Amazon Jail - deep in some jungle there is a wooden corral with some 10-15 women in it. The guy who lives in the mansion next to it, uses them as sexslaves to earn money: he simply sells them to the highest bidder who visits the mansion. His nephew however, has fallen in love with one of the women and they plot an escape. After they have escaped, there is a whole lot of movie to come still: they encounter a gay village deep in the woods where all men are lovers of the priest and they all gather gold from the muddy banks of the river. When the crew of the guy in the mansion catches up with the women at the priest's village, the gays and the women work together and they escape. The ending is quite sudden, you see houses o up in flames and women struggling in a big fight with the crewmembers, and then we switch to a scene where they float away in a canoe. Huh? Nice for bad moviefans, this one.

Extinction: The G.M.O Chronicles - a German film where the actors speak English. I have seen those before, I have even seen a Dutch film where the actors spoke English, and those films never escape the feeling that they just don't cut it. It remains a campy thing, German actors speaking English. The same goes for this film. The film starts out like 28 Days Later, a guy finds out he is a survivor of a worldwide epidemic which turns people into zombies. He retreats to an army base to defend himself and he makes video reports from time to time. Then he finds other survivors and tries to set up a life with them. Of course there are some mishaps, but they manage quite OK. The ending was a bit "made", it felt like the fimmakers didn't know what to do after a certain point. Also, it was a bit too long, the action could have been packed in 90 minutes easily. And of course the laguage... If you think this is a nice film to watch, just go and give 28 Days Later a rerun in your DVD player.

Terminator 2 - T-1000 without HDD, and BIOS! Liquid metal without programable hardware!

House of Flesh Mannequins - movie about secret group which makes snuff/torture porn. For the most part, nothing happens and you don't get to see much, but there is this uneasy atmosphere that I recognised from other snuff based films, this dirty feeling, a bit threatening for some reason. The story focuses on the cameraman and his neighbour, a very beautiful and curious woman, who wants to see what Sebastoian (the cameraman) does in his own time. This turns out in a way I didn't expect. Near the end there is some gruesome stuff, so gorehounds will get what they are looking for then. I'm not sure whether I think this is great or trash.

Death Hunter - bad movie about a guy whose wife gets killed by badly made up vampires. After that he is made into a hunter who will hunt down the vampires and the cgi werewolves. About the cgi: it is supercheap. What is worse, is that the cgi scenes are repeated 3-4 times, so you get to see the same werewolf over and over again. Like the first time wasn't bad enough already. In the second half a group of teens is introduced and I thought I recognised one of the actresses, so I wanted to look her up. Well, I couldn't find any site with a full cast description, most sites stop at 5 actors. After having finished the film, I knew why: I guess most of them don't want to be associated with this garbage.

Today I watch this:

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[ Add all 10 links to your ed2k client ]

You sure watched some shitty rips there, a lot of those movies have way better rips out.

Tucker And Dale Vs Evil - wow, cool movie! Really funny horrorcomedy where everything is based on a misunderstanding. I won't spoil more, just watch it. One of the best movies I have seen this year! I laughed out loud several times and had tears rolling down my cheeks after a while. I really hope the filmmakers will make more of this kind of movies. Highly recommended!

Fuck the resolution mate! My old archives!

Today something new stuff!

Shitty mainstrem remakes:

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ed2k: Rise.Of.The.Planet.Of.The.Apes.2011.480p.BRRip.XviD.AC3-ViSiON.[sharethefiles.com].avi  [1.91 Gb] [Stats]

ed2k: The.Thing.2011.R5.LiNE.XViD-MiSTERE.avi  [1.14 Gb] [Stats]

[ Add all 3 links to your ed2k client ]

You can say that again. Loved it and been wanting to see it a second time. Maybe this weekend.

Zombies: A Living History - History Channel documentary. I already know that they sometimes add sopme stuff to make the history sound more spectacular, but this documentary takes the cake. After 15 minutes I thought I had been watching for an hour, the images are shooting in your face and it is all going so fast with so many "facts" presented that you can easily lose track. The info is ridiculous, some people are being interviewed on their knowledge on zombies, I mean, come on... They are editors from Fangoria, or writers of zombiefilms, jeez. There is also this pitiful dude who shows us how to fight a zombie with different weapons. Really useful, because of course I own a mace and a battleaxe The sequence about which firearm is best to shoot zombies with I fast forwarded altogether. Maybe it was all a joke. If it was, they had me. Otherwise, all people working on this thing need to get themselves to a hospital for a checkup.

Alien Armageddon - when clicking this, I read someone's post who said that this was a Cowboys and Aliens rip-off. Well, not really, It isn't a good movie, let me be clear on that, but there is only one cowboy-like character in it and it isn't a western in any way. The makers of this thing of course could be "inspired" by Cowboys and Aliens What happens is really straightforward: aliens attack earth and take over countries and people. They are like the body snatchers, they nestle themselves inside human beings and take over control. A bunch of survivors are bunkered inside LA and they fight against the aliens: some of these are imprisoned in a complex where two female scientists are experimenting and controlling the aliens. When the aliens turn against them, one of them gets imprisoned too and then they plan an escape. In the end it is cheesy stuff about sacrificing yourself for humanity etc, all ends well. Bad film.

Night Of The Living Heads - stoner filsm rarely succeed to be funny or (when meant to be horror) scary. This one is no exception. For the first 45 minutes we are looking at and listening to some boring stoners who are telling each other uninteresting stuff which they find funny. Then some zombies appear (of course they became zombies by smoking some sort of weed) and there is a little action. This part isn't even that bad and I must say I also liked the ending. But to drag yourself through those first 45 superboring minutes is hell. So I'd say: just watch the second half (from the 40th minute or so).

Horny House of Horror - aka Fashion Hell (?, weird title, but it is the literal translation of the Japanese title Fasshon Heru). Japanese movie about a massage parlor where the men get a special treatment: the girls are out to cut off their dicks and kill them. It is all out Japanese, with a lot of weirdness, and loads of gore, but I got to laugh too, there were some very funny scenes. It also has Saori Hara, a cute looking girl who has some real life experience in (soft)porn industry as it seems, which is quite fitting for her role in this film. Recommended.

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark - Guillermo del Toro wrote the screenplay for this remake of the 1973 film by John Newland. This one has Dennis Quaid and Katie Holmes as the couple who are gonna live in the house which is also inhabited by some supernatural creatures. In the original, the wife is the one who sees them, in this one it is the daughter. Del Toro references the original by naming the daughter Sally, like the original's wife. Although he isn't the director, there is this typical Del Toro atmosphere in this film, where it comes across as a fairy tale, like Laberinto del Fauno or Cronos, where you could see this too. Acting performances are OK to good, Katie didn't disappoint like some times before. In comparison with the original, I had the feeling that this film had creatures which were a little more cruel, but maybe I'm mistaken (it has been a while since I saw the original). In this one they are cgi, and although it is good cgi it still feels a bit like an avoidable mistake. Still, this film is recommendable.

Tumannost Andromedy - Soviet scifi where the cosmonauts are gonna travel to the Andromeda Nebula. There is also a different storyline about some people on a distant planet, who, like in all Soviet propganda of that time (the 60s) "offer their labour and their skills to the community". Or something like that. I on't speak Russian, so I had to go on the English subs and sometimes they were a bit confusing. All in all nothing muich happens in this short film, but it is funny to see how scifi was made in 1960s Soviet Union.

A Haunting in Salem - an Asylum movie which probably feeds on "A Haunting in Connecticut". A sheriff who had soem mishaps earlier in his career, moves into the house in Salem which is intended for free housing for sheriffs, but after a while he and his family find out that the house is haunted. Of course, it is Salem! Very forgettable film, the only plus of it is Jenna Stone.

The Big Doll House - WIP flick with Pam Grier. Again we find outrselves on the Philippines in a women's prison where the warden seems nice for a change, but her subordinate is cruel and sadistic. A newly arrived doctor acts quite humanely too, and when the women are subject to torture he cares for them afterwards. Of course an escape plan is made and there is a lot of violence. I'd say this is a nice example of 70s WIP flicks, so if you want to introduce someone to the genre, pick this one.

The Shrine - overzealous reporter goes to Poland to find out about missing persons, because her last story was a tota failure. She wants to bring herself back to the top with this story, and she brings her boyfriend and her intern along without telling anyone back home what her plans are. When they arrive, they soon find out about a secret cult, and they discover a basement full of coffins with people in them who all wear the same white robe and an iron mask. I must say, the atmosphere was quite OK in this one, I was pleasantly surprised by that. The plot also twisted in a way I could have seen coming, but I didn't. So where I totally didn't expect anything good from this, it was OK after all. Mildly recommended.

The Video Dead - classic zombieflick where the zombies come out of a TV this time (not so subtle subliminal message here from Bruno Mattei). The TV is accidentally delivered to the wrong people and now they have to deal with the "video dead". These zombies have somethign against mirrors for some reason (perhaps they don't want to see their own ugliness). Nice atmosphere and great gore, the zombies all look a bit too made up, but that's OK. Recommended.

Cross Mission - American guy (consequently called El Americano) switches sides in a fantasy Latin American country where a dictator, nicknamed El Predestinado, deals in drugs. Really bad actionflick, where a white helicopter takes off, fires some rockets which impacts look like an artillery barrage and then flies away, meanwhile the helicopter has turned green Lots of fighting between rebels and government troops with the well known cliches of soldiers dying from a near hit, guys falling over to the wrong side from bullet hits, etc. A nice SBiG experience.

Wound - weird New Zealand film with a lot of S&M, twisted family relationships and a woman who is going mad. I must admit I didn't understand it all, but it was twisted in many way, that's for sure. If you're into weird shit, check it out.

Cannibal Ferox 2 - aka Nudo e Selvaggia or The Masacre in Dinosaur Valley. Doesn't have anything to do with Cannibal Ferox of course, there aren't even that many cannibals. The passengers of a crashed plane have to find their way out of the jungle and they encounter an indigenous tribe, slave traders and some wild animals, among which is a river full of piranhas, which you don't get to see actually. Kind of lame movie, but also some nice SBiG moments. Unfortunately the rip is of atrocious quality, very blocky and sometimes difficult to see what is going on.

Night of Fear - short film (50 minutes), but pretty effective. A woman gets a car accident on a deserted road and then she gets harassed by a killer who has a deranged mind and uses pets like rats in his craving for blood. When she escaped from the car he chases after her in the forest. Nothing much happens in this film except for this (and it's outcome of course), but the atmosphere is set right. Very nice Ozzie horror. Recommended.

The Thing - how this is a prequel to Carpenter's The Thing is a mystery to me. For me it was more like Evil Dead and Evil Dead II: the same story told in different ways. Again there are Norwegians, again they find a frozen block with an alien in it, again some are infected, etc. The similarities are a bit too much, imo. Also, the monster is cgi, which just can't compete with the effects in the Carpenter version. If this would have been a standalone film, I would have liked it more, but since it is SO MUCH like The Thing from 1982, I just can't see it as standalone (I mean, even the title art is the same). So, as a prequel it fails for me, but I was surprised to see a film made by a Dutchman which turned out to be pretty good. I don't recommend this to fans of the 982 Thing, but to others I can.

That's quite a xmas you had there slayer.

Btw Evil Dead 2 is a clear sequel, its the second night with a paraphrasing of the first film tacked on so it can be sold more easily as a standalone

There is even more to come, xmas is my filmwatching season, because I dislike pretty much everything else about this season

Oh, I thought I had seen you write something about ED2 not being a real sequel somewhere. Oh well, I just hope it was clear what I meant in my review for The Thing (2011).

Fatal Games - came across this one in the "Guess the Horror Movie" topic. It's a hilarious 80s slasher, with nice SBiG effects, typical 80s stuff, bad acting and a pretty predictable killer. By halftime it should be clear and from then on they start feeding you even more hints until it is impossible to not know who it is. Then they reveal it. I had good fun watching this one, but not because it is a good movie (it isn't).

The Human Centipede II - sick movie. This one exceeded part I by far. Where I had expected a lot of sick stuff from part I and didn't get it, here I got overwhelmed by the sickness of it all. The main character made me cringe: he looks so much like a dirty man, I sincerely hope he looks different in his real life. His character in this movie is fan of The Human Centipede and he wants to reenact the film. So he kidnaps people and rents a storage room to fulfill his dream. Even though the film is black and white, it is still very much imprinting on the mind. The depravedness of the man is shocking. Really, one of the more shocking films I have seen recently.

Ape - I knew this one from a Night of Bad Taste so I recognised some of the scenes. This film opens with one of the worst acted scenes in cinematic history ever. After that, the "ape" fights with a dead shark, a classic among bad moviefans. The rest of the film merely goes it's way, much like Godzilla movies, only the monster is an ape and the country is Korea. Then close to the end there is this supercool bad film scene where the ape is on a "mountain" throwing down "rocks": you can see the small white balls of the styrofoam blowing away in the wind. Nice to see the entire film, I loved it!

Chillerama - anthology of four short films. It all takes place in a drive-in where the films are shown. The first one is about a huge spermcell turning into some sort of Godzilla, the second one is about badly made up werewolves, the third one is a sort of a nazisploitation where Hitler makes a superjew in his laboratory and the fourth one is about zombies. I must say, I had a good time watching this one, but I really loathed the cgi. Again. I'm afraid we will never get rid of the curse of the cgi anymore. Atmopshere and actign were allright, but the cgi blew it for me, at least partially. Especially the spermcell looked so weird and fake, I would have loved to see this film with proper make up and props. Shame on you, cgi guys!

Orgasm Torture in Satan's Rape Clinic - you can hardly call this a movie. The "therapy" to cure a trauma caused by rape is a lame excuse to show a lot of sexual action. Although it only lasts for 45 minutes, I had the urge to keep pressing ffwd all the time. Utter trash.

The Uh-Oh Show - the most recent film directed by Herschell Gordon Lewis. He himself stars as some sort of grandpa telling a bunch of kids a story. The story is about a gameshow where you can lose limb when you answer the questions wrong. I really enjoyed this one, I think it is a great example of how someone who hasn't made a movie in years, still can make something enjoyable. Where we have seen other directors slowly fading away, Lewis simply stopped making films when he thought the time wasn't right anymore and resumed it only twice, once for Blood Feast 2 and once for this film. This one is really cool! Highly recommended!

The Ward - I already mentioned the fact that some directors fade away. Romero and Argento being my prime examples, I had seen Ghosts of Mars and thought Carpenter's time had come too. During the 90s, he had stood out among the mostly crappy horrorfilms, but Ghosts... was so bad, it seemed that all hope was lost. Well, not all hope is lost after all. It took Carpenter 9 years (in which he only directed some Masters of Horror stuff), but then he came back with The Ward. It is a ghost movie with a twist. It takes quite a while to get into it, but the second half is pretty good. I'm not sure whether this means the comeback of Carpenter, but at least he hasn't totally lost it. I might give this one a rewatch soon, as I'm a bit on the fence: OK-ish, or good? Until then, I'm glad at least that it wasn't a film with the level of Ghosts... or even worse.

Raging Angels - an alcoholic singer, Chris, gets kicked out his band and decides to become sober and start anew. In the meantime, his girlfriend is getting entangled in some sort of a cult, the Coalition for World Unity, lead by a charismatic guy called Colin. Colin hires the girl as a background vocalist for his band, and she gets closer and closer to him, making Chris worry about their relationship. He is gonna investigate the Coalition and with help from his grandma and a female priest he finds out that the Coalition is actually a means to let satan rule the world. Now he has to convince his girlfriend and battle the Coalition to prevent them from taking voer the planet... I'm not sure whether this was christian propaganda, but of course the satanists are going down in the end, which is visualized by a fight between a demon and an angel, which looks like prehistoric cgi. I laughed out loud at some stupid and dumb stuff in this film. I recently ripped this turd and I'll release it in a few weeks. Recommended for bad moviefans!

Cleopatra Jones - typical blaxploitation with Tamara Dobson in the main role. She is an international special agent, fighting a gang which deals in drugs around Cleopatras old neighbourhood. This gang, lead by "Mommy" has a lot of minions who are gonna hunt down Cleopatra, but like a superhero, she alsways comes out the winner. Nice music and atmosphere.

Eric's Revenge - the subtitle for this film is "the Phantom of the Mall" and that hits the nail right on it's head. It is a modern day (well, in the 80s it was modern day) version of the classic story about the phantom of the opera. Melody, the girl who dated Eric before his house burned down, and her friend Suzie go work at the mall and they meet a reporter (played by Rob Estes - pre-Melrose Place). They want to find out what really happened to Eric, while he lives under the mall and wants revenge for the fire in his house. Some classic 80s cheese in this film, so I recommend this one for bad moviefans too. I have a rip ready for release, expect it in 2-3 weeks.

Sideshow - a Fred Olen Ray movie I didn't know, so I bought it on sight. Released by Full Moon in 2000, it totally smells like the 80s. It is about a travelling freakshow, and some of the visitors are about to become members of the group. Produced by Charles Band and starring some classic stras like Brinke Stevens, this one brings home a nostalgic feeling for horror. Good gore completes it. I'll release it after Eric's Revenge. Recommended for bad moviefans!

Black Swan (2011): I watched this a few weeks back during a cinema marathon event in our local old cinema, which is usually closed. Nathalie Portman plays a gentle ballerina. Her problem is that she is cast for two roles in the swan lake feat: the role of the good white swan and the role of the evil black swan too. Why? I don't know and this is still bugging me. Because of her sensitive character she has problems playing the evil part. She becomes haunted by vision and desires buried deep inside of her. I really liked this movie. Where I don't see why it would be among the top 250 on IMDb, it surely is a nice watch. I especially liked how the story turns into a copycat of the actual ballerina feat.

Saw Black Swan at the cinema a few months back and I really liked it too. I think the top 250 thingy will not last: when LOTR was just out, it was on nr 1 for a while. At the moment it has a more realistic placement.

Dr. Shock's Tales of Terror - an anthology movie with 4 stories made by two guys. One of them also hosts the film and acts several roles in the different films. One story is about vampires, one is about two rednecks making pizza out of local inhabitants, one is about a gardener killing off people with his garden tools and one is about two guyys dressed up as the devil, cursing at each other. While I like bad movies, there are bad movies which don't fall into my "to like" category. This is one of them, although the fourth story was so dumb and badly made up that it might fit. At first, the host is unfunny. If you can watch him for 3 minutes without facepalming: respect. Then the short films, they are full of bad acting, senseless actions and ugly women. Effects are mediocre at best and repetition is common, even in the shortest story (15 minutes). This ordeal lasts for almost two hours, and if you want to make your life useful, then don't waste those two hours on this crap.

Vampire Dentist - if I would have watched this one immediately after Tales of Terror, I think I would have died. Fortunately I took a break between the two. This "film", presented as a horror/comedy has two major drawbacks: 1) it is unfunny, 2) it isn't scary at all. So what is left is a bunch of one time actors who keep saying the same unfunny stuff over and over again, while the cheap ass set never changes (I mean, come on, you can easily take some scenes outside, for example). After ten minutes I had been shivering of the utter dumbness of this film and yet I had 80 minutes to go. I managed to survive only to warn you about this film I guess.

Dark Ride - I don't know if it was because I watched two supercrappy films before this one, but I really enjoyed Dark Ride. Although it really takes long before the present killing starts (there are some murders in the past, but when you do't take them into account you have to wait one hour before the first victim is dead), the atmosphere is just right and the storyline is pretty good. I could have seen the twist coming but I didn't, perhaps because I was dumbed down and not expecting something that clever (it wasn't superclever, but compared to... it was). Nice, although I think the killings should have been spread out more. Recommended anyway.

Loch Ness Terror - laughable monsterflick with Brian Krause as a cryptozoologist who studies the Loch Ness monster in the US. The fact that this is ridiculous, is explained by underground tunnels which are all over the planet through which the monster can relocate itself anywhere on the globe. Yeah, right. The cgi monsters look onkly good in the sepia scenes and in the nightscenes. In all other scenes they are quite conspicuously born in the computer. Apart from this all there are some really nice cliche characters to complete the film. If you like bad monsterfilms, this can be put on your list.