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PostPosted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 9:34 am  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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The Ancient One
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Gothika - for along time I avoided watching this film as the reviews were so bad when it came out. Recently I bought it for something like one Euro, so I gave it a chance after all. I'm glad I did, because it is quite a nice movie. Not the best I have seen, it didn't scare me a lot, but overall this was good enough. The story is about Dr. Miranda Grey, a psychiatrist in a penitentiary. She treats a woman named Chloe, who talks of being raped by the devil. One night when driving home through some bad weather, she has a weird meeting with a strange looking girl. The next day she wakes up in a cell in the penitentiary she used to work for: it turns out she killed her husband and now she gets the treatment she gave to so many others before. Convinced that she is not crazy, she tries everything to prove she is a sane person, bu since there has been a murder, she needs to do it fast: before she gets convicted. The story of a person who is fighting for something against all odds is nothing new, and we have seen presumed craziness many times before, too. Gothika doesn't get it's originality from there, but what makes this interesting, is the fact that the doctor uses her knowledge of psychiatry on herself in order to analyse her own situation. There is also a subplot which has actually nothing to do with the main plot, but the film can't go without it. It did make the film less of a real horror, though and that was a bit of a pity. The ending was a tad meh too, but overall, like I said, good enough to give it a spin.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 3:20 pm  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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The day before yesterday:

Valentine - sometimes I'm in for a popcorn slasher with American teens or students and all cliches you can think of. Yesterday was such a time and Valentine fit my needs. It has a youth trauma about love, so that's why 13 years later a killer sends morbid Valentine cards to the future victims. They are a group of friends and now they get killed one after the other. The eyecandy is provided by Denise Richards, Katherine Heigl and Marley Shelton. For the ladies there are David Boreanaz and Daniel Cosgrove. The killer is very guessable, the plottwist is a bit corny. So if you are in for the slasher equivalent of bubblegum, go and pick this one.

Vampire in Brooklyn - to my surprise this film was directed by Wes Craven. It was a surprise because Craven used to make serious horror, and this is more a comedy than a horror. The fact that Eddy Murphy plays the vampire adds to this. Unfortunately, Murphy isn't a scary character and therefore his best scenes are when the vampire is transformed into someone else. The comedy fell a bit flat on me, the ghoul was way too "forced funny" imo. The whole thing felt a bit like a comic, with characters named Justice, sterotypical stuff like in blaxploitations, etc. Not for the real horror fan, but somehow enjoyable nonetheless.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 4:49 pm  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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The Devil, Probably
Joined: Mon Jun 09, 2003 1:04 pm
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Location: In the darkest spot of your soul.
WolfCop 2014
An alcoholic cop is turned into a werewolf. Shapeshifters need his blood to retain their powers.
That's it. Nothing more to say about this movie. Usually I really tear stuff like that apart, but
technically this one was ok. A nice werewolf transformation. Some funny gore. But nothing
else. Flat story. Mediocre acting. Nevertheless, for b-movie lovers possibly enjoyable. IMDB
lists it a 'comedy'. Perhaps it is, but I think it failed in this genre. The 'funniest' thing is the
name of the cop, who is turned into a werewolf: Lou Garou.... HAHAHAHA.... not.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 10:02 pm  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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Yesterday I watched two films that I had seen before somehow.

Blood on Satan's Claw - it turned out that I watched this British horror 3 years ago,but I fell asleep back then, seeing only the the beginning of the film and the final scene. Now that I have watched it in it's entirety, it made more sense to me storywise. I stick to my earlier judgment that this is very worthwhile to watch, the atmosphere is great, the setting is superb and the music is good, too. Acting is OK and learning about the main acrress being only 18 years old while filming, it makes it an even better achievement. Recommended!

Quarantine - although I hadn't seen Quarantine yet, I had seen [REC] and it is effectively the same movie, except for a few not so important changes and the language of course. Barcelona has changed to LA this time, Manuela Velasco has turned into Jennifer Carpenter, etc. I really had the feeling I was watching a movie I already knew, and that was kind of stupid. A really unnecessary remake if you ask me. Don't wath this, watch [REC] instead.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 17, 2014 11:51 pm  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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Two Faces of Evil – I watched this episode of Hammer House of Horror a while ago, but I forgot to review it. In this case, that says enough: it is kind of forgettable. The story is about doppelgangers and starts when a family on the road takes in a mysterious hitchhiker who attacks the father. After he gets out of the hospital he seems to act a little strange and then the wife starts to suspect that he isn’t really her husband. It’s the storyline I didn’t like and therefore this was to me the worst episode until now, as it was simply uninteresting.

The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent – this was great SBiG stuff! This DVD was quite expensive compared to what I usually pay, but it was totally worth it. Actually the movie is called “Viking Women and the Sea Serpent” on the cover, I guess it’s because they wanted to leave some room for a picture, too. This film, although it only lasts for 65 minutes, is one of the coolest 50s B-movies I have ever seen. It starts out with the Viking women throwing spears at trees (voting in the “traditional Viking ways” like the voice over tells us). They are voting for or against a journey into the unknown to get their husbands back, there is actually only one man left, called Otta. When one of the women says the gods don’t want them to leave on the journey, one of the supporters of the trip points at the sky and see: a picture perfect drakar-shaped cloud appears! This must be a sign too! After that they go on the journey, but soon their rudder breaks off their ship. Even though they don’t have a means to steer their ship now, they continue, and see: after a while one of the women is at the rudder like nothing happened! They meet the great sea serpent but they survive the first encounter and land safely on the shores of a strange country. There, they are captured by the Grimolt tribe and first they are going boar hunting. The son of the Grimolt leader is attacked by a very unscary looking pig (probably with the teeth glued on) and he is saved by the viking woman leader. Later, the viking women find their husbands, who still have nice and tidy haircuts, although they have been worked off as slaves for the past few years. When the women try to escape together with their men, a fight breaks loose and a race to the sea starts. In the scene where they keave the land, there is one ore cool example: Otta fights off the Grimolt warrior who first arrives at the shore after the women have started to row away in their boat. After he has won the fight, he swims over to the boat and reaches it faster than the Grimolts who have started to row themselves almost simultaneously. So much went wrong in this film, so much was illogical and unwise for characters to do, I almost kept laughing throughout and I can't write it all down here. A real winner for Nights of Bad Taste! Highly recommended for bad moviefans!

The Haunted Sea – coincidentally, this film had lot to do with sea too, and it had ships and large serpents. Joanna Pacula and Krista Allen (of Emmanuelle 1994 fame – 8 movies) are two shipmates who are sent out by their captain James Brolin to explore a mysterious ship which they can see through their windows, but doesn’t show up on radar. They find a treasure, but it’s cursed as the Aztec priests had planned when they were conquered by the Spanish in the 16th century (this part is shown by some stock footage of notably less quality, btw). Now when you steal it, you will die a horrible death by Aztec demons. This demon looks like a guy in a large rubber snake suit, and he rips off limbs at the go. The artefacts don’t look golden at all, they are cheap ass looking and the snakeman is even more ridiculous. The treasure was supposed to be guarded, and when the shipmates find the weaponry, they find explosives and crates and crates full of ammo for only two rifles (smart move there by the defense). This film had loads of mistakes too, like when the two women walk through the ship, you can see that Pacula is looking into the direction where she has to fall the next second, and so she does when the ceiling collapses. All rooms are filled with dozens of empty boxes and drums: no wonder the economy is going downward when we are sending large ships over the ocean filled to the brim with empty cargo. The boxes happily bounce all over the place at every fight in one of the rooms. The snake god demon thingy is laughably ridiculous and totally unscary at that. I had great fun watching all this nonsense and of course Krista Allen. Not as good as Viking Women, but still a high recommendation for bad moviefans for this one too.

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 18, 2014 9:20 pm  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman
What was the very first release I 'found' here? Don't know, but Jack Frost was definitely in the lower one digit numbers. Perhaps it was the first. I saw a trailer and it was goofy and gory. But in a good way. Now Jack Frost 2? Perhaps even more goofy. I don't really know. Too long since I saw the first part. But I enjoyed it. Jack Frost 2 has an IMDB rating of 3.7... And I understand where this low rating comes from. Still, the acting was appropriate. The special effects.... not so special. The story... erm... One critic on IMDB wrote: Very Dumb But Entertaining. And I agree. Though I would give it a higher rating. It is on par with 'The Killer Tomatos'. But as 'sequel' it will never get any cult status... if this happens nowadays at all.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 19, 2014 5:34 pm  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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Meet The Feebles - saw this Peter Jackson film for sale a few times, but prices were quite high. When I bumped into a cheaper one, I bought it because I was curious about it. It's a musical with puppets and it's about a variety show, so it reminded me of The Muppets, of which this is a spoof or a rip-off. While the Muppets are perfect for some family entertainment, the Feebles aren't: they drink, use drugs, have lots of sex and are involved into crime on the side to finance their show. Although I usually hate musical, it really fits into this film because of the variety show-theme. I had fun watching this, as the puppets are so raunchy and this fim is actually pretty violent. There are some Vietnam scenes which spoof Full Metal Jacket, Platoon and Deer Hunter and the end scene with the machinegun is epic. If you want to see something dfferent, if you want to have a laugh, go watch this one.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 20, 2014 11:04 pm  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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Kingdom Come 2014
Worthless crap. Technically ok, but story? Totally predictable. Standard 'survival horror' in an abandoned hospital? Asylum? Ok, it is some kind of afterlife, which looks like an old hospital. Purgatory? Hell? Whatever. A few people wake up in it. Don't remember much. The usual quarrel in this type of setting... who is the leader, who has the biggest dick. Turns out they are all dead or dieing. And here comes the most disgusting part: It is not only a crap film, it is a misandric crap film. The men are all rapist, who like to kill their victims while fucking, child molester, or religious crackpots, who kill their daughters because they date a black guy and send the black guy to prison for it. The women? Oh, the usual innocent victims. The worst... oh my god... was a drug addict, who died because of her drugs. The second one? Totally innocent in life, but killed the child molester, she was one of his victims, in hell. So not even while she was alive. And the last one? *Gasp*... she had an abortion. Spoilers? Yes... but I won't tell the ending. Be warned... it is even more stupid than the rest of this film.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 10:50 am  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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7eventy5ive – after having read a lot of bad reviews on this my expectations were really low for this run of the mill slasher. And yeah, it isn’very original, that’s correct. It’s about a group of youngsters who are a “crew” since they wwere kids. When they were kids, they used to play a game called seventyfive, in which you have to dial a random telephone number and you have to make the person on the phone believe your story. If the person in question laughs, hangs up or doesn’t believe you within 75 seconds, you lose. But on one night, a killer comes into the house and kills all adults present, among whom are the parents of one of the boys. Now in their twenties, they reunite on a party and they play the game again. Of course people start to die and some of those deaths are really gory, which is a plus in the middle of this sea of cliches. Acting is OK enough, the plot is boring and the ending is quite OK although also very unoriginal. If you like slashers, this mjight be OK for you, just know what to expect and you’ll be fine.

The Oracle – nice B-movie with a lot of exaggerated and/or bad effects. Opening the DVD case was a challenge, with three large stickers on he sides: maybe it was a warning for me, to keep me safe from what’s inside, as this movie was quite a pooper. With a cast which is almost 100% full of people who only made this film (or maybe one or two other films), this is an 80s B-movie which has all the ingredients you long for as an SBiG fan. Acting ranges from wooden to overdone, gore is over the top and effects are laughable (the first person to get stabbed, that fake belly, lol). The story isn’t even so bad, but man, they should have paid more attention in film school. Of course I had fun with the fake looking
Spoiler:
risen dead guy who in the end appears to kill off his wife
but no serious horrorfan could ever appreciate this. Totally unscary, this film will be much appreciated by the bad moviefan. All others should steer clear of this one.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 22, 2014 7:54 pm  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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Since I got the mule up and running again, I can watch modern movies more often now, so here goes:

Cabin Fever 3 - well, this is not the kind of movie I was waiting for to see, but I simply gave it a chance. It is a very messy and gory film, but the story is dumb. There are some nice (but obviously fake) boobs in it, and the acting is so so: especially the Latina nurse is bad. This film's location and atmosphere reminded me a bit of the Lost TV series, but thaat spiraled out of control and so does this film, albeit a lot less than Lost. The plot twist was OK, but not really shocking. I'm not sure if I really enjoyed this, as the gore and the action were OK, but all else was so stupid, like the "jokes" and the dialogue. Can't recommend this, really.

Open Grave - went into this one without knowing what it was really about and that was a good thing to do. It's a mystery/horror, so the less you know the better. If you want to keep it like that, just know that I can really recommend this one and stop reading now.

OK, for everyone who didn't stop reading: a guy wakes up in a pit full of dead bodies. Soon he gets help to climb out and he meets a group of people inside a house. At gunpoint (both the guy from the pit and one other guy are holding guns) they exchange information, but they have very little. Some even don't know their names and they can't remember where they are or why they are there. This goes on for quite a while, there are some hints, but they have a double function, as they are red herrings too. As you try to unravel the mystery yourself, you can easily be led astray, because the real outcome only comes in the final part of the film. I was really surprised, although not all of the final story was lost on me in the hints part. I had great fun watching this one, and I'm looking forward to see more of this Spanish director. Only drawback for me is that I like films more in their native language, so Italian cinema is better to me when it's in Italian, same goes for Spanish horror. But it's a minor detail, as I only found out later that the director actually was Spanish (while watching I got the feeling that it might be, though - Spanish horror has that typical distinguished atmosphere). Highly recommended!

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 22, 2014 7:58 pm  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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Slayer wrote:
Highly recommended!

Seconded. :thumbsup:


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 8:38 pm  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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Parents - read a lot of good stuff about this one. It's about an all-American family in the 50s, with a nice car, a nice home in the suburbs, all devices a woman would ever want in the kitchen and a good job for dad to pay for all that. They also have a son Michael, and he is a bit odd. That's nothing really surprising, because although on the outside the family seems perfectly normal, they are hiding a dark secret... More a comedy than a horror imo, there are some funny situations, I especially enjoyed the conversation between the mother and the school psychiatrist: "Does Michael have a close relationship with his father?" Mother: "Very close". "OK, what do they do together?" "Many things". "Like what?" "Well, many things." "Could you give an example?" "I'd just say that they do many, many things together and leave it at that." And the way she looks when talking this vague nonsense is pricesless. Therefore: acting is ace. It takes abit too long imo to get to the point in this film, but when they do, they do it just right. Good fun, a small recommendation from me.

The Arena - Joe D'Amato and some other guy co-directed this peplum piece starring both Pam Grier and Margaret Markov, just like in Black Mama White Mama. It's about four women who get captured by the Romans on the outskirts of the empire and they are being brought to Brundisium (today's Brindisi) as slaves. When they fight in the kitchen one day, they get "promoted" to being female gladiators. First they have to fight men, but soon they are facing each other. The only way out seems to be an escape. Many familiar faces for followers of Italo cinema, like Rosalba Neri, Franco Garofalo and Salvatore Baccaro (the guy who played the beast in Beast In Heat). The fighting scenes are clumsy, the drama/romance is cliche and the "twist" can be seen from miles away. You have to love this kind of trash and yes, I do. So I recommend this for Italo fans: bad moviefans have to look closer to spot something nice and serious moviefans should skip this one entirely.

Return of the Fly - the sequel to the original 50s Fly film. Again with Vincent Price and also some other castmembers are still there, which is a nice touch, imo. From the start, this could only be a worse film than the original and sadly, it is. It is even much worse. Pirce does his best to make at least something out of it, but the entire storyline is doomed to fail, because of course the nephew has to have a try and in order to get him in the pod together with a fly, well, yes, you have to play some dumb tricks. The subplot about the guy wanting to steal the invention is unnecessary and while the first film actually scared me a little bit here the fly monster is just a sorry creature, of which Price dares to say that it has the "killer instinct of a fly", yeah, right. Bad film, but can be fun for bad moviefans as a lot of stuff goes wrong.

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 25, 2014 2:36 pm  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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Dr. Giggles - in a village, the doctor is being lynched by an angry mob, because he did some evil stuff in the medical realm, in order to help his sick wife. Somehow, their son escaped the clutches of the angry mob, and years later people in the town are getting scared by a series of murders, supposedly committed by a doctor. A group of friends (among whom is Holly Marie Combs) now faces this mad serial killer. This was quite an OK slashger, with some really creative kills and lots and lots of corny oneliners by the "doctor". Storyline is a bit shaky at times, but overall this was pretty enjoyable, also because there is plenty of gore. Recommended.

Dark Floors - - this film is also known as "The Lordi movie", because it has demonic creatures which look like the bandmembers of the Finnish metalband Lordi. Well, unless you're a big fan of that band, you better stay away from this piece of crap. This film is really going nowhere. It's set in a hospital, where a man comes to pick up his autistic daughter. He then wants to leave the hospital but can't: he and his daughter are trapped inside, together with a nurse, another father, a security guy and an old guy. On their way out they see ghosts and the demonic monsters try to keep the daughter in the hospital. What really annoyed me was that when a monster appeared, the sound went up 50dB, making an incredible noise, waking up the neighbourhood. When I would lower the volume, then I couldn't follow any dialogue anymore. Really irritating, and a weakness in the film that scary stuff has to be accompanied with loudness. A totally unsatisfactory experience, watching this, even though it's only 80 minutes. Avoid.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 26, 2014 9:32 pm  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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Housebound 2014
Surprisingly good. Somehow I don't like to write more... all I want to say: Nothing is as it initially appears to be.
Even the IMDB description is a bit misleading. Anyone who intends to watch this one... and I recommend it, don't
do any further 'research'. Spoilers really spoil this one. :D


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 01, 2014 3:36 pm  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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Halloween movienight!

Idle Hands - nice opener, as it plays out during Halloween in a small town where Anton wakes up one morning to find that his house is empty, except for the dog. No trace of his parents. The stoner he is, he doesn't really go and find out about it, but continues his life like nothing happened. His two stoner friends Mick and Pnub aren't of much help either, they just try to stimulate Anton to go for his crush Molly (played by Jessica Alba in one of her first full length movies), who lives across the street. When Anton finds out that his parents are killed and his hand is possessed somehow, he tries to not kill his friends or anyone else, but that is harder than he had imagined. Funny horrorfilm with some noticeable performances by Seth Green, Jack Noseworthy, Vivica Fox and of course Alba, whose performance is, well, stimulating. It never gets really scary, but it doesn't have to. Nice horror movie to watch with the kids when they are a bit older. I had fun, so I recommend it, especially if you wanna have some laughs with gore.

Dead End Drive-In - Australian apocalyptic film from the late 80s. Gangs are ruling the streets, police is corrupt, violence and riots are the order of the day. When Crabs and his girlfriend Carmen are going for a ride to a drive-in, they find out they are being trapped inside. Now Crabs wants to get out, but for some reason nobody else seems to have the same wish, so he has to fend for himself. He finds out that the police and the drive-in manager are doing some risky business, so he has to be careful and plan his escape accordingly. Weird film, strange atmosphere but it screams cult all over and all the time. I had fun, although I sometimes got a bit annoyed by the obvious morale messages in the storyline. Eyecandy enough, as Carmen is wearing a slutty outfit almost throughout the entire film and there are some others, too. The ending was OK, although I thouyght it was a bit too easy that
Spoiler:
Carmen simply said to Crabs that she did't want to get out and that was that
But that didn't spoil the film for me. Cool flick, recommended for fans of the genre.

Day of the Dead - the remake from 2008. Bad film. The original story is out of the window, there are running zom bies, but also wallclimbing zombies (like they are aliens), shooting zombies and car driving zombies. Way over the top and I really disliked it, because for me they weren’t zombies anymore (but more vampire-like). It was OK to watch some known faces, like Mena Suvari, AnnaLynne McCord, Ving Rhames and Christa Campbell, but they couldn’t save this crapfest. The zombie make up ranges from OK to really fake faceplaster, the gore ranges from too dark to too cgi. The ending is childish, I can’t call it anything else. I read that the Dawn remake is better than this one, let’s hope so, because after having avoided these two for a long time, I gave in because there are so few zombiefilms left to watch. At least please avoid this one, it isn’t worth your time.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 03, 2014 9:44 pm  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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Avalanche Sharks - with a title like this, you can't expect anything else than bullshit crap, and that's what I got. A pile of cliches in the gazillionth monsterflick which hs one thing going for it: it's absurdity. Because yes, it is what you think: on a ski mountain, spring break hunks and bimbos are getting eaten by, yes, sharks. These (badly cgi made) sharks are supposed to be summoned by some sort of a demon which is pissed because of something of which you only learn a few minutes before the ending:
Spoiler:
the totems on the mountain have fallen over
I mean: come on! Can't you take anything, dumb demon? OK, the fact that the demon got pissed in the first place is quite logical (some story about natives being massacred), but all else is over the top,m including the rest of the film: characters, weaponry, etc. Of course there is a mayor who doesn't want to disturb the fantastic weekend with lots of customers while the smart people are warning everyone but nobody is believing them, bla bla you must have seen this a thousand times before. Therefore, if you don't like cliches or absurdities, stay away from this "film".

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2014 5:54 pm  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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Went over to a friend to watch some movies:

Death Factory - the title screen said The Factory, but that isn't a better title. Both titles have been used in the past already, the latter even more extensively. OK, on to the film. In a bus we get to see a bunch of people on a trip. They are very diverse and cliche: we have the ex-military guy, the young couple, the married religious fanatics, the babes, the Goth couple, the sports guy and the fat black lady. They get stranded nearby a serial killer museum in a ghosttown, and unknown to them, there has been a mysterious visitor there before them. This guy was preparing the resurrections of several legendary serial killers, like Ed Gein and Jeffrey Dahmer. Now that the group has arrived, some of the resurrections are starting to take place and one after the other, the serial killers reappear. When one of them gets killed, his spirit goes into his killer, but apparently without any noticeable effect. There are some lame "romantic" scenes, there are some nice kills but most of them are boring and offscreen. The serial killers even atack each other, which makes it a lot easier for the group to survive. The plot near the end was quite cool, but not enough to make this a memorable experience. It would turn out this was the best film of the evening, though.

Shakma - in a medical facility, a group of students play a game on Friday night, together with their professor, played by Roddy McDowall of Fright Night-fame. The goal is to get a lot of clues and to rescue the princess on the top floor (which isn't in fact the top floor, but I guess that was a detail for the filmmakers). On the day of the game, a baboon trained by the main character goes berserk and is being put to sleep. But of course, the tranquilizer is not enough and the ape survives the ordeal just to get back to all humans inside the building. Because they are playing a game in which only one person can win, all girls and boys are not taking everything they see and hear seriously, giving Shakma the ideal opportunity to take out the humans one by one. The kills Shakma makes are very bloody, you never really get to see the killsho, but there are some very nice shots which are related to it, my favourite being the shot from underneath Shakma's head where you can see the blood dripping from it's teeth. The humans act pretty dumb overall, further facilitating the baboon. Overall I really liked this somewhat cheesy movie, the clothing, the music, the atmosphere. I guess it is not for the serious horrorfan, though.

Attila - an Asylum film, so you know it might be erratic, illogical or not even a movie at all, but just some images put in a row. This one falls into this category for sure. It wants to make the impression that it has something to do with history, but it goes overboard soon and it never gets back on track. A guy called Sumatra Sulawesi (yes, those are two names of Indonesian islands) is somehow an heir to Attila and bears in his grave one third of the staff of Moses. Yes, don't try to understand how Attila got this staff in the first place. This staff, of which the three pieces are now "spread across the world", has very special powers. It's the duty of a rogue military guy to find it, and of course this is gonna be "his last mission" and when things go wrong he was "just doing his job" according to the equally cliche ridden general. Oh yeah, and there is an archaeologist with a mercenary soldier as his sidekick, to spice things up. Or not. The "Hun" guarding the stuff is immortal and he can take bullets like they aren't even there. Still, the soldiers keep shooting at him, even they know about this invulnerability. In the end there is some sort of a fight which is also cliche and there is a large cgi explosion, destroying the cgi building and the cgi forest. It was all so bad, it as a nice closer for the evening, but man, you shouldn't watch these things alone.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 11, 2014 2:22 pm  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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Voodoo Possession - this wasn't just bad, this was also boring. Two brothers with a youth trauma see their mother kill herself and when they have grown up, one is gonna search for the other, who seems to be missing. They go to Haiti (insert stock footage of Haiti) and there they meet the assistant of the famous witch doctor the brother was working with before his disappearance. From now on, the entire film is shot inside of buildings, so no more need of stock footage. From the assistant witch doctor they learn that there are portals to the spirit world, if you go through them, you end up in the same building, but then plastic sheets are hanging off the wall, signaling you are in the spirit world. They also learn a lot of stuff from a video which was shot by the younger brother together with Danny Trejo, who gets his 10 minutes of screentime so the filmmakers can put his name big on the cover. Of course in the spirit world you can meet your own spirit, and the one from the younger brother is there, too. The trauma is being handled in an emotional conversation, the demon is beaten in a fight. The end. Small pluses are: the looks of the girl and the looks of the demon. I advise you to not watch this.

Sharknado 2: The Second One - fantastic title of a sequel, of course. Ian Ziering and the plastic rebuilt Tara Reid are in a plane on their way to NY City when, yes, you guessed it, another Sharknado starts and the plane gets hit by several sharks, also eating some of the passengers and the flight attendant, played by Kelly Osdourne. Ziering puts the plane on the ground and that is only the start of a series of ever growing impossibilities which pass by on your screen and it is hilarious. Lots of real life people involved in this one, such as the Today Show reporter and his weatherman who go all serious about the sharknado hitting the city. In fact, there are two sharknados and in the end even three. Ziering does all kinds of weird stuff, from jumping over the backs of sharks in the streets of NY ("he was jumping the shark" huhuhu, would Butthead say) to flying on a shark's back chainsawing it's fellow sharks. Yes, it is 150% ridiculous and I loved it. Apart from Ziering and Reid there are several other over the hill castmembers present, like Vivica A. Fox and Kari Wuhrer. But the growing number of more well known people involved in this kind of film makes me wonder if this is a phenomenon that will stay a while: the new cheap no brain exploitation cinema. If you are in the mood for a serious film, then pick something else, but if you want to have a laugh without having to think, then take this. You will enjoy it.

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2014 10:54 pm  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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Machete Kills - I badly wanted to see this film tonight, but I was having audio problems. MPC wouldn't play the audio at all, so I tried VLC, Downloading K-lite, etc, etc. until I finally found out that updating Windows was the thing to do. So after one hour of trial and error I could finally sit down and watch Machete Kills. And it was a blast! If I were a woman, I'd marry Robert Rodriguez! Man, he makes exactly the stuff I love about film! From the fake trailer (of which I hope it isn't so fake after all) to the cliffhanger at the end, I loved (almost) every minute of it. Can't really name something which I disliked, maybe the performance of Lady Gaga, which was a bit dumb. That character was a bit meh, imo. Amber Heard was the "sweetest thang" and the rest of the cast had lots and lots of familiar faces: Tom Savini, Michelle Rodriguez, the Avellan sisters, Jessica Alba and many others. I laughed out loud several times and the intestines thing got a new dimesnion to it, it was some kind of a mix between Machete and Planet Terror ;) Highly recommended, no horror, but a must see anyway!

Raptor Ranch - everything after Machete Kills would be worse, so I picked something which could have that. It was Raptor Ranch, with Lorenzo Lamas (a guarantee for a bad film!). Story is simple: people start disappearing, police is confused, native American girl has the solution (and two big physical assets, too). Oh, and there is asome sort of a weird act with a big fat negro and a blonde and a goth girl. Lots of gore, I must give them that, and the cgi is convincing. The role of Lamas was tedious, I wonder why he even considered to play it, but maybe he is washed down even fiurther than I thought. The ending is quite boring, the raptors (who look like Tyrannosauruses, btw) do the craziest things. Only for bad moviefans, this one.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2014 1:27 am  Post subject: Re: The Movies You Watched Today Topic!
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Scream 3 – the only Scream film I hadn’t seen yet. I wasn’t sure about Scream 2, but after one minute of that I knew I had already seen it. Scream 3 is not really a bad film, but it is the worst Scream film, even 4 is better. Story is about the same, the spoofs are really mild no wand the action is being postponed too often. The first hour of the film is quite boring, because everything happens so slowly and there aren’t any real surprises. After that, it steps up a notch and it becomes more enjoyable, but I wouldn’t recommend this film, especially since there are three others which arte better. End score of Scream series: 1) one, 2) two, 3) four, 4) three.

Bigfoot Wars – men in large monstersuits, it has it’s charms. For no apparent reason, there are some bigfoot monsters around and they kill people. Actually, that’s about it. The film lasts for only 70 minutes, which is more than enough to tell this “story”. There is nothing special to remember about this film, except maybe for the gun toting redneck…. But no, he isn’t anything memorable either. Shitty film, avoid unless you want to watch moving images brainlessly.

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