Martyrs - French horror in the tradition of Inside, Frontiers, etc. This is a tough film, a "feel bad movie" if that term exists. SWhen you discover why this film is called Martyrs, you might churn a little. In the beginning it is all kind of "normal": girl gets abused in adsylum, escapes and takes revenge. The revengescene is brutal, but not concerning. The concerning part is afterwards. What happens, could be written by Franz Kafka. It is weird and twisted, and yet after a while you might understand the meaning of it all, the cruelty has a purpose. The end is unsatisfying, but I think the director aimed at that, to leave you with that uneasy feeling: that purpose, was it worth it or not? Recommended, a must see unless you dislike French films like I mentioned in the beginning.

El Orfanato - wow, a horrorstory that really touched me. Del Toro is good as this stuff. A woman returns to a hiuse which used to be her orphanage, but then something happens to her foster child and she must persist and resist a lot, risking her life and loves, to make it all end up in a good way. This is not gonna be easy. I loved the way the story was built up: no scene is unnecessary, no character is only a figure in the background. Everything has a meaning or will come back later. At times I was enjoying to name what certain things were referring to, it was so cleverly done, I loved it. This story also moved me, I actually felt sad a t a certain point. It is a fine director who can achieve such a thing on a vet like me. I can only wholeheartedly recommend this to anyone. A very good film.

Calvaire
Even sicker. Actor/comedian/singer/orwhothehellheis travells into other city. His car - what a surprise - crashes. He arrives at some motel. And there it starts... I don't wanna spoil, but if you like weird stories - you should check this one out. The dance in a bar - wow, total grotesque. cool.

Caged
Well, french version of Turistas. Well, maybe more beautiful, cause they (french people...) like to cover girls in blood Good bombs+dogs episode.

i loved Martyrs

as you see i love french horror (or, maybe to say new french horror) very much

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: a family portrait - nice documentary which features the actors who played the disfunctional family of TCM. Funny to see how grandpa gets a face, to hear how some scenes were shot and then cut, how everyone didn't know what to do actually, etc., etc. It lasts for an hour, and you don't get bored at all, maybe it could have been a bit longer even.

She-Devils on Wheels - Herschell Gordon Lewis flick about a female motor gang. This one wants to be rough but can't cut it. The girsl are talking tough and treating men like commodities, they even let one of them who is supposedly in love do stuff she doesn't want to to the guy in question. But, it is all very sweet, because when a poloice officer shows them something they cannot deny they come with him without any trouble. The end. OK, it is a bit charming too, but a biker gang film should be tough and not pretending to be tough.

Body Melt - model neighbourhood in Melbourne is used for experiments without the inhabitants knowing it. When an accident happens, gory stuff ensues. Funny and gory, this story evolves, and policemen are trying to find out what exactly is going on, they aren't in on it and haven't got a clue until they find a certain doctor. Nice gem, recommended (don't take it seriously, though).

the exorcist, amityville horror and carrie

Fit to Kill - another nice Sidaris film, this time with Julie Strain as the bad girl. A diamond robbery is staged and the secret agents have to solve it once more. A lot of tits and of course remote controlled helicopters are there. This one doesn't stand out from the other Sidaris films, although this one has a short scene with some soft SM. Recommended for bad moviefans.

Death Machine - scifi about an agency who is gonna hijack a building of a certain company which is suspected to make illegal machines. The death machine is a mechanical supersoldier looking like a metal T-rex, and it is remotely controlled by Brad Dourif. He is pretty cool in this film as a wacky programmer, who wants to spend some time with the only female agent present, and he unleashes the deathmachine if she doesn't comply. The majority of the film is about a chase by the death machine throughout the entire building, which is a bit boring and repetitive. It is also too long, alomst two hours. Not recommended.

Beatrice Cenci - historical drama about Cenci family. The chronology of the storyline is confusing, what I think now is that there are flashbacks within flashbacks, making you wonder sometimes how that murdered person still walks around in a later scene. Sound was a bit muffled, so sometimes hard to follow. The story contains enough torture and other exploitation to keep it a bit interested, but it isn't a gripping movie. Not really recommended

Sinthia the Devil's Doll - Sinthia has a father complex and tries to solve it with a shrink after she murdered her parents. She is obviously crazy, and her obsession can only end in one way, according to the psychiatrist. She has to go back into her dreams and then commit suicide there. Weird film. Mildly recommended for bad moviefans, as there is a lot of nakedness.

Calvaire - totally whacked film about an artist who gets stranded in the forest with a mild mannered forester who is gonna help fix his van. But then the story takes a twist. Everyone is mad, including the townspeople. Won't spoil it, but it is totally insane and therefore an interesting watch, although some of the chases through the forest could have been cut shorter. Highly recommended!

Brotherhood of Blood - some ancient vampire is resurrected and can only be stopped by a bond of humans and vampires together. Not really interesting vampirefilm, as it is full of cliches (vampires trying to wi over people's trust and then betray them etc). There are some nice genre actors present, like Ken Foree and Sid Haig, but they can't save this film. Avoid.

Soylent Green - pretty good scifi flick with gun wielding Charlton Heston as the hero who unravels a murdercase and opens up something way bigger. Set in New York in 2022, there is overpopulation and the food is controlled by one company. Nice apocalyptich thought, and worked out very well. When the scoopers came, I was really wondering what happened to anyone who gets scooped, but you don't get to see it, shame. Maybe, they are also a part of Heston's discovery later in the film, and maybe I missed that. It would be good, that way Recommended.

Ebola Syndrome - way over the top Hong Kong gorefest. The story is totally subject to the gore, but it still makes sense here and there. A guy returning to Hong Kong after having been in South Africa for ten years brings a deadly voirus with him and everyone who gets it dies soon. Some victims get operated on and everyone is vomiting over someone else as soon as he is sick. So, a lot of opportunities for the gore to appear. There is a lot of sex too and it is a bit dirty at times, but luckily no extreme stuff as you can see in some other East Asian movies. Recommended if you are into gore.

Mondo Cane II - this second installment of the Italian travelling moviemakers starts out with a cynical comment on Mondo Cane part 1 being banned by the BBFC, followed by some animal cruelty taking place in the UK. Brilliant! This second part is more of the same, in the beginning they say there won't be any cruelty, but that is a lie. There is less cruelty than in part 1 and also there is less obvious staged filming. But, we can still spot the staged stuff easily, like the Hyde Park corner scene, in which the "amateur politicians" are dubbed in Italian and conveniently speak after each other instead of simultaneously. I liked part 1 better becauseof the different footage, this one has 75% religious madness and it starts to be boring after a while. But: this one has a fantastic joke at the start. See it if mondo is your thing.

The Indestructible Man - classic horror about a murderer being electrocuted and then resurrected by a doctor. He can't talk anymore but he is a lot stronger than when he was still a regular living guy. He is out to find the three men who framed him and he wants to kill them all. It is up to the police to stop this man who can withstand bullets. Not a very special movie, I'd say: look for a different classic, especially when you wantto get to know the (sub)genre.

Zombie Brigade - Ozzie zombieflick which has some vampiric creatures too. They get unleashed when a developer blows up the Vietnam War monument. There is enough to laugh at and about, the zombies have different walking paces, they look like Vietnam vets but then in another scene they look like KKK members. It is kind of messy, but I enjoyed it (maybe as a dirty pleasure, I'm not sure). The ending is OK-ish. Not ehw orst, but vcertainly not the best zombieflick out there. Much better than the handycam and 1 liter fake blood zombiefilms made by students, but not as good as the horrorcomedies with zombies we get to see soemtimes.

The Warriors - a very cool gang movie about a gang which gets blamed for a murder they didn't commit. Now they have to run for their lives. The first half could be renamed "The importance of running", as they are running almost all the time, but after that there is fighting, thinking and some more running. What was the coolest for me in this film is that you get to see some actors in their early youth, like David Patrick Kelly and James Remar. Atmosphere was chilly, there was almost always a threatening feeling in the air, well done, filmmakers! Enjoyed this, recommended.

Blood and Black Lace - early installment of Mario Bava. A killer shows up at a stripclub and kills the women one by one. The guessing game can start, and I was partly right. I must say that you really cannot think of who did it by just watching closely. When you know Italian cinema, you can guess part of the solution, which is what I did. The other half is cleverly thought up. Overall, this is quite a nice film for a murder mystery from 1964. I was trying to find out which language it was originally in, but I got stuck at the multi language option: I guess some actors spoke ENglsih and some spoke Italian on set. I'm putting this on my riplist because the most recent rip out is years old and only 700 MB. Oh, and I recommend the movie.

Elvira's Haunted Hills - Elvira now reminds me of a person I know irl and that makes me smile. The jokes she makes are a bit lame, but the facial expressions make up for it. The adventure is not very original, but I just love Elvira and how she handles stuff with witty remarks here and there. There is also some nice gore in this one. I had a good time watching it! Recommended.

August Underground's Penance - third and last in the series of reality killer films. I read on imdb that part 1 was realistic, part 2 was shocking and part 3 was a mixture between the two. Well, I tried to follow this one (I had been skipping through part two because there were some very very boring scenes in it), but I must say that for me, the lack of storyline is quite killing. Near the end I thought I was witnessing a nice and unexpected twist, but it turned out I was wrong. The real ending was very unrealistic (I mean, you can't even do that - your own brain will prevent you), so it made the realism point of these series a bit moot. All in all, I think it is a bit like Faces of Death. You must have seen them, but they aren't good or really shocking or anything. I wrote some stuff is shocking, but I meant that in general. For me, shocking is when you are tired after watching (like Inside) or when you want to turn away from the screen (Cannibal Holocaust). August Underground didn't do that for me.

Bitten - this one has Jason Mewes as a paramedic, and it is hard to not think of Jay from the Kevin Smith films. He finds a girl in the trash one night and she is covered with blood. He wants to help her, but she doesn't know who she is. One night they find out she is a vampire, so Jason needs to cover for her and find blood to feed her. This becomes increasingly more troublesome. Nice film, the premise is cool, but it felt a bit like a timefiller to me, it wasn't gripping or anything. Some nice jokes, decent enough acting etc, but still a bit plain.

Pervert! - a son returns home to his senior dad who lives with some very hot hookers with big boobs. This is the best part of the movie. There are repetitive scenes where the boobs play the main part, being washed, or rubbed, etc. After a while, people start getting killed, but by whom? After some are dead, a nurse-like type shows up and she finds out what is going on. I'm not gonna tell ya, as it would spoil the fun, but I can tell you it is hilarious! Recommended for some brainless fun and big boobs.

That Little Monster - a bit of an arty film, at least that's what it looked like to me. A weird experience, with titleboards inbetween the scenes like in silent movies. The storyline is a bit like "It's Alive" or similar childmonster films. It has a very weird story developing and ending. Someone compared this film to Eraserhead, and I can understand why: this one is also quite incomprehensible. It lasts only for 55 minutes, so if you have some spare time, check it out.

Faces of Death 3 - more of the same and the novelty is gone, like in part 2. There still is the game of spotting stuff which porves it is fake. Still, most of the time you have to derive it from what you see instead of just noticing what you see if you catch my drift. I'll give an example. On the scene where the parajumper lands in a spot nobody expected him to, it is just way too coincidental that there is a filmcrew present, camera and sound included. Furthermore, we get to see an interview with a guy who was there. He was so shocked he couldn't do anything, but still the camreacrew didn't have any objections to doing their job (and not helping the poor parajumper, btw). In the scene where a guy is threatening to jump off a building, we can spot props easily: the doll is way too much a doll, even a kid could spot that. Apart from this game, the FotD series is not very interesting anymore, as the shock has gone (mostly because it is so fake, btw). There is one left, but I'm not expecting a lot from it, as it is uncut even in the UK.

Company of Wolves - nice film told in a fairytale-like way. It reminds one of Little Red Riding Hood time and again in this movie. The wolves look OK, although near the end they become German shepherds too obviously. There are two cool transformation scenes, but the special killings aren't needed for the wolves in this film. The subplot isn't very interesting imo. It is a shame that we get to see the same spot in the forest over and over again, but the film is good enough to be enjoyed, so: recommended.

The Twelve Gold Medallions - I was in the mood for some kung fu and that rarely happens, so I slid this one in the DVD player. Inaccidentally bought it one day froma second hand DVD store wherre the owner didn't notice the difference between this film and The Super Inframan, in which sleeve it was. He just said that both disc and sleeve had "Shaw Brothers" on it Well, this was quite a cool film actually,. I'm not a fan of kung fu, as the storylines usually are so subect to the fighting scenes. This one has the advantage that the fighting scenes are never too long ecept for the final one and the characters who fight each other mostly know each other through family, or other ties. This makes it a little more interesting. If you liek kung fu you might wanna check this one out.

Raiders of the Living Dead - I expected a very very bad film and thus I was a little surprised to see that it was OK-ish. Yes, it is a bad movie, but not so bad that wanted to press ffwd or something like that. It is kind of atmospheric (80s, here we go again) and the characters are cute in some sort of way. The storyline is not so good, as we get to see the main enemy only in the final scene. Although this may sound good, it isn't in this case. The zombies were way better than I expected and the lasergun is hilarious. Recommended for bad moviefans.

The Gravedancers (2006): Three friends get drunk in a cemetery and start dancing around. Unluckily they danced in the area occupied by the disdained ones. So they get haunted by the ghost of a murderer, a pyromaniac child and a rapist. The movie starts with a strange scene (which I still don't really understand) and becomes a bit slow after. In the end it delivers with nice acting and great effects. Quite creepy in some places but nothing really new here. Still recommended for a good watch.

Dracula (1958): Totally brilliant Dracula flick. Peter Cushing as Van Helsing and Christopher Lee as Dracula, what can go wrong here? Nothing. Great story and scenery. One of the best Dracula movies I've seen so far. It has all of the nice atmosphere Hammer movies use to have.

Sunshine (2007): If you too loved "Event Horizon" and are looking for a similar flick, you might pick this one. It is not as creepy, but pretty good all way through. A space mission is heading to the dying sun. They are the second space ship sent there as the first one called Icarus-1 had vanished. I don't want to spoil anything. It should be enough to tell you that the story is quite like in Event Horizon. Nice movie.

Solaris (2002): George Clooney stars in this movie about a space ship orbiting a strange "planet" called Solaris. The astronauts are all haunted by dead people they loved. They experience them as real people wandering around. The movie is more like a drama than a horror movie. The horror comes from the emotions. The ending is ambiguous, which is sometimes a good thing (hehe). I would not recommend this to anybody. It was just too slow and boring for me.

Sorority Row - remake of the 80s slasher. I had low expectations, and on one hand I was right having them, on the other hand I was a bit surprised in the pleasant meaning of the word. What was not so good: imo they simplified the storyline too much and the atmosphere was somewhat lacking. I didn't feel so much for the characters and it wasn't so scary. Also, the way the killing takes place is over the top so stupid as it is. What was pretty good: they modernised the story in a nice way, all characters are active on Facebook and the likes and they get threatening text messages from the killer. The girls are hot! Way hotter than in the original, except for the Asian girl, but I just don't like Asian girls so much. The way the girls act towards each other is also nicely done, the bitchy stuff is there for sure. Also, I thought it was fyunny to recognise some actors from 90210 If you want to see a slasher with hot babes, go for this one, if you want to see a slasher with atmosphere, watch the original.

Vampires: the turning - there is one, yes one, reference to Vampires by John Carpenter in this film: the vampirehunters drag a vampire out of a house by a cable which is pulled by a car and then the vampire burns up. All the rest has nothing, yes nothing, to do with Vampires. The story is about two warring vampireclans, one clan wants to live forever and the other wants to end vampirism. The "bad" vampire kidnaps the girl of the protagonist, so he is gonna fight to get her back. There are some low standard kung fu fights, and many vampires warning the hero that he should go away while he still can (this is repeated so often it becomes annoying). The only redeeming quality of this film is the ending. You might guess by now what it is.

The Dirty Seven - a group of mercenaries waits for a pickup after they completed their mission, but they get shot at instead. Now they have to walk cross country in order to find ood and medical care for their captain, who got hit. In a house they find an old man and a woman and they rape her. The old man gets killed. After a while, they find another woman, but this one gives them more to worry about... Nice exploitation with Laura Gemser, it is something different, of course there is the usual rape and violence, but eh context is somewhat new. So although the storyline is quite flat, it is a bit enjoyable too. If the title is pointing to the number of emrcenraies, though, it soon isn't correct anymore

Lemora - Lila, a pristine child who sings in the church choir gets a note that her father, a nptorious criminal, is dying. So she sets out to meet him, but she gets lured into a castle where Lemora lives with her assistants. Lemora is some sort of witch/vampire who says she loves Lila. In the meantime Lila finds out bit by bit what the castle and its inhabitants are all about. Atmospheric tale, good music. The ending is cool, I loved it. Recommended.

today i watched the house of the dead, funny directors cut, - have to say i realy enjoy it, uwe boll has a real good sense of humour, i know the movie was bad, but the funny directors cut is actually funny...i have watched all his movies, but rampage and bluberrela *yes that movie* are his best, rampage is just simply a great movie if ur bored .. and bluberrela is actually funny at times.. didnt mind postal either.. also watched area 51 on syfy, i have nothing to say about that movie...

oh also went to see transformers 3, watched 45 mins and left, i know waste of ticket and all that, but i was bored, and the movie made me feel ill, horrible movie, just horrible.. id rather watch the ward or mother of tears for the second time.. sorry had some wine

Felicia's Journey - the backside of this DVD says something about a psychopath, and I wish it hadn't. Because now I was waiting for some psycho action until the endcredits rolled. I waited in vain. This movie is long and depressing, it runs for almost two hours and the mood of the characters and the imagery of the landscape is very depressing (I know England has some very beautiful landscape but it looks like the director chose to film these parts instead). Now, that can be a good thing. But then you also need to have something happening in the movie and that's where this one is lacking. At some points I got a bit of a creepy feeling, especially at the scene where Bob Hoskins stares at the camera for about 45 seconds and you hear a long beep. But this was an exception, as most of the film is long-winded. Certain scenes could have been done in under half of the time they are now. The ending is so meh, it is unbelievable. It is a drama with a twist of thriller, but nothing horror or pychopathic. Avoid, avoid very hard.

The Whitching (1993): Once a seller sent me the wrong DVD and added a DVD with this movie as an apology to his next shipment. Whatever. The story printed on the cover was quite interesting and promising. A boy is left alone taking care of grandma and the refrigerator becomes a doorway to hell. This movie is really bad. The acting is terrible, the effects are horrible, there is no gore and no suspense at all. Unfortunately it is not an SBIG movie, because it tries to be funny and fails. There are some jokes that work, but most of the time you pray for the time to pass faster. Avoid.

Complexx - surprise, surprise! A Dutch horror which was actually entertaining, the acting was quite good and the effects didn't look fake! I had to check some scenes twice, but it was indeed pretty well done. Not anything close to what the Italian masters have made or what Cronenberg and Carpenter can do, but I had a good time watching this and I was never thrown out of the movie like I was with Woensdag, where it was hard to keep suspending disbelief. This film grabbed me a little bit. I wanted to know the killer, and I couldn't guess it. There were two options for me in the beginning, but after some 20 minutes I had to drop one and I picked a new one. I wasn't right, but also not totally wrong. The effects look pretty good, the actors and actresses are all pretty unknown, except for our national Victoria Beckham wannabe Yolanthe, who actually looks juicy. The ending is a bit ambiguous and I liked that. The only thign where we can see a typical Dutch treat in filmindustry is in the final scene where we can see a helicopter with advertising on the sides: "Rent a helicopterflight, call this number..." BAM, immersion gone. Well, that was the only minor thing I could find. The DVD has English subs. so I will rip this baby this summer so you guys can enjoy this too or tell me how totally wrong I am with this review In the meantime, recommended.

Terminal Error - O.M.G. What a terrible film, it has hackers and a divorced couple, whose son is into hacking but his mom is into computer ethics while his dad is the CEO o a large software corporation. A virus is set free into the mainframe of his software corporation and now the world starts to rebel against the humans: traffic lights go on and off, heating goes over the top, powerplants explode, etc. Now the CEO is trying to find out what the problem is and after a while his son, who has a troublesome relationship with his dad, is gonna help him. In the end they win and they all three come together again. Yuck. Bucket time. Avoid like the plague!

The Sight - mmm, this one was actually a bit of OK. It is about a guy Michael, who gets a "job": he needs to help dead people who still dwell in limbo. He cabn see them, but nobody else can,. so several people think he is crazy, among whom are the police. This doesn't work well for Michael, as he is on the track of a serial killer who only kills kids. He needs to hunt down the killer to help all murdered spirits in limbo. The guessing game is great, I was wrong until the very last moment! I only knew seconds before it was revealed. Well done. Acting is decent enough, the cgi is a bit unlucky. Still, I recommend this one. I just saw that this isn't on here yet. I'll rip it for you all shortly.

Terminal Invasion - Bruce Campbell is an accused murderer in custody of two policemen who get stranded near an airport. The weather is extreme and no flight can leave. Now Bruce and the cops find out that not everybody on the airfield is really human: an invasion is being scouted out. From then on, the film turns into a survival film: who is human and who isn't, will everyone survive to see the sun shine once more? It is always fun to watch films like these, even if they don't have Campbell (actually, I think he did a very mediocre job on this one). Biggest letdown is the cgi, which looks real ugly at times. Nice little gem though, for a good 80 minutes enjoyment. Recommended.

The Manson Family - film interlaced with documentary fragments. I suppose those are real. They give the film an extra twist, as you can see how sick and twisted some of the Manon Family members (still) are. Some others repent, one has become a priest. They give the viewer an inside look on the Manson Family, and I must say that it is quite a shocking look. This docudrama (I think we can safely call it that way) has sweet hippie scenes, sex (free love) scenes, weird trippy scenes and shocking and gruesome scenes. I didn't feel like I was watching a movie with actors who played out a script. If the BBC had made this, it would be famous now, I think. Recommended, just don't watch the acting too closely.

Cybertracker 2 - years later, after UHR has become more or less legit, the cybertrackers are used by the police in cases where they need that bit of extra help. But, a weapons dealer has the cybertracker technology too and combines it with identity stealing. This way he can exterminate his enemies easily. Now it is up to Eric and Connie Phillips to stop him in time. Superthin storyline makes a lot of action possible, with firefights and hand to hand combat all over the place. Don "The Dragon" Wilson plays his part once more, the trackers are just like in part 1, except for the ones with a "new face". Mindless timefiller. Only for those who are into bad actionflicks.