Sette Scialli di Seta Gialla - aka Crimes of the Black Cat. Simple and straightforward giallo, where the murderweapon is quite original. A blind pianist overhears a conversation about blackmail and the next day his girlfriend is dead. He starts an investigation on his own, to uncover the truth about her death. In the meantime, more people die. I liked it, but it is quite average. Good one to start with if you don't know the genre.

The Beast In Space - hilariously bad film about a spacecraft which has to travel to a distant planet in order to get some super rare metal. However, the metal is guarded by a huge blocky robot, so the heroes have to find a trick to get it. In the meantime, they are all indoctrinated with some stuff which makes them want to have sex all the time. Guarantee for some laughs! Highly recommended for bad moviefans.

Footprints on the Moon - very weird giallo, where the atmosphere and the storyline are estranging a bit. You might feel uncomfortable while watching this, as it isn't revealing anything any sooner than absolutely necessary. Florinda Bolkan plays Alice, a woman who discovers that she has "lost" a couple of days from her memory. She goes to an island where she finds out that everybody knows her, while she thinks it is her first visit. In the meantime she has visions of an astronaut left behind on the moon. Not an easy film, but just hang on until the end and you will see that it is in fact a good film, too. Recommended.

3 Schwedinnen in Oberbayern - softporn comedy, known as "Tiroler movies". This is full of wrongly tanned people making superdumb jokes for 90 minutes. The story is simple: a hotel owner has a debt and the banker comes to collect. When the banker sees the blonde woman the hotel owner is with, he thinks it is the hotel owner's wife. So he makes a eal: one night with her and the debt will be gone. However, the woman isn't the wife of the hotel owner, so when the banker comes, the hotel owner needs to hide his own wife and get the blonde girl to take her place. Lots and lots of bad jokes, preferably about sex, make this film hard to sit through when you are sober. So, gather some friends, open a keg of beer and then put this one in.

Blood Feast 2: All U Can Eat - a sequel made after twenty years, we have seen it before. This one uses this fact nicely, and then goes on to make a second Blood Feast film, but with better means and therefore more and better gore. The comedy part was a bit tiring, but I had seen 3 Schwedinnen in Oberbayern just before, so this one seemed like a comedy masterpiece. Best gore is saved for the final scenes. Recommended, especially for bad moviefans.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers - pretty good remake of the 50s scifi, atmosphere is just right. Good acting, I already knew the story which is also good. Long film, but that doesn't really matter. Good film, recommended!

Castle Freak - Stuart Gordon film with default combo Jeffrey Combs and Barbara Crampton. This film was frowned upon by many when it was released. Maybe it is because of the flood of shit which has been coming out since, but I enjoyed this film. Atmosphere and effects are great, the film is from 1995, but if I would have had to guess, I'd have guessed somewhere in the 80s. The creature looks dirty and there are some gruesome details about him/it, which are painfully obvious during the scene with the prostitute. The blind girl didn't act so well, but all others did a good job. The trauma of the family who encounter the freak is great, but is it even too great to support each other in the conflict with the creature? Nice setup, ending was a tad weak imo but could have been worse. Recommended.

Satan's Baby Doll - I read somewhere that this was a remake of Malabimba, but if it is, it is way better. There is much more story in this one, and although there are X-rated scenes too, it isn't overkill as in Malabimba. The whole ghost thing is a bit ridiculous, but the possessed guy who is satans' minion is cool. Italian early 80s, so you know wat you're in for

Kingdom of the Spiders - William Shatner is a veterinarian who finds out about spiders attacking livestock. These tarantulas build hills and weave webs around their victims (which they both don't do irl) and they attack a victim in large groups (another poetic liberty). Together with an entomoligist whom he really likes, Shatner sets out to find a solution for this problem, but of course the mayor only thinks about the county fair which is due in two weeks. I wonder where this cliche of all creature flicks has started. Jaws, maybe? For bad moviefans this is quite enjoyable.

Indagine su un cittadino al di sopra di ogni sospetto - aka Investigation of a Citizen Above Suspicion. The makers of Dexter probabl watched this one A policeman murders his mistress and then leaves clues which will lead to his arrest. He does thi because he wants to check if a man with his status will be ever accused of a crime like murder. Weird film, reminded me of Kafka from times to times, especially the sequence in the final scene. Florinda Bolkan is most charming in this film, which asks a bit of persistance of the viewer. Stay until the end and you will have had a new and weird experience. Not really a giallo, not really a horror. But a good film indeed.

Black Sabbath - aka I Tre Volti Della Paura. Mario Bava made an anthology, and it's a good one too! The Telephone is some sort of a short giallo which I liked a lot. I read some very negative reviews, but I guess those people weren't so much into giallos and were expecting a horrormovie, like I was when I was watching my first giallos. I liked the twist, even in 25 minutes this plot could be surprising. The Wurdulak is based on a Tolstoj character, which explains the weird name for a vampire. Not so very surprising, but really atmospheric, this one is good too. The last one, about a dead body being laid off (is that correct English? I mean when they prepare the dead body for burial) also had a nice twist in the end, which made me smile of joy. Recommended, if not highly.

The Case of the Scorpion's Tail - aka La Coda dello Scorpione. A Sergio Martino giallo, so I was expecting a great story. I must say, it disappointed me a bit, but that could have had something to do with my high expectations. Actually this is quite a good giallo, it is just that some other Martino's (Torso and Your Vice is a Locked Room... especially) are so much better still. I was pretty sure I had guessed the killer right, but again I hadn't. It felt a bit lame though, this plottwist. However, Martino shows once more he is better than average, and for me he comes next, after his famous compatriots Bava and Argento.

King of the Ants - most low budget Stuart Gordon film I know of. Actors are pretty bad (Daniel Baldwin is one of the best present...), effects are pretty fake, but the story is OK-ish. A simple guy gets a stalking job and a bit later he is offered big money to kill the guy. Afterwards he doesn't get paid and he wants his money badly,. so he threatens to go public with the kill info. Now the criminals who gave him the job come into action and they grab and torture the guy. He escapes and then plans his revenge. If the story would be a tad bit less interesting, this film would be bad, but it isn't. It is just good enough to keep you watching. If you want to get to know Gordon's films, however, pick a different title as your first.

Drei Lederhosen in St Tropez - see my review for 3 Schwedinnen in Oberbayern above. The story is a bit different (a prize bull is being transported to France but instead of going to the championship for cattle, the guys with the bull head for St Tropez), but the rest is all the same. Keg + friends is the verdict once more.

Slayer? Are you dead, sick of watching films, or given up the reviews?

Dead Heat (1988): This movie is about two cops that are trying to figure out crimes that are committed by zombies. I really liked the atmosphere of the movie. It had some nice scenes and great make-up effects and gore. Joe Piscopo is so hilarious, I simply love him. I must thank Slayer for this rip.

Avatar (2009): I haven't seen this movie until tomorrow on TV. Unbelievable right? I liked the message of the film and the landscape of Pandora. Besides that the movie is quite forgettable. It is beyond me, why they have to make two sequels to this. What can you expect of actors, when their screen time is so minimal? Almost the whole movie is CGI. Stephen Lang was really badass.

None of the above

You can see I'm not dead because I still post releases in the forums here
I'll never be sick of watching films
I won't give up reviewing either, as I think it is quite useful, to me as well as to others

From time to time I take a break from horror, and this is one of such times. I'm watching movies and documentaries now, mostly about the Pacific War. But since I'm running out of them, I think I'll switch to European Warfare again, or maybe jump to Cold War conflicts in Asia. I'm sure I'll return to horror in a while, my DVD collection is almost out (as in: I have almost watched everything horror I own on DVD), but there is still the trusty HDD+Mediaplayer combo

Cool! And thanks to elchupacabra for keeping the thread alive. I come here often, when I have no idea what to see.

I went to Imagine Film Festival again (like last year), and visited the "Eyes Wide Open" double-bill evening. The theme was Astron-6, a Canadian collective of five guys who like to make movies in the tradition of 70s and 80s VHS films. So they barely use cgi and go for (sometimes deliberately crappy) stop-motion, miniatures exploding and for pig's blood and other "real" gore. Steven Kostanski, one of the group's members and mostly directing and making the special effects for the films, was present in the theatre and we got to see a live interview with him about making films and both features which were shown in the theatre that evening. Funny guy, and only 25 years old. I know I'm a fan of Astron-6 now and I will try to keep track of any future endeavors made by them.

Insanophenia - first off a 10 minute short was shown, it was about two bughunters/extinguishers who meet up with a third guy and that third guy only rambles commercial talk, really weird but also funny. After this talk, they go downstairs and extinguish several creatures which look a bit like those puppets from Tool videoclips. Soon everything goes wrong. Witty and with charming stop-motion effects, good intro for the evening.

Manborg - fighting against the armies of hell, lead by Count Draculon, a guy loses his older brother and wakes up on a labtable; he has been transformed into a half man half cyborg creature: manborg. He wants to get revenge for his brohter's death, but he gets jailed by the baron, yet another monster from the armies of hell. Working together with colourful types such as #1 Man and Justice, he fights himself a way out of the arena and then starts to overthrow the reign of Draculon. Hilarious film with a lot of "good" sfx and funny jokes. Highly recommended for bad moviefans. Steven Kostanski told us that it will get released on BR/DVD, so keep an eye out!

Father's Day - this one is about a killer who used to rape and murder fathers only. Now, years later, a guy whose father fell victim to this killer, seeks revenge and he joins forces with a priest and a street hustler in order to find and kill the Father's Day Killer. Again, funny stuff and over the top gore are splashing into your face and yet again this is a total pleasure, especially for bad moviefans. As only drawback I can say that because it was picked up by the Troma team, we get to see the obligatory Lloyd Kaufmann appearance and that was a bit of bummer for me as I always find him very, very unfunny. On the plus side: his appearance is OK-ish and not so dumb as in most other Troma films. One of the best titles I have ever seen wearing the Troma tag, and I think these credits should go to Astron-6 for 100%. Also, Amy Groening is a hot broad, wow. Highly recommended again! DVD should be out in June, at least that's what Steve told us.


When I came home I put in a Franco film.

The Sexual Story of O - this is about a couple luring young girls into becoming drugged sexslaves for a set of rich and depraved customers. Not much is going on, except for a lot of sex. First they seduce the girl, then they do threesomes, then they take her to the customers (also a couple, but they are quite weird as you can tell from the fact they order girls for stuff like S&M), they have dinner and then she gets drugged and abused. The ending is quite radical, but I liked it. The ending, that is.

The Devil Rides Out - nice, an old movie which is quite scary! Long time since I had seen something which came close to scaring me. Not that I was jumping from my seat, but atmosphere and especially music were gripping enough. Christopher Lee and his fellow actors do a great job in acting out this story, which is set in England in the 1930s. Some cliches about satanic cults are there, but most are left out which is quite refreshing. I enjoyed this one thoroughly, highly recommended.

The Inconfessable Orgies of Emmanuelle - mmm, seems like you can estimate the quality of Franco movies by the year they were made in. I agree with most others: Franco's 80s movies suck. They are nothing but an excuse to show a lot of nudity. While this one had the promise of a story more than Sexual Story of O, it didn't become reality. The cockiness of the Spanish nobleman was unfunny, the rest was forgettable.

I went to Imagine Film Festival once more and I saw

Iron Sky - great comedy about the moon nazis who come back to conquer the earth in 2018 (eat that, Mayans). zLots of jokes, most are funny, lots of movie references and historical jokes. Good story, good acting and all of this has been made possible by hundreds of fans who financed the film or played extras in it. It is amazing what a project like this can achieve with not so much money. Only drawback is that the film i a tad too short imo, it rns for 93 minutes but it felt a bit unfinished. But, it was one of the most fun times I had in the cinema in ages. Highly recommended!

And at home I again put in a Franco film to cool off:

Macumba Sexual - although there is a hint of a storyline here (something supernatural), this is still a typical Franco with a lot of sex and a lot of vagueness. It was better than the two I watched before, let's hope this course will stay OK-ish for a Franco, but not for "normal" filmfans.

Love Camp - in this Franco there is actually a story and it seems to be more important than the sexscenes. This was kind of a relief to me, after having watched several softporns without any plot. The sotry is sinple: a few women get caught by a gang of revolutionaries and then they have to live in some sort of a camp as portitutes to the men who fight for the revolution. One woman gets attracted to the main fighter, but she is also still very much in love with her husband, whom she hasn't seen sicne she went into the camp. He however, infiltrates in the camp in order to get out together with his wife. How will it end? I must say, there a were a few surprises, but not all were positive ones.

Roadkill - cliche galore! Group of teens (check) goes on a trip (check) for a reunion (check) and they encounter a weird group of locals (check) of which one warns them for a curse (check). The curse is in the form of a monstrous bird (OK, not 100% check, but at least halfway) which attacks the group all the time from then on, picking them off one by one (check). The bird is cgi, but hey, what do you expect from a Syfy movie. Usually these flicks annoy me to hell, but lately they have made a few which were less irritating. This is one of those. Still, the cgi monster is ugly as fuck, of course.

Panic at Malibu Pier - actually this was the first (pilot?) episode of Baywatch. Great fun, and nostalgic at that. Of course we had The Hoff there, and a guy playing Hobie whom I totally didn't remember, Erika Eleniak and my 80s fav babe Madchen Amick. A lot of wrong outfits and hairdo's. Story very predictable, but man, I had fun!

New Gladiators - some sort of The Runnign Man or Death Game like film, but made way earlier by the master of gore Lucio Fulci. Cool cheap settings and ditto suits make for an interesting scifi flick, with a good deal of action. I liked it, but I guess it is only for bad moviefans.

Sexy Sisters - 70 Franco, but not so good. Story is supersimple: two sisters can get a big inheritance, but one has been written out of the will. The other one will get it all when she turns 21, so the firstbsister does everything to get her declared insane. Of course, this insanity shows itself through nymphomania (it is Franco, you know). Some of the cast you might recognise from other Euro trash films from the 70s, like the doctor who is in on the plan to declare the younger sister insane. This was yet another Franco where the story got lost to the amounts of sex.

Mausoleum - hilariously bad demon movie, a treat for bad moviefans! It starts out great immediately, the first ten minutes I kept laughing at the bad effects. There are some classic bad taste thigns going on, like the green glowing eyes, the familyname is Nomed (which reminded me of "Nilbog! It's Goblin spelt backwards!"), the scene in which a woman is "lifted" by the demon but actually you can see the equipment used to let her slide along the ceiling and much, much more. The main actress is some sort of a Pamela Anderson lookalike and she is the one getting possessed and the nice green eyes. Bad taste galore this one, and highly recommended for bad moviefans.

Taking Lives - Angelina Jolie stars as an FBI investigator/profiler, researching murders where the killer takes over the identity of the victim. The opening sequence is cool, you get sucked into the film immediately. After that it is downhill, as the story just goes on from Angelina having a witness, then investigating that guy, dismissing him as a possible killer, then falling in love with him, etc, etc. OK-ish story, but no supruises at all, this was one of the most predictable movies ever. Actually it is SO predictable that you start doubting if it is really possible that indeed you guessed right. Don't doubnt! Your first guess will be correct! This also makes the film very lame. The ending was a moment to claw your eyes out. So, apart from Ethan Hawkes' acting, this is a total stinker.

To The Limit - what this film has as a plus over the previous one, is that with this one, you KNOW it is gonna be cheesy, as the main star is Anna Nicole Smith. In the parts when she doesn't have to talk, she does OK, but when she gets dialogue, oh boy... the re-invention of wooden acting, I'd say. The story is unsurprising, but at least it doesn't act like it has any pretentions. For bad moviefans it is quite a nice ride, all others should skip it.

5 Dolls For An August Moon - aka 5 bambole per la luna d'agosto. This one is very similar to Nove ospiti per un delitto aka Nine Guests for a Crime: again there is a group of men and women on an island and one by one they get killed. There is some sort of subplot with a secret formula invented by a professor (who is also present) and one of the other men tries to buy that formula off him, with a cheque of one million dollar. When this cheque is lost, everyone is a suspect. After that, the killing continues, but there isn't much of a mystery to it, as we can see one kill being made. The victims are stored in a large fridge, their heads hanging in bags from the ceiling. Like "Nove Ospiti" it was kind of tame and even Edwige Fenech (a genre fav of mine) can't save it. Go for the better Bava's, I'd say.

Voodoo Passion - several Franco regulars in this one: Ada Tauler, Jack Taylor, Muriel Montossé and Karine Gambier. The story is supersimple again: woman goes to Haiti, gets interested in voodoo and then starts having nightmares about it. In the nightmares she finds voodoo dolls and then is witness and sometimes participant in voiodo rituals, which involve a lot of dancing. After that, a person in her surroundings is killed. She is convinced that she is guilty of it, but a doctor (a very fat guy) convince her that she hasn't anything to do with the deaths. Meanwhile, the doctor has a hidden agenda. Most of the film consists of scenes in which the main character is having the nightmares, so you can see a lot of people doing exotic dances. There is the usual amount of sex too, of course. Kind of mediocre, but Franco has made worse films.

Ghost Rig - nothing much to see in this film, but it was surprisingly entertaining. A group of environmentalists occupies an oil rig to prevent it's sinking off. After a while they notice that something must have gone wrong with the previous occupants (the regular crew) and they start to investigate. They encounter a being which uses people as a host, and hops from one to another. This makes for a classic "who can be trusted and who is infested" kind of play. This goes on for a while, and imo it was a tad too long, but the ending is quite cool so that makes up for it. Recommended.

edit: I just noticed a nice landmark for this thread, 85 pages and 1700 posts