▄█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄    ▄▒▒▒▒▒████▒▒▒                         
                         Ì██▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒███  Ì██▒▒█████▒▒▒▒                         
                         ████████▒▒▒███  ███████▒▒▒▒▒▒▒                         
                         ██████████████  ██████▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒                         
                         ████▒▒  ██████  █████▒                                 
                         ██▒▒▒▒  ▀▀▀▀▀▀  ▒▒███▒                                 
                         ██▒▒▒▒          ▒▒▒██▒
                         █▒▒▒▒▒          ▒▒▒███ ██▒▒▒▒▒
                         █▒▒▒▒▒  ▄▄▄▄▄▄  ▒▒▒▒██ ▀█▒▒▒▒▒                         
                        ┐▒▒▒▒▒▒  ████▒▒  ▒▒▒▒██  ██▒▒▒▒┌                        
                       ┐│▒▒▒▒███████▒▒▒  ▒▒▒▒███▒██▒▒▒█│┌                  
                      ┐││▒▒▒█████▒▒▒▒▒▒  █▒▒███▒▒██████││┌                          
                     ┐│││Ì██████▒▒▒▒███  Ì███▒▒▒▒▒▒████│││┌                 
                    ┐││││ ▀████▒▒▒███▀    ▀██▒▒▒▒▒▒▒███││││┌                       
 ┌┬─────────────────┴┴┴┴┘                              └┴┴┴┴─────────────────┬┐ 
 ├┤                          .. proudly presents ..                          ││ 
 ││              The.Lair.Of.The.White.Worm.1988.DVDrip.x264-CG              ├┤ 
 └┴┬┬──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┬┬┴┘ 
   ├┤ :: fileinfo ::                                                       ├┤ 
 ┌┬┴┴──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┴┴┬┐
 ├┤                                                                          ││
 ││  filename .......... The.Lair.Of.The.White.Worm.1988.DVDrip.x264-CG.mkv  ││ 
 ││  filesize .................................................... 1.47 GiB  ││
 ││  video .................................. 2253kbps Matroska (0.239 bpp)  ││ 
 ││  duration ......................................... 1:33:09 @ 23.976fps  ││
 ││  resolution ........................................ 718*468 (AR: 16:9)  ││ 
 ││  audio ............................................... 192kbs Dolby AC3  ││
 ││                                                                          ├┤ 
 └┴┬┬──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┬┬┴┘ 
   ├┤ :: filminfo ::                                                       ├┤ 
 ┌┬┴┴──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┴┴┬┐
 ├┤                                                                          ││
 ││ Scottish archaelogist Angus Flint discovers an odd skull amid the ruins  ││ 
 ││ of a convent which he is excavating. Shortly thereafter, Lady Sylvia     ││ 
 ││ Marsh returns to Temple House, a nearby mansion, far earlier than        ││ 
 ││ expected. At a party in the village, Angus meets Lord James D'Ampton,    ││ 
 ││ who has just inherited his family's lands, right next to Temple House.   ││ 
 ││ Angus learns of the D'Ampton Worm, a huge dragon/snake which an earlier  ││ 
 ││ D'Ampton killed by cutting it in half. (There's a pretty catchy          ││ 
 ││ rock-folk song that tells the D'Ampton Worm legend.) As people begin     ││ 
 ││ disappearing and acting strangely over the next day or two, the skull is ││ 
 ││ stolen from Angus' room, and the watch of a missing person is found in a ││ 
 ││ cavern which was the legendary home of the D'Ampton worm. Angus and      ││ 
 ││ James discover that there was an ancient cult which worshiped the worm   ││ 
 ││ as a god, and theorize that the creature somehow survived its            ││ 
 ││ "destruction"...                                                         ││ 
 ││                                                                          ││
 ││ starring: Amanda Donohoe Hugh Grant Catherine Oxenberg                   ││
 ││ director: Ken Russell                                                    ││
 ││                                                                          ││
 ││ http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095488/                                     ││
 ││                                                                          ├┤ 
 └┴┬┬──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┬┬┴┘ 
   ├┤ :: checklist ::                                                      ├┤ 
 ┌┬┴┴──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┴┴┬┐
 ├┤                                                                          ││
 ││     * Worm ......................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Skull ........................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Cavern ....................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Temple ....................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Song ......................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Mansion ...................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * God .......................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Lord ......................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Party ........................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Convent ...................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Cult Director ................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Cave Drawing ................................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Boy Scout .................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Female Frontal Nudity ........................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Singing ...................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Gothic ....................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Bath ......................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Coin ......................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Police ....................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Nunnery ...................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Nightmare .................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Singer ....................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Impalement ................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Sex In A Bathtub ............................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Giant Snake .................................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Human Sacrifice .............................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Reptile ...................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Dragonslayer ................................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Rain ......................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Pocket Watch ................................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Dream ........................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Basket ....................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Cave ......................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Knife ........................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Pagan ........................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Inheritance .................................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Bat .......................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Silent Movie Sequence ........................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Scotch ....................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Hypodermic Needle ............................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Mother Daughter Relationship ................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Symbolism .................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Vampirism .................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Loch Ness Monster ............................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Snake In Mouth ............................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Knickers ..................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Gate ......................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Male Frontal Nudity .......................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Worship ...................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Police Car ................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Serpent ...................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Virginity .................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Dead Body .................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Sword ........................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Penis ........................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Blood ........................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Drinking ..................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Fertility Symbol ............................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Crying ....................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Snakes And Ladders ........................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Fossil ....................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Eccentric .................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Panties ...................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Kilt ......................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Crossword Puzzle ............................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Sucking Venom From Snake Bite ................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Nun Raped .................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Rape ......................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Snake Bite ................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Catatonia .................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Serpentine Dance ............................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Grenade ...................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Bite ......................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Stockings .................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Four Poster Bed .............................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Picture Comes To Life ........................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Excrement .................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Fang ......................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Garter Belt .................................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Harmonica .................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Bare Breasts ................................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Reincarnation ................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Villa ........................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Severed Hand ................................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Tanning Bed .................................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Sculpture .................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Body Cut In Half ............................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Christian Horror ............................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Vampire ...................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Seduction .................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Folk Rock .................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Roman Soldier ................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Lesbian Innuendo ............................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Virgin ....................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Disappearance ................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Cutting Off A Hand ........................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Hallucination ................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Antidote ..................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Bra .......................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Venom ........................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Bat Excrement ................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Broken Neck .................................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Nun .......................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Flagellation ................................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Ancient Temple ............................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Explosion .................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Underwear .................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Mongoose ..................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Roman General ................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Female Nudity ................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Snake Sculpture .............................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Nunsploitation ............................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Serum ........................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Snake Goddess ................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Pilot ........................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Paganism Vs. Christianity .................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Blue Panties ................................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Strap On Dildo ............................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Bathtub ...................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Pit .......................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Giant Invertebrate ........................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Airplane ..................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Hermaphrodite ................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Erotica ...................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Dildo ........................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Movie With Twist In The End .................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Cigarette Lighter ............................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Digging Trench ............................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Roman Villa .................................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Youth Hostel ................................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Search ....................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Pen As Penis ................................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Nudity ....................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Dragon ....................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Jesus Christ ................................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Adder ........................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * England ...................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Phallus ...................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Bagpipes ..................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Cult Favorite ................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Cult Horror .................................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Comical Banter ............................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Nurse ........................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Cigarette Holder ............................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Dancing ...................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Possession ................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Farm ......................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Estate ....................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Hitchhiker ................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Ceremony ..................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Giant Worm ................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Band ......................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Pagan Cult ................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Kiss ......................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Archaeologist ................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Masturbation ................................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Mysticism .................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Dagger ....................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Roman Coin ................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Mosaic ....................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Femme Fatale ................................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Bound And Gagged ............................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Black Nylon Stockings ........................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Dancer ....................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Castle ....................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Electric Shock ............................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Cigarette Smoking ............................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Dead Boy ..................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Topless Female Nudity ........................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Scot ......................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Teenage Boy .................................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Darkness ..................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Tied To A Chair .............................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Mobile Phone ................................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Bram Stoker .................................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Record Player ................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Diorama ...................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Butler ....................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Hypnosis ..................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Arthritis .................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Policeman .................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Pagan Rituals ................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Drink ........................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Telephone Call ............................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Dinosaur ..................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Father Daughter Relationship ................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Sister Sister Relationship ................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Paralysis .................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Airplane Stewardess .......................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Ritual ....................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Folk Music Band .............................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Watching TV .................................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Board Game ................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Crucifix ..................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Hospital ..................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Snake Charmer ................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Surrealism ................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Sex .......................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Snake ........................................................ [X] ││ 
 ││     * Based On Novel ............................................... [X] ││ 
 ││     * Independent Film ............................................. [X] ││ 
 ││     * Surprise Ending .............................................. [X] ││ 
 ││  ................................................................... [X] ││ 
 ││                                                                          ├┤
 └┴┬┬──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┬┬┴┘ 
   ├┤ :: notes ::                                                          ├┤ 
 ┌┬┴┴──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┴┴┬┐
 ├┤                                                                          ││                                                                                
 ││ I've heard the complaints before, from men of all walks of life: "SHE    ││ 
 ││ wants to watch some syrupy romantic slush starring Hugh Grant, I want to ││ 
 ││ watch something with hot, naked, snake-worshipping chicks!"              ││ 
 ││                                                                          ││ 
 ││ Well, complain no more! Here's a flick that's got both in one! That's    ││ 
 ││ right, England-cum-America's favorite foppish, eye-lid-fluttering sex    ││ 
 ││ symbol does battle with naked half-snake-half-human devil worshippers,   ││ 
 ││ giant white worms, and the forces of evil!                               ││ 
 ││                                                                          ││ 
 ││ Well, actually Hugh only kills one snake-human hybrid, and it's an old   ││ 
 ││ lady. And he keeps pretty far away from the action-packed finale         ││ 
 ││ face-off, letting his odd shut-in pal Angus do all the fighting. But you ││ 
 ││ DO get to see the star of "Notting Hill" slice an old lady in half with  ││ 
 ││ a broad sword, and that alone is worth the price of admission!           ││ 
 ││                                                                          ││ 
 ││ I enjoyed this movie, what with it's quaint, folksy atmosphere, it's     ││ 
 ││ kilt-wearin' heroes, and it's sexy villainess who seduces a hapless boy  ││ 
 ││ scout (!) into entering her hot tub of evil. There's even                ││ 
 ││ public-access-esque dream sequences where a Sid & Marty Krofft-type      ││ 
 ││ snake puppet molests Jesus Christ while nuns are tortured- and who       ││ 
 ││ doesn't want to see that?                                                ││ 
 ││                                                                          ││ 
 ││ A very strange movie, to say the least.                                  ││ 
 ││                                                                          ├┤ 
 └┴┬┬──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┬┬┴┘ 
   ├┤                    .. http://cinemageddon.org ..                     ├┤b! 
 ┌┬┴┴──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┴┴┬┐
 ├┤                    "your one-stop shop for E.T. porn"                    ├┤
 └┴──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┴┘