Bones - Snoop Dogg stars as some sort of neighbourhood godfather who gets killed and then later returns as a ghost to avenge his death. Quite a cool film, with lots of hiphop and street culture. I liked the atmosphere and the effects, the storyline was acceptable at least and I enjoyed watching this one. Snoop Dogg is a really cool character and the fear of Patrick's father is so great you can almost feel it. Pam Grier portrays a medium-type character which is a bit too much, but she is still a plu in this movie. Recommended.

Night Eyes - I never try to hide my love for 80s horror and this movie again proves that there really is something to it. The storyline is very cliche, with the usual stuff like something important is happening, but now these monsterrats are here and the mayor won't listen to the people who are trying to battle them, but instead he is wanting to let the important stuff happen, although he is risking hundreds of lives with that. We all know that. But this film also has a little more original thing going on, about a divorced teacher who is beginning a new relationship while one of his students has a big crush on him. Again, the atmosphere is great. I don't know what it is exactly, but this 80s atmosphere gets under my skin almost everytime. If I must say something bad about this movie, it is that the rats of course aren't that big and it is quite obvious. Also, the ending is somewhat sudden: I'd like to have seen how the older woman reacted to the fact that she saw the teacher with his student. Now we only get to see her first reaction, but not what she does in the longer term. We even don't get to see if they stick together or not. Apart from this sudden ending (which also has some good things going for it), I really enjoyed this one. Recommended.

Shades of Darkness - a bad movie. Not a funny bad movie, though. The premise is nice: someone finds diaries which are written in her own handwriting, but they date back to the 1870s. This not too original, but still interesting feature is then dumbed down to total boredom by the director and his crew. They actually succeed in making this film so uninteresting, that I started doing other stuff while watching it. The casting director should be fired immediately: a film will never become good when the lead actress cannot act. The editor should leave in some hints at where the story is at that very moment, because now the main charaxcter switches from being a present-girl to being an 1870s-girl and then switches back to be a present-girl again for no apparant reason. Or it must have been the car crash thingy, but that is never explained. Also, the twin brothers are very much alike (like most twins) but they are kept apart by a birthmark on the temple of Sloane, one of the brothers. When you get to see him, you will notice that this birthmark covers HALF his face! How could people ever confuse the two guys?? Well, there is more of this. If you like it, go watch it, just don't say I didn't warn you. Skip this one.

Forget Me Not - an exercise in suckitude. A really lame attempt at, I guess, a vengeful ghost movie, complete with rattling pale-faced people with hair all over their faces spasticing in random places. The IMDb has it under the Horror, Romance, Thriller keywords, somehow leaving out Shit. The horrible tragedy of the characters being 'forgotten' by others would maybe mean anything if they weren't already so forgettable and interchangeable to begin with. At least the high school graduates are closer to 20s than they are to 30s in this one. A solid 1.5/10.

The Omen (2003) - a Pang Brothers Thai ghost story about a dog, a little kid, a girl and an old woman, who

Spoiler:

are all one and the same person

... zomg (yes, made me literally boil over with excitement). Rather boring, overly dramatic and with some bad acting. Actually, quite a lot of bad acting. Totally forgettable. 3.1/10.

Starship Troopers 2 - I expected something really lame and bad. It wasn't a good movie, but it wasn't so bad as I expected. This "sequel" is stripped of all sarcasm which characterised part 1, so we're left with a plain and straighforward actionmovie with troopers and bugs. It was nice to see Brenda Strong from part 1 again, and she did one of the best acting jobs in the film. Overall acting was OK, storyline was OK too, albeit a little cliche for an alien film. Richard Burgi (The Sentinel) was the hero of the movie and he does so quite OK. All in all, I expected some lame bug shooting and I got a little more than that. Recommended only for some straightforward alien action.

The Hills Run Red - the 2009 horror, not the spaghetti western from the 60s - and boy, was it 75 simply wasted minutes... Welcome to the world of "ass-loving rednecks". Also more wooden acting than a forest of giant sequoias and bony women with plastic tits and empty eyes. Not even Bill Sadler could've saved (and he tried his... well, his medium to be honest) this weak throwback to the bad (and I mean bad) slashers of the 80s. I know the original idea was that it was done on purpose, kind of like the House of the Devil, but it came out just repetitive. 4/10, because it's rather clichéd and boring than bad. But again, I'm being generous here.

btw I thought this movie was here too, but couldn't find it.

The Barbarians - OK, some tribes, some magic stone, some bad guys, we have seen all that. But now come the supermuscled twins! I laughed out loud when I realised they had to portray the adult version of the two young boys we had seen in the beginning of the movie. Also our friend from The Hills Have Eyes is there, doing what he does best: playing an evil guy. The evil sorceress actually looks most sexy, but that isn't new either. So apart from the super muscled twins, there is nothing really going or this film. Mildly recommended. And then only for fans of the genre or bad moviefans.

Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman - the 50s version, I had already seen the remake with Darryl Hannah. If you haven't seen any of them, I recommend the remake. Yes, you read it. The remake has more juice, the original is a bit tame and slow, like more 50 cl;asics, but it doesn't have the gripping stuff some of them show. Also, the thing you want to see only appears in the last few minutes, while in the remake you get plenty of time to watch a giant Darryl Hannah. So,. contrary to my beliefs, I choose the remake now.

Maneater - a very possessive father who is traumatised by the loss of his wife, is going after a killer. Who is this serial killer, or... what? Well, you just read this for the gazillionth time and this movie is also trying to make something out of it. It partially succeeds. Some of the youngsters actually look young, some of them look just good. The killer turns out to be a shape-shifting mnonster, nothing really shocking or special. I liked the way the girl character was struggling with the posessiveness of her father. The horror story was less interesting. Pass on this one.

Harpoon - aka Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre. With this title, they want to have a chunk of the TCM pie. The company even printed it blatantly on the cover of the DVD. While there are parallels to both stories, I liked TCM better. And that is not even e very good film. I disliked some of the characters in this film so much that I was disappointed not to see them die so soon. Others were average at most. The stories how they get on the ship are absent, or very superficial. When victims are killed, they aren't displayed or worked on like in TCM, they are just dead and that's it. There are several loos ends in the plot. What happens to the blonde guy when he leaves the first ship? What happens to the Japanese interpreter? We never see them again later on in the movie while they clearly are not dead. Maybe I missed something, but these were things kind of hard to follow. There are some fights, but most don't last very long. No recommendation, but it is not utter trash either.

The Dunwich Horror - mmm, a feeble attempt at Lovecraft. There were sometimes hints at Lovecraftian atmosphere, but it never put through. The sceptic guy and his supernatural stuff doing ex-wife are not very interesting, she didn't even look so good. The whole film looked a bit cheap and bleak. Like it was made in one afternoon or something. Combs was doing a bad job. Very bad. Skip this one.

TCM 3:Leatherface.

So I assume you didn't think it was a good movie?


Cornered! - I'm not a fan of serial killers and slashers, but this one is an exception. I liked it! It takes a pretty long time until the first kill that matters (the very first is just for show and is not an important character), so you get to know the future victims, which is a plus. These characters are all lowlifes, there are a drug addict, a prostitute, a fat guy with an eating problem, a phone sex woman, etc. Because of this, they are much more interesting than those average "teenagers" we usually get to see in this kind of films. I had expected the prostitute to be a little tougher, but all in all these characters were worth watching. The outcome is OK, I didn't guess it, but I thought they really didn't look the same in all those shots. There is a huge goof in the outcome though, but I won't spoil it. Recommended!

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark - trapped ghosts get out and start haunting the house and its new inhabitants. We have seen this before, but since this flick is from '73, we must give it a break. The haunting is one fairly cool, I smiled at the ghosts pulling away the handkerchief during dinner. The small men representing the ghosts were somewhat laughable, they made me think of Full Moon/Charles Band monsters. A plus for atmosphere and music, recommended!

Legion
What a bullshit waste of money. Crap film, crap plot... hollywood studies pay for this drek to be made?

Hmm, there were some sthings I really liked, at least I wanted to finish it. Enough to enjoy. Yeah, the plot isn't so good. Effects are way too CGI, but there are some nice scenes in the diner before it goes down.

I forgot to post about

Lo - quite funny horror movie this one, about a guy and a demon. The guy is trapped in a circle and can't leave it because of the demon. Then he needs to find out how to command the demon properly to make it go away. The demon actually is funny, I laughed at several of its jokes. The ending, however, is not meant to be funny. At least that's the feeling I get. Recommended.

Necromentia - mmm, what was this movie about? What does the director wants us to think? There's this guy making trips to hell and back, making deals with demons and fighting monsters. While the hellish monsters look cool sometimes, it felt empty. Why go trhough so much trouble? The storyline looks promising in the beginning, loses power over the middle part, starts to become interesting again near the end but doesn't fulfill. A "just not it" experience, this movie. Skip it.

The Zodiac - I was pleasantly surprised by this one, as I was expecting something like Green River Killer, that rape of celluloid made by Uwe Boll. This was much better. It is more a thriller than a horror, as there is little gore and the killings are mostly done by shooting the victims. Some stuff is clearly borrowed from Seven, for example the situation at home of the detective (except this guy already has a kid) and the scene where they track the killer and enter his house to end up chasing him in the streets. Apart from that it was kind of interesting. Not the best thriller I ever watched, as the ending is somewhat unsatisfying, but true to the events as far as I know. It is an OK movie, don't expect anything horror and you'll be fine.

Hell Night - an 80s movie which didn't really feel like an 80s movie. Still, I liked it enough. The sorority/fraternity stuff is nothing new, the ghost which appears after a while is never really explained (why is this guy a ghost - apparently it is enough to have committed a crime 12 years ago), but Linda Blair looks goo in this film and I liked the fact that you actually hoped some of the characters would survive: in later films they mostly are annoying and tehn you want them to die. Atmosphere is OK, music was good. A mild recommendation, as they come better, but this is enjoyable enough.

Hollywood Boulevard - a funny take on the making of B-movies, set around a company called Miracle Movies, because if they make a movie, it is a miracle. The prodcer sleeps with all girls auditioning, the lead actress has this superstar flair while being in the same T&A movies over and over again, the director thinks hemakes masterpieces with important social themes in them, the special effects really kill people: it is fun! In the meantime there is also a serial killer on the set, a subplot whichw as kind of weak because my first guess was right immediately, although they try to twist it one time, without any luck. Recommended, as it is a fun ride!

Serial Killer - this mega unoriginal superdull title made me fear the worst. Actually, this is a highschool movie with a horror theme, rather than a real horror movie. It made me think of The Faculty, the difference being that there are no aliens here and there is only one bad guy. There is this high school kid who makes fun of everything in school so he writes his paper on careers about becoming a serial killer. While doing research about the subject, he starts finding clues about who could be the killer in their own town. This i kind of childish, but the movie tuned out not to be so superbad as I had expected. It still isn't a very good movie, though.

Lurking Fear - I like this one! Jeffrey Combs and Ashley Laurence are in it, both are pluses. I liked the way different stories came together in this film and the total misunderstanding between members of the different groups encountering each other. This is one of those movies where the interhuman communication is more interesting than the monster action. One of the best Full Moon films I have ever seen, as it lacks the childish dolls and puppet monsters. Recommended!

Ritual - based on "I Walked with a Zombie" from 1943, which I haven't seen so I can't comment on any differences/parallels. This is not a surprising movie. It has a storyline about a guy who thinks he is under the spell of voodoo-like magic, and a doctor who comes to Jamaica to cure him. You will not have to guess who are the bad people here, as it is quite clear from the beginning, especially if you have seen many movies before this one. It is kind of formulaic and therefore predictable. Almost nothing in this film surprised me and that was a letdown, together with the terribly bad CGI effects. The atmosphere in Jamaica was nicely done, bith the relaxed atmosphere and the threatening dark background of it. But alas, that is all I can say in favour of this movie. If you want to have fun for 99 minutes, find something else to do.

Sleepstalker - boy with sleeping troubel almost gets killed by The Sandman, a psychopatic murderer. His parents aren't so lucky. When The Sandman gets executed almost 20 years later, the boy, now a young man, gets to meet him again. The storyline needs a big suspension of disbelief and is not set up properly, escept for the ritualistic side of the killing: the purpose is clear, all else is not. Some of the effects are simple but effective, others are simple and stupid. The idea of letting the Sandman pass through doorlocks like a stream of sand is OK, I liked that. For turning sand into glass you need a much, much higher temperature than regular fire, however. OK film, nothing really special.

Moontrap (1989): Horror B-movie with Bruce Campbell and Chekov (I don't know his real name). Astronauts find a strange object near the moon and bring it back to Earth. It turns out to be a killer robot (alien?). The NASA destroys it and initiates another mission to moon, just to find a huge camp of alien killer robots. The movie itself is OK. The effects are good. There are some obvious goofs, but the movie is enjoyable.

The Wrath - weak film, with misleading cover: the monster is not so big and you don't get to see it so well as displayed on the cover. It is surprising how much is going well in this film. Almost everything goes the way the main characters want it to, and when it doesn't it is only short lived. When the very predictable thing of the professor taking the map to find the treasure himself happens (which is a setback in itself), he almost immediately gets eaten by the monster on the cover. You don't get to see the killing, though, it happens offscreen. The most interesting part is the part which takes place in the past, in the beginning of the movie. And even that is not very interesting. Don't waste these 95 minutes, you can spend them more wisely, I'm sure.

The Invisible Man - OK classic, with all the known ingredients: good story, old fashioned acting, etc. The effects were quite good for the time: you can see the outline of his face, but the face itself is made invisible so you have to watch closely. I like it how you can see the time in which it was made represented in the story (this time because of science making something horrible). There are some other clasics I liked better, but this one is also good.

Nightbreed - now this was a nice movie, I enjoyed it very much. Atmosphere, music, acting, all good. There was some cinematic stuff which I enjoyed a lot, like when in the beginning a family gets murdered, the apples the woman was holding roll over the floor in three different directions leaving small bloodtrails, nice. Some of the monsters looked laughable, but most of them were OK, with some original stuff in it, like the devil which always sits on the shouder of another monster, and the porcupine girl. The only bad thing about this film is that you never get why the killer wants these nightbreed guys dead so badly. Maybe I missed it, but my guess is that he wanted the earth to be rid of them, which is not a very good reason imo, but OK. Good film, recommended.

The Flesh & Blood Show - an oldie by Pete Walker. A group of actors is hired to star in a horror theatre piece, but then some of them start to disappear and a real killer is on the location. Very, very unoriginal story, but since this one is from 1972, it was one of the first films with this plot outline. So what you get is a classic slasher in its typical 70s form. It wasn't so hard to get who the kiler was, although I first thought it would be someone else. Not so much gore as you would expect from the title, but still enough to get this film going. Recommended, for atmosphere especially.

Nathalie Rescued from Hell - another nazisploitation and I liked this one. Instead of being a nazi-themed softporn movie, this actually had some action sequences with soldiers fighting partizans and some torture scenes, with the wardress whipping the girls for punishment. It was a bit long and it had some goofy mistakes (the hut with the partizans in it is deep inside Russia first, then at the end of the movie, while the girls have been transferred to Stilberg, next to the Polish border, the hut and the partizans reappear there in the forest), but I enjoyed watching this one, it is one of the better nazisploitations I have been watching recently, almost on par with the infamous ones, like The Beast in Heat and Ilsa. Recommended.

Life Stinks (1991)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102303/





ed2k: Comedy%20-%20Drama%20-%20Mel%20Brooks%20-%20Life%20Stinks.1991.DVDRip.DivX-tara.[wnet.co.il].avi  [699.69 Mb] [Stats]