Hello to all you deadheads out there. It's been quite some time since I last spoke to you via this puzzling medium. A while back, I tried to do a web site of my own. After two months or so, I got pissed off.
Trolls were gathering on the site, not because of any interest in me, or in my work, but simply because it was another new place to gather and call each other names. They weren't deadheads. They were dumber than that. They were dickheads.


My son, Cameron, has convinced me that if I shun the internet, or utterly ignore it, which is what I've been trying to do, I will never be a complete human being. I tried to explain that I have no interest in being completely human. Being partially human is just about all I can handle. Cameron defused my arguments by suggesting that he would design a web site for me, manage it, police it, etc., so that I wouldn't have to spend my time scolding trolls for acting like trolls.

When you logged onto this web site, you saw cartoon drawings of a caveman. His name is Gorok. In college, I used to draw comic stripe featuring this character. I drew them mostly for my friends, but a few of the strips were validated when they were selected to appear in "The Tartan", CMU's campus newspaper (that's where I went to college, C.M.U. [back then, it was called Carnegie Tech.]).

Anyway, here's the deal, as of April 1, 2004 (swear this is not an April Fool's joke).

ABC decided not to do "Dracula". They did Stephen King's hospital thing instead. (I got beat-out by my buddy, Steve. I'm pissed, but not suicidal.) Faithful agents are currently trying to peddle my Drac script elsewhere. Que sera, sera.

Steve and I are working together on "The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon". Dakota Fanning wants to play "The Girl". Laura Dern is interested in playing "Mother of the Girl". We hope to shoot this coming summer. If it doesn't happen, I'll be pissed, but not suicidal.

My fourth zombie flick, "Dead Reckoning", is percolating on "high boil" since the "Dawn of the Dead" remake made 27 million in its first weekend. There's a very good chance that "Dead Reckoning" will go into production soon.

Soon. The great God Soon.

"Diamond Dead" continues to percolate on "hogh-boil" as well, benefiting from the success of "Dawn". (Check out the "Diamond Dead" web site, also designed by Cameron…brilliantly. I'll be showing up there every once in a while, along with Richard Hartley ("The Rocky Horror Picture Show").

I've written a six-issue comic book series for DC about a dead super hero (I deal in death a lot), and I've written two new screenplays on spec., "The Calling" and "Stranger". (More about those later, if there is ever more to report.)

That's all there is, guys, for now.