it kicks in extra hard. Apart from the endscene this is a rather boring film, but since the endscene is so drastic, you won't forget this one.

Night Thirst - another Polonia bros film, from the "Sleazy Slashers" box. Nothing slasher about this one, an anthology with stories about a woman applying for a job which is actually being food for a monster, a nurse meeting  undead people in the halls of a hospital, a killer dressed as Santa Clause killing off an angry dad and the woman he has an affair with, and one about a guy wanting to take pictures in "The Black Forest" which is ifngested with badly dressed up demons and monsters. The Polonia Brothers apparently found a new feature in their film editing software because we get to see yellow stickers with info all over the screen in this film. The effects are bad again, the people dressed up as monsters look like shit. The gore is OKish, but the stories don't make sense at all and the wraparound is cringe. I survived another Polonia creature, I'd say. Only for hardcore bad moviefans.

The Dinosaur Hunter - bought this one blindly based on the Red Letter Media video, but it turns out this isn't a horror nor a scifi. It's a nice adventure starring Christopher Plummer as a bad guy. Watch it with kids who are into dinosaurs/palaeontology.

Corpsing - a zombielike creature tells a story to a guy. She is one of the main characters herself, she is a scientist trying to bring back life to corpses, so she is aptly named Shelly. The story is pretty boring, it's the gore that saves it from 100% oblivion. The ending is the only nice scene in the film, which tries to shock with sexscenes featuring both the scientist and the now living corpse. Very forgettable, but it can be worse.

Preylien: Alien Predators - the desire to free myself from watching Polonia Brothers crap won it from my rational approach, so I watched this curiosity. This is not a film, these are just shots featuring Polonia regulars and by that I mean both actors and monsters, who have all appeared in other Polonia "films". This takes the cake, though. There is no sound except for the same 44 seconds long electronic track playing over and over and over again. Really brainkilling stuff, this. So no dialogue, just random imagery (some blatant copy paste from other Polonia productions) with this annoying soundtrack, lasting for over an hour. Avoid like the plague, this isn't even funny anymore for bad moviefans. I sincerely hope I forget about this soon, what a complete waste of everything.

Aquanoids - cliche monsterflick with the default ingredients: hot chick(s), monster killing people, mayor who doesn't wanna shut down the beach because he is planning to build a mall, reporter trying to find out what's going on, nobody believes the people who saw the monster, more people die, etc. etc. What makes this one stand out in the bad sense is that the mayor and his crony don't hesitate to kill people who are a danger for the planned shopping mall, kind of extreme. There is also some nice bad moviestuff in this: superugly cgi explosions, an aquanoid/human babycreature, a scene in which a guy gets wounded in a fight with the aquanoid and the first thing the girl does is to cheer at the death of the monster instead of asking how this badly torn up man is, two scenes with a visible boom mic, several refelction scenes, etc. Gore is nice and plenty, the story predicts itself. Nice food for bad moviefans.

5ive Girls - normal spelling is Five Girls of course. The girls from the title are being sent to a boarding school where they get a religious schooling. All girls are misfits: they have trouble with drugs, the law, etc. and they all have a special 'gift', some supernatural power. When they find out that the building houses more than just them, the teacher and the head mistress, they try to find out what's going on. They learn that in the past, a girl disappeared from the school, and that some demonic powers are being summoned to maybe get her back to this world. Also, the fact that they are five girls, is no coincidence... OK acting, nice atmosphere.I liked Ron Perlman best for his performance, and Jordan Madley for her looks and the character she played (very un believable that she was supposed to be a teenager though, lol). Very little sfx needed, so no f*ck ups there. Not a very bad mvoie but also not a very good one, it's an OK watch that you can pass your evening with nicely.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 26, 2020 1:05 am  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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Disco Godfather - Tucker Williams is an ex-cop running a club, giving people a good time dancing on disco, but when his nephew is going down on angel dust, he swears he is gonna get the guy behind it. Lots of fighting ensues as Tucker closes in on the big gangster who is producing and selling the stuff to kids around the town of LA. Music is disco as you might expect, the fights are hilarious: one punch and the victim is bleeding like no tomorrow. Some nice stuff for bad moviefans, like the endfight at the angel dust factory, where Tucker is fighting the bad guys one by one, when a guy comes along who says "Hey do you need help?"and Tucker replies"Yes, this is an angel dust factory!" and then the guy just joins in on the fight and conveniently there are now pairs of bad guys to fight against. Overall acting is pretty mediocre at best, the white guys are bad actors especially. So if you like blaxploitation, or are in for some nice bad actiobflick, pick this one.

Flesh Feast - this "film" is ridiculously bad to the point where I am hesitating to recommend this to bad moviefans. The story is about a secret experiment carried out in a remote laboratory by a doctor called Elaine Frederick, played by Veronica Lake. A journalist trying to uncover the experiment is murdered, so new men are sent in to check it out. As a spy, they use a woman who got hired as a nurse in the remote lab. The experiment, as it turns out, is about becoming young again by use of maggots, and about halfway through the lab is raided by criminals who want to seize the results of the experiment to revive Hitler. Once they got it done, the doctor reveals herself as the dfaughte rof a concentration camp bictim and she takes her personal revenge out on the revived Adolf Hityler. The end. Ridiculous, eh? Yes indeed! And then you haven't seen how long drawn, dreadful and tedious the performance of this movie is, with actors being wooden in their best moments. There is no suspense, no tension, no gore and no special effects. So instead of watching this film, just read this review and enjoy the pictiure of Veronica Lake below, fromt he time before she got so washed up that she had to act is crap like this film. Oh, before I forget: there is a monster on the cover that is not in the film, at all.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 31, 2020 2:03 pm  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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The Weapon - the last movie on the Galaxy of Terror box and I think it's the best one, or the least bad one at least. It's about a planet where everyone has to be conservative with water, as there is a very limited supply of it. Deep down below the city lies buried "the weapon": is it a danger or the solution to the water shortage? Subversive groups and a spacecraft crew all search for it, what will happen when it's found? Acting is quite ok, there are no monsters in this one, the sfx are pretty bad: the flying machines look very "cut out". Overall this was obviously a B-flick, but it tries to achieve something and it deserves some praise for that. Bad moviefans can have fun with it, but there are "better" films out there.

Seizure - this is an early Oliver Stone film, actually his first full length feature. The story is about a group of friends getting together at the countryside house of an author who is working on a horrorstory for kids. When some of the characters he made up show themselves for real in the house, the get-together turns ugly: a dwarf, a giant and a witch-like figure play games with them in which the loser dies at the end. There are running contests, fights to the death, etc. The witch looks best, the dwarf is the most dangerous one. Atmosphere is always cool, acting is ok and how the plot turns out is quite well done, even though I saw it coming from miles away. Nice movie, nothing very special.

I Dismember Mama - Albert is a disturbed guy in a mental hospital. He thinks women are depraved, so he kills them regularly. After he assaulted a nurse, he is set to be transferred to State Hospital, but he escapes and starts to act out his violent nature on several people. He starts a special friendship with a little girl, whom he sees as pure and unspoiled but he is in trouble because the police is after him about the murders. With the help of his mom, whom he wants to kill too, the police tries to close in on Albert, but he still has control over the little girl... Slasher which is not run of the mill, mostly because of the character of Albert, who is a psychopath trying to create the ideal world for himself. The doctor was kind of whimpy, the mother in denial. Acting was OKish, the police detective overdid it, though. Although the plot is not superstandard, the movie itself is not very groundbreaking. I don't think I'd recommend it to other people than hardcore slasherfans.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 05, 2020 9:21 pm  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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The Violent Kind - a party of a bikergang in a remote house turns dark when late at night everyone leaves and the people who remain find out that there is no cell phone reception, the car broke down and the one person who returned after she left is a bloodthirsty animal now. The bikers have to try and defend themselves from some supernatural force and get away from the remote house if they can. This brings the inevitable internal tensions, and the question of course is who will make it out alive? Acting is quite good in this one, I thought that the Cody character was kind of weak (maybe a miscast?), but all others were strong performances and well cast actors/actresses. Atmosphere was OK, it didn't feel very creepy though. When it turns out what "the enemy" is, you just wait for the next person to die. Effects were good, the best part of this film was actually the fact that there were some twists that you won't expect really. Good fun, recommended.

The Alien That Stole Our Beer - a Dutch film made among friends. As you might derive from the title, it's not a very serious movie. It has corny jokes but also some good ones in it, like the guy who is afrid of water and then goes into therapy for it: his therapist recommends him a pond in the garden so he can get used to water. His friends tell him not to worry, because what could ever happen in such a small pond? Of course he almost gets drowned in the pond in a fight with the alien later. Effects are bad, acting is below average but it was a funny movie, I liked it. It was a bonus feature on a disc with a film of 18 minutes runtime, while this one lasted for an hour, I liked that too. Only for bad moviefans and oh, you have to understand Dutch for it.

Robotghost - this was the main feature on the disc, and this one does have English subs. The story is about a couple who receive a household robot which goes berserk and gets the command "kill all humans" (because, you know, all household robots have such a command). More corny jokes, less good ones in my opinion, effects were laughable and this one is really only for bad moviefans. I'm glad I watched the alien film first, it felt like the better order.

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 10, 2020 1:37 am  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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555 - aka Five Five Five. Very B-movie like slasher, where a man dressed up as a hippie murders couples who are "doing it". The police is in the dark and when they finally get a witness they suspect him to be the killer. In the meantime a female journalist who goes far for a scoop tries to find out more than the police can up to that point. Acting is pretty bad, effects are bad too (all murders happen in the dark and partially offscreen) and there are some nice bad moviefan moments when the boom mic is visible: not the mic this time, but the boom, cool. Overall quite bad, even the bad moviefan will need some stamina  for this.

Camel Spiders - Brian Krause is a captain in the US Army, fighting some mujahedin in a country which doesn't get mentioned any further. The mujahedin are dressed quite casually: sweatpants, sneakers, etc. quite weird for mujahedin if you ask me. They get taken out by large cgi spiders and of course they take the chance to get shipped back to the US, in a bodybag no less. Back in the States they wreck havoc on the locals, screaming loudly when attacking and jumping on their victims. Of course Captain Krause is there to save the day. Cliche, bad cgi, a group of mixed personalisties who will clash even if there are no spiders, this flick has it all. Only to watch away with some beers, preferably with friends.

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 15, 2020 4:53 pm  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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The Gorgon - nice Hammer horror from the 60s, with the Lee/Cushing combo. It has everything you expect from a movie like this, and like you might have understood from my previous reviews on Hammer films, atmosphere is about the best. Acting is great too, you can really get into the story, even though the Gorgon effects are rather poor. The story in short is about a Gorgon (one of the three sisters of whom Medusa is the most well known one) getting her spirit into a psychiatric patient who after having been cured roams freely to turn people into stone. Recommended for fans of classic horror, bad moviefans better pick a different film.

Totem - Charles Band film which runs for 68 minutes, of which the first four and a hlaf are opening credits and the last five and a half are closing credits, leaving you with barely one hour of film and they still managed to make it quite boring, now that's an achievement! On the cover we see a busty babe harassed by small demonic creatures, and even though you get to see glimpses of the creatures, they are invisible most of the time. The babe isn't even in the film! So what DO you get to see? Six youngsters in a cabin, trying to break a centuries old ritual in which three of them will be killers and the other three will be victims. Lots of tedious talking, short sequences of action and the kills are all off screen. The "possession" is very relative, as it seems rather easy to get out of, someone else just has to shout that "the real you is still somewhere in there" and bam, there we go: no more killings. Nice! Very little gore, the creatures are obviously on threads and the makeup is meagre. Bad moviefans might have fun, but beware it is more boring than funny.

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 16, 2020 6:00 pm  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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Caged Women - aka Barn of the Naked Dead. The first title is better, as there are no "dead" in this film as in zombies or anything. On imdb it's listed as "Terror Circus", which is OK, but Caged Women is more to the point of what you get to see in the film. When three girls on their way to LA get car trouble in the middle of the desert, they are forced to spend the night in their car. The next morning,m they get woken up by a guy who offers his help, but inf act kidnaps them and puts them in chains in na barn where already several other women are being held. Andre, the guy who runs the barn, imagines he is the director of a circus, which has the women as an attraction, and also a cougar (a real one, the feline animal). Andre obviously has some mother problems, and the women are the substitute for her. He deserves to have them because he captured them, so he thinks. From time to time a woman tries to escape but Andre has his means to prevent such a thing from happening. Things get tense when the agent of the three girls starts looking for them. Weird film, a bit horror, a bit exploitation. On one hand this film seems strange, on the other hand there are films such as Texas Chainsaw Massacre who are touching on the same subject albeit with a different angle. I thought it might become an uneasy experience to watch this, but it wasn't so very bad: I have seen films which made me more uncomfortable. Bad moviefans might enjoy this, and exploitation fans will too.

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 22, 2020 12:17 am  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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Deliverance - not a horrormovie, but horrorfans might be interested in this film anyway. It has some rednecksploitation, and there is one out of the ordinary scene, the one "on the riverbank". It doesn't have anything supernatural though and the gore is little. This film aims at a diferent audience but like I said: yuou might still be interested. The story is about four friends going on one last canoe trip down a river, before it gets swallowed by the lake that's gonna be formed there by a newly built dam. They hire some locals to move their cars, one of the friends has a guitar vs banjo duet with a local boy and after this has finished they are off into the water. They soon run into trouble though, and after the riverbank incident nothing is the same anymore. Beautiful scenery combined with human nature under stress is a good base for a solid film, and this one delivers. Acting is very well done, the atmosphere is one of constant threat and the subtle msic from tiem to time just adds up to it. Really cool film, recommended!

Thou Shalt Not Kill... Except - aka as Stryker's War. Film written by Bruce Campbell, starring his friend Sam Raimi who is quite unrecognisable. The story starts in Vietnam, where a bunch of marines get a very dangerous assignment which goes horribly wrong and lots of people get killed. Sergeant Stryker gets hit in the leg and back in the States he has to walk around with a crutch. Trying to get some romance, his new love interest gets kidnapped by a weird cult with a hippie like leader who is wielding a sword. The cult also has a biker gang among it's members who get into trouble with Stryker's marine buddies. The next day they visit him and together they are gonna root out the cult. It's a bit of a strange film, there is actually no real horror in this one either. There is a lot of gratuitous violence, yes, but no monsters and again little gore. The atmosphere was pretty cool though, I liked it. Acting was meh sometimes, and there were various bad moviefan moments, my favourite one the guy going down before being shot. So if you like your weird 80s films, then go for it. If you're looking for Campbell, be prepared for a very short cameo.

Sci-fighters - one of my favourite villain actors, Billy Drago, stars in this scifi infected film, where it's supposedly the "near future", year in this case being 2009. Quite funny to watch a film about a future you already know. OK, back to Drago, he plays a character who was imprisoned on the moon but he died and got transported back to earth. There, his body disappears and it turns out he is still alive. Not only that, he also carries a dangerous alien virus with him, infecting people along the way. OK, so now this film also got some actual meaning, seeing the coronavirus develop at the moment. His old friend Grayson, a policeman, sets out to catch him before more people fall victim to the disease. OK scifi, some weird things but gore is pretty nice with the infected people and there are even some small alien creatures but only in one scene, they could have doine way more with that imo. Overall this is more an actionfilm with the cop chasing the supposedly dead guy, but the 90s cheese adds enough to the scifi premise to make for a bubblegum bad flick. I had enough fun, bad moviefans might have too.

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 22, 2020 1:22 pm  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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Sci-fighters sounds like fun, will check it out. :beerchug:


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 22, 2020 9:21 pm  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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The Viking Massacre - aka Knives of the Avenger. Watched this film, because it was largely directed by Mario Bava (he was put in charge of this film because it's production was very problematic and kind of reshot the whole film). The imagequality of this DVD is very bad, the inage is bleached out so much you can't read the white letters of the opening credits. The hero is played by Cameron Mitchell, who looks a lot like Captain Kirk in this one. Story is like lots of fantasy/adventure or sword + sandal films. Bad guy takes over from good guy who has disappeared, lone warrior protects family of lost guy, lost guy returns in the end, fights lone warrior at first but then teams up with him against bad guy. Dialogue in this film was cheesy af, fighting scenes corny at best. The warrior throws his knives like it's nothing. Recommended for bad moviefans and Bava completists. 

Octaman - a scienceteam discovers a strange octopus-like creature with human eyes. Because the moneytap seems to get shut, they make a deal back in the US: some carnival director wants to display the weird octopus. Returning to the sire tey find almost the entire crew murdered and the octopus gone. Now they're gonna search fof their creature, some for money, the others for science. This film happily plays on cliche and prejudice, the guys playing the Mexicans are exaggerating over the top with their accents, their suspicions and their taste of food and drinks. The monster is the default guy in rubber suit, cool. On this DVD the image quality was also very much lacking, the parts which play out in the dark (60-70% of the film) are sometimes hard to make out. The monster itself looks classic, it reminded me of Creature from the Black Lagoon. The ending is a bit western-like.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2020 9:00 pm  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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Blood Bath - found this movie when I was searching for Thou Shalt Not Kill... Except aka as Stryker's War, because another aka for that film is Blood Bath. So how I stumbled upon this film is a bit like how the director stumbled upon making it. Reading up on it's creational history, it seems it was put together from a bit of one storyline and then from some other storylines too, making the film a bit of a mess. This makes it more understandable what you are seeing, because yes, this film does not make a whole lot of sense. It starts out as a vampire movie, then turns into a serial killer theme, and then it is revealed that the serial killer is cooking his victims and believes he is the descendant of a vampire. OK.... Black and white, this film doesn't really succeed in grabbing you by the nuts and keeping you interested iuntil "The End". It's only about an hiur long, but it feels much longer, never a good sign. Effects are primitive seeing the budget and the time, acting is OK. But even while this is Roger Corman cult, I still don't plan to ever watch it again as it was overall rather boring.

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 18, 2020 1:55 am  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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Organ - strange Japanese film by the guy who co-produced Tetsuo. This film is about gangs trading in organs which they cut from people they abduct and sometimes kill. So yeah, sometimes they cut the organs from living people, making for gross torture scenes. At the start we (I had a friend over who watched this one with me) had some trouble making out the storyline, but along the way it became clearer: there was a policeman trying to get the guys who trade in the organs but he had done something wrong so he got fired. Now he is continuing his quest to arrest the gang but they are quite ruthless. Then there is a teacher who has some weird experiments going on with a plantlike man and he seduces a little girl, making things even weirder. The teacher is related to the cop on the case (a different one from the lone fired one), who also has a twin brother.  Oh, and there is some cocoonlike lady involved, also very strange. Gore is great, so watch it for the gore, as the story makes litlle sense, especially in the first half of the film. If you like biopunk you might like this.

Mandy - Nicolas Cage is Red Miller, a guy who lives out in the forest with his artistic wife Mandy. One day they get raided by a strange group, a mixture between a sect and a bikergang. They brutally murder the woman and Red is crucified with wires. He has to watch his Mandy die and from that moment on he is a bloodthirsty revengemachine. So he follows the gang and tracks them down, in order to kill them off one by one. They also seem to have something supernatural over them, they reminded me a bit of the Cenobites. Lots of kills follow, Cage stands in fountains of blood. Some kills are more spectacular than others of course. This film wasn't so bad, but the length was not necessary. We all know it's a revengefilm, so trying to build character of Mandy while you know she is gonna be toast is kind of useless in a film  like this, so why spend 40 minutes on it? Cut it short to 15 or 20 and you're set. It's a nice passtime overall but not really special or recommendable in any other way than if it fits your schedule you might give it a go.

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What's blood for, if not for shedding?