This is reply nr 1200, nice going, topic

Method - Liz Hurley is someone who isn't really beautiful, but she looks horny, in a way. Now that's out of the way, on to the movie. Hurley and Jermey Sisto play a broken up couple of actors who get to play in a new movie together. The movie is about a serial murderess from around 1900 in Indiana. Hurley tries method acting because she really needs the film to be a success, but she goes a little far in it. ACtually, I thought this was kind of nice. In the beginning I was fearing an artsy piece of cinema which was going to mis the point, but it turned out to be quite nice. The movie they play they are making and the movie you are watching mix well and that is part of its charm. I won't spoil anything, but I can say that although there is little horror in it, I think some of you guys might like it. Recommended.

Ice Cream Man - wow, that was bad. An ice cream man rides his truck through a suburb where kids start to disappear. A bunch of them investigates, but has a hard time convinving the police. Not scary at all, the music is overly dramatic, trying to convince the viewer he should be scared anyway. There is some gore, but it is so incredible (body parts mixed through ice cream - and nobody notices), one can only laugh out loud. There was one good joke in this one, though. Only if you like bad movies.

Hercules Against the Moonmen - I remember this one from the Night of Bad Taste DVD. A shiny muscular Hercules has to save people from the evil clutches of a queen (again. It is getting boring a bit now). Somehow they all live on a moon, and there are huge robots of which I suspect they are the moonmen. It is a very weird mixture of the familiar classic age superhero movie with some random scifi crap. It is a candystore for bad moviefans, so they should go see it. Everyone else should try and watch a good movie.

The Dead Next Door - Well been meaning to see it for ages, and now I think I should have seen it sooner. Bad acting, bad zombies, so so gore. Must have been fun in its time, not much now. Has a few shots in homage to Evil Dead and all the character names are horror related (Raimi, Savini, Romero, etc.) wich is kind of cool, I guess. Oh, and the Zombies run, so it´s not such a new idea after all.

Long Time Dead - I like British accents, so this was not a total waste of time, but it almost was. It was so not scary, I felt sorry for people who had been watching this before me, especially anyone in British theaters. The story is about a ouija board session going wrong. The way they get to this plot is ridiculous. Then when the djinn arrives he starts killing people, but you don't get to see it, except for a few times. A possibility to make this film interesting was lurking under the surface, but the director either missed it or thought he had made it clear to the audience already. Avoid.

Eegah - it is listed as a horror/musical. It isn't. It is a bad 60s movie about a prehistoric giant wandering around the desert. The giant is played by Richard Kiel, of James Bond/Jaws-fame. Around 25 minutes before the end the main storyline is actually over, but then the movie continues taking a sideroad, returning to the main storyline 10 minutes before the end. Although that was kind of surprising, this flick doesn't hold anything for itself. Oh, the musical thing only appears a few times when the slick blonde guy grabs his guitar, a band appears out of nowhere and he sings a song. Could have been worse. Avoid, though.

Grave of the Vampire - Gothic vampire film, with very fake teeth. People disappear and when they are found they are drained of all their blood. Some policemen think a vampire is the cause. A guy who was born after his mother was raped by a vampire mingles in to solve the cases. Actually he just wants to take revenge on his father for killing his mum. It was a nice atmosphere, typical of the era, but the film itself was not so very interesting. Still, it was the best I had seen this evening.

Leeches - this B-horror about a swimming team taking steroids and then being hunted down by giant leeches offers another chance for David DeCoteau to show a lot of guys in showerscenes or in otherwise next to nude situations. If you have seen for example The Brotherhood you know what I mean. The rubber handpuppets are hilarious and totally not scary. The killings are very very unrealistic and therefore funny to watch. In the end David tries to make a twist to the story, which could have been surprising, were it not for the giant mother of leeches which is totally forgotten about (giant plothole, there you are!).

Blade of the Vampire - I was expecting another 70s/80s gothic vampire horor, but instead I got soem crappy modern vampire thing. Blegh, this was bland. Vampires in this movie do have reflections and can walk in the sunlight without any additional explanation. When they bite someone, that person turns into a vampire (so I wonder how they kill people) and starts babbling about how incredible everything is. There is a vampire hunter who has a blade which can kill vampires (hence the title of the movie), but again, it is not explained how, or why other blades can't. Plothole galore, bad acting, almost no gore. Avoid.

Alien 51 - yay, this was fun! An alien creature (a biological killing machine) escapes and a policeman and the creator of the alien, the lovely Phoebe Falconer, go hunt it down. In the meantime, there is also a circus sideshow which desperately tries to find a new act and they think they have gold in their hands with the alien. While being chased, the guy in the alien suit keeps killing people and the circus folks (among them Heidi Fleiss) seem to gain the upper hand, but then the alien strikes back. It is a bad movie, but it was fun to watch.

Night of a 1000 Cats - there is a guy who owns an old castle which houses a great number of cats in a cage. He also owns a helicopter, which he uses to fly around Acapulco, looking for women to take home. He then proceeds to feed them to his cats. There is no more to the plot than this. Some of the feeding scenes are kind of gross, as Hugo tosses the meat around into the pit where the cats are, but that's it. Nothing really special, just a nice atmospheric 70s horror flick.

Ganja & Hess - this was totally unexpected: I thought this was about a guy getting into a gang of undead, but it was some arty film about black people and the meaning of life and death and other intellectual stuff. I don't mind that usually, but since I was in for some vampire or zombie slaughter, this was a bummer. A huge one. If you want to see a pretentious film with a lot of vague dialogue and some (but it is very, very few) blood, this is for you. Warning: no horror!

Bride of the Gorilla - another bummer. No guy in a gorilla suit, what 50s movie was this? Storyline isn't interesting and way too predictable. The girl looked nice for a clasic beauty, but that was the only tiny spot of light in this utter darkness. Avoid.

Night of the Demons 2 - phew, I was glad I saved this one for last. Great gore! I loved the atmosphere, it was very 80s, although the film is from 1994. I laughed out loud a few times because of some horrorjokes (like the lovescene with the "extra" hand). Highly enjoyable, recommended!

Assignment Outer Space - this is one of those scifi flicks which take place almost entirely within a spaceship. There is this rogue spaceship which threatens to destroy the earth so the crew of the main spaceship in the movie tries to do something about it. The acting is OK, but the story is so dull that it is hard to concentrate on watching this. There are some silly sfx, but in all this is quite forgettable.

Night Screams - a nice 80s slasher which is very predictable, it took me only a few scenes to guess the killer and I was 100% correct. This doesn't mean it is a boring movie, as there are some gruesome killings, and the atmosphere makes up a lot for this movie. I just love these 80s haircuts, I can't help it. Not a masterpiece, but if you can check it out, you should do so. It is on my riplist, so expect a release within a few months.

Watched the 2nd session of The Young ones , always great. I also gave A Nightmare on Elm street (2010 ) a shot and i would say it was not as bad as i was planning on it being 3/5.

Piranha 3D - Really fun movie, I guess the Piranhas could look better, but that´s just part of the films charm. See it. Now!

Scanners (1981): This is one typical Cronenberg movie that has a message. It's about some special people that can manipulate things using their sole mind. One of these people is evil and wants to kill the other so called "scanners". The main hero is quite an unknown actor to me. The cast however did a fine job. Effects are top notch as always. There are some sequels that I might check out in the future, because this movie was nice.

Xtro (1983): I watched the documentary of the movie afterwards and the director says that the whole movie is a mess full with ad-hoc ideas put in there without any real reason. For example: the clown, the black panther and so on. I must agree that this movie is one crazy piece of work. The actors were again quite unknown to me. Basically it is about a man that returns from outer space and starts killing people. I wouldn't say I liked this one.

Predators (2010): Yesterday I saw this one at the cinema. The movie itself is quite simple. The plot is simple, the characters are simple and that's why I simply didn't like it. The effects were good and I liked that they didn't use CGI for the monsters. The new Predators were okay, but not really interesting. The movie is about people that somehow got onto a foreign planet and are hunted down by the Predators. That's it, simple as that. Judging by the hype this was a let down.

Scanners sequels? Just forget them. Bad, bad, bad... Only the first one is worth of your time.

Machete - went to the cinema with some friends to watch this one. We all had a great ride! Laughing out loud, applauding to several scenes, the small audience in the theater was enjoying it thoroughly. One drunk guy who kept talking like he was in the movie got removed after 20 minutes, so the rest of us could focus on Danny Trejo, Robert DeNiro, Jeff Fahey, Steven Seagal (who actually plays himself), Cheech Marin, Don Johnson and the beautiful lot of Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Lindsay Lohan (another person playing herself) and Electra and Elise Avellan. Wow, what a cast! And what directing by one of my fav directors of all time Robert Rodriguez! I'm not gonna tell anything, just go watch it! Highly recommended!

For over a month I haven't been watching any horror, but while I was away for work, it started itching again, so here goes:

Elsa Fraulein SS - a nazisploitation which is kind of nice and soft. There is a few torturing (only two people get tortured in 80 minutes), and there is a lot of softporn, of course. Some S&M, but that's it. The storyline is quite OK, albeit totally unbelievable of course. I like it when the "nazis" drive around in American vehicles There is not much horror in this one as it is a bit tame, but it was nice to see a nazisploitation after so long. I have only one left, so I hope more will be relased soon.

30 Days Of Night: Dark Days - nothing really special about this one. It was quite obvious that this was a sequel, as part 1 gets referenced a lot. It is not so much horror, as it is an action movie in which the bad guys happen to be vampires. Lots of shooting (which sucks, imo) and a lot of running around in the dark. The ending was ridiculous(ly predictable). If they are gonna make a part 3, I'm gonna shit on it. This one is nothing special, waste your 90 minutes in a different way if you can.

Bear - this isn't horror. It is about a bear (surprise, surprise) attacking a car with 2 guys and 2 gals in it. The car breaks down and they have to survive the night. Actually, this was a very long episode of a soap opera, with a bear thrown into the mix for some tension. It was very boring. Please avoid.

Flesh Eaters From Outer Space - yay, great fun in this low budget movie adopted by Troma. An astronaut boards an unknown sapceship and when he gets back to earth (guided by the cardboard mini model of a spacestation) a scientist discovers that an alien has come with him. The alien escapes and now they have to get him back. The scientist is hilarious: from time to time he is on the phone giving vital info to his guy in the field (the former astronaut) and there is no way in hell this movie is gonna explain how the scientitst knows all this stuff. In the meantime the alien randomly kills people in a bit of a ridiculous way, it leaves its victims decapitated, gutted and soaked in blood. With the help of a fat psychic lady the astronaut tries one more time... Recommended for bad moviefans.

A Serbian Film - reading about this on these forums, I knew I could expect something different. The rip I watched was a screener copy and it had the word SCREENER COPY on screen all the time which was a bit annoying. There was a little cross in the lower right corner of the screen all the time too, and every 30 minutes it had this watermark "Property of..." well, you know those. The film itself starts out normally, like the storyline promises. Slowly and steadily the main character finds out what he has been hired to do, and he wants out, but the guy who pays him doesn't let him. There is some gruesome stuff in this film, although it is sometimes very, very fake. The pregnant woman doesn't even look natural (the bump is weird). It has a dirty feeling all over it, which is credit to the filmmakers, but the final scene, which is to be a grand finale, is very predictable. I knew immediately who were under the blankets. Enough sick stuff for the fans of the extreme, but overall it is a very long movie with too little shocks in total. Although I must say I kept seeing things from this movie even after watching the two following ones. Recommended if you're into this sort of thing.

Predators - reading the name of Robert Rodriguez, I became enthousiast about this movie, but it turns out he is just one of 5 producers. This was a very straightforward movie. People get dropped off a plane and then get hunted by predators. It didn't take me long to find out where they were (I actually did before the characters in the movie - meh). The predator action is OK, the interaction between the humans is minimal, but still they found a way to put in a moral tale about how monstrous humanity is (barf). I think they tried to make a Predator 2 in the style of Alien and Aliens, and there were some nice references to Predator 1. They even talk about Dutch and a predator rips out a spinal column like in part 1. The ending was stupid. Nothing really special, but if you have a lot of sparetime (the runtime is with 110 minutes way too long) and want a no brainer on your screen, you can pick this one.

Camp Hope - for some reason the rip I watched is called Camp Hell, which is a title that appeals to me more than Camp Hope does. Only after I finished watching I saw that it was based on ture events. That explanied a lot about how boring this was. Almot no hooror at all, except for some supernatural satanic stuff, which can be summarized in 6 minutes. The rest of it is just a report on how sick religion has become in the United States. If you want to watch something about religious youthcamps, pick this one. If you want horror, avoid.

Hollywood sure knows how to polish up a music video/advert director filmed turd and sell it on as if its someone else's work.

Jonah Hex - heh, this was fun. A comic about a bounty killer getting hired to stop a mad ex-general from the Confederate Army made into an action movie. It reminded me of Wild Wild West from time to time: Salma got replaced by Megan Fox, there was a huge anachronistic machine of death and a hero to stop all this madness. The CGI was a bit overdone, the make-up of Jonah looked pretty fake and some action scenes were a bt too much, but I can forgive that last fact for it being a comic-movie. Very enjoyable, nothing to tell your grandkids about, though.

Born of Earth - for some reason the rip I've got is called Born To Earth which doesn't make sense at all. This movie is about underground demons and it reminded me of Demon Knight, a film which is a lot more enjoyable, btw. In this one, Daniel Baldwin makes another attempt at acting, and again you wonder why he followed his brother to Hollywood. The demons are OK, but there is absolutely NO explanation where they're coming from or what you can do against them, except for some lame sheets of text in the beginning, which blablas something about ancient times when demons ruled the world cliche cliche. There is some sort of a sidestory about a mayor wanting to expand his town, and Daniel struggling to stop him and focus him on the demons. Before the mayor can properly do so, he is killed off by them (which I think is a major writing/script mistake). A bit enjoyable for the demon action, a lot of meh for everything else.

Invasion for Flesh and Blood - some sort of sequel to Flesh Eaters From Outer Space of which you can read my review a few posts above this one. I enjoyed this one better and I don't kbnow why. All goofy stuff from Flesh Eaters is there again, the gore is better. The fat psychic lady has survived the final scene of Flesh Eaters (which I won't spoil, but it is TOTALLY unbelievable) and is now helping the old scientist to find the alien once more. To do so she gets branscanned but because it is fatal to her, they change her into some sort of Transformer who can track down the alien (yes, you read it). She/it does so with the help of a rocker who just lost all his friends to the alien. This film is hilarious, if you're a bad moviefan, it is a must see.

Night Of The Comet (1984): A comet crashes (?) on the Earth and all of a sudden a lot of people disappeared. All that is left of them is some sort of sand. This is a comedy horror movie. I was expecting something like Night Of The Creeps for some reason. The tagline of the movie says that "two Valley Girls fight the evil types who survive". This is basically not what the movie is about though. It starts out quite enjoyable, funny and creepy but gets boring pretty fast. There are too few "evil types" (who look like zombies by the way). Mostly the girls hide, talk and get caught by some stupid government agency that tries to produce an antiserum for the "evil types". Nothing is really explained in the movie. What kind of comet was it? Why are the people gone? Why are some people not gone? Why are there "evil types"? If you are looking for a classic 80s style fun flick with some nice jokes, I can recommend this. I enjoyed it because of Catherine Mary Stewart, Kelli Maroney (from Chopping Mall!) and Robert Beltran (Chakotay from Startrek Voyager).

i really love watching horror. . .the best of all is the eye. . .

@Slayer: Jonah Hex and very enjoyable in the same sentence? That's something I never expected to see. I wish I never saw that film.